F my life (26 Viewers)

[Lion]

I'm hot, but not a girl.

you have to compromise

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Lawnchair Bes]

i'd take it if it were the other way around

 

[Red]

What if Lion grows his hair a bit?

 

[Lawnchair Bes]

not even post-op

 

[Lion]

okay this is getting awkward

 

[swag]

my thread was hijacked and i care. fml

Recovery of the year.

 

[Elvin]

That's not how you say Auxerre .

Exactly

ffs stop hijacking my thread you maggots.

my thread was hijacked and i care. fml

:rofl2: Epic

 

[Lawnchair Bes]

you know, it always bothered me that i never got a post of the month

 

[Elvin]

Today, you know, it always bothered me that i never got a post of the month. FML

Talk about getting your own weapon used against you eh

 

[Lawnchair Bes]

i should have known

 

[gray]

All those wasted extra trees that must be chopped down just so books and magazines can accommodate your superfluous 'u's. And in this economy... as if contributing to global warming like that wasn't bad enough.

You Canadians should be ashamed of yourselves.

And you do realise how much noise pollution and (indirectly) methane is released into the atmosphere when those millions of people 'add' an 'extra' "ni" and pronounce "aluminium" correctly.

 

[nasser]

Today, I tried to suck my own penis. Autofellatio. My mother walked in on me and I flipped backwards off the bed. ER and 10 stiches above my eyebrow later, I asked her not to ever bring it up again. FML

lol

 

[Lion]

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML


Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and said I was not 'Christian enough' for her. Later I found out she had been cheating on me with my best friend. FML


Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML


Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML


Today, on my way home from watching a movie with a girl, I began having an erection because I thought I could kiss her goodnight. She dropped me off at home, and with my full blown erection, I walked in front of her car with the headlights on. FML


Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

 

[swag]

After being deemed an expensive failure at Inter, I got sent on loan to Chelsea to play for a fellow Portuguese coach. FML

 

[The Curr]

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML


Today, this guy took me to Denny's on a first date and used a 2 for 1 coupon. It was expired. I paid. FML


Today, I can't decide what's worse, my mom walking in on me doing the five knuckle shuffle, or the one hour talk the next day about how it's perfectly normal and even she does it. FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML


Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

:rofl2:

 

[Red]

five knuckle shuffle

Awesome expression.

 

[Elvin]

After being deemed an expensive failure at Inter, I got sent on loan to Chelsea to play for a fellow Portuguese coach. FML

...who got sacked shortly after. FML

 

[Seven]

After being deemed an expensive failure at Inter, I got sent on loan to Chelsea to play for a fellow Portuguese coach. FML

Who then turned out to be Brazilian and got sacked.

 

[Red]

So that's why he got sacked...

 

[gray]

Today, after a late night at the bars, I stepped into my building's elevator with a Chinese man who was carrying a plastic bag. Without thinking I said, "Oooh, are you still delivering?" His response, "I live here." FML