What Are You Doing Right Now? (319 Viewers)

[.zero]

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter

WEE WOO WEE WOO

ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!

steps on stage

Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"

Comedy God: "Heh..."

adjusts fedora

the building is filled with fear and anticipation

God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense

comedy god clears throat

everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard

world leaders look and wait with dread

everything in the world stops

nothing is happening

comedy god smirks

no one is prepared for what is going to happen

comedy god musters all of this power

he bellows out to the world

"ATTACK"

absolute suspense

everyone is filled with overwhelming dread

"HELICOPTER"

all at once, absolute pandemonium commences

all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once

giant brawls start

43 wars are declared simultaneously

a shockwave travels around the earth

earth is driven into chaos

humanity is regressed back to the stone age

the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself

all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did

people who aren't killed die from laughter

literally the funniest joke in the world

then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma

 

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[IliveForJuve]

I just saw a booty that made me want to turn into an attack helicopter

 

[.zero]

Blackhawk up or down?

 

[AFL_ITALIA]

I just saw a booty that made me want to turn into an attack helicopter

 

[IliveForJuve]

That 2cb is hitting hard at almost 5am. That ass is literally breathing

 

[CrimsonianKing]

Don’t show it to @DAiDEViL. He likes them flat like a table.

 

[X Æ A-12]

That 2cb is hitting hard at almost 5am. That ass is literally breathing

you still alive?

 

[DAiDEViL]

Don’t show it to @DAiDEViL. He likes them flat like a table.

I just don't like fat asses. Fat as in unfit.

 

[.zero]

Preferences on a waste disposal component is quite the topic

 

[X Æ A-12]

Seedorf had quite the fit ass

 

[GordoDeCentral]

I just don't like fat asses. Fat as in unfit.

 

[IliveForJuve]

you still alive?

Yeah.

That was my strongest 2CB trip to date. I thought I was high while still at a rave, but as soon as I started heading home the crazy visuals kicked in and I was laughing like a maniac on the tube at 3am.

10/10 I would do it again.

 

[swag]

OK, so we know about the Slanket/wearable blankets and now wearable sleeping bags:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/voited-wearable-sleeping-bag

So hear me out. New product idea.

It's called... Fappants

They are Bluetooth-enabled pants that are designed to digitally synchronize with your webcam to project a filter with the appearance of you wearing pants when you're really fapping.

Who's in? Is there a market for this? Work Zoom calls would never be so fun.

And just think of the politicians and CNN reporters who would still be employed if they had a pair...

 

[.zero]

OK, so we know about the Slanket/wearable blankets and now wearable sleeping bags:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/voited-wearable-sleeping-bag

So hear me out. New product idea.

It's called... Fappants

They are Bluetooth-enabled pants that are designed to digitally synchronize with your webcam to project a filter with the appearance of you wearing pants when you're really fapping.

Who's in? Is there a market for this? Work Zoom calls would never be so fun.

And just think of the politicians and CNN reporters who would still be employed if they had a pair...

Give a slanket and a fappant to every living human in the 7x7. That should improve things after President Xi leaves

 

[X Æ A-12]

Barry Manilow was gay this whole time?

 

[.zero]

No more lies pls

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

I love my favorite team, FC Barry Manilow.

 

[swag]

Or was that FC Barry Maniblow?

 

[AFL_ITALIA]

Man, I have no idea if this job is for me and it's killing me. The scheduling is the most retarded thing, won't know what shift you work until about 1pm the day before, BUT you can retire with a pension after 23 years. I'm anxious as fuck right now that I'll make the wrong decision about whether to keep this or not.

 

[X Æ A-12]

Man, I have no idea if this job is for me and it's killing me. The scheduling is the most retarded thing, won't know what shift you work until about 1pm the day before, BUT you can retire with a pension after 23 years. I'm anxious as fuck right now that I'll make the wrong decision about whether to keep this or not.

fuck that, quit. You aren't gonna be that young much longer.