F my life (1 Viewer)

[Lion]

http://www.fmylife.com/



Best. Site. Ever.

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Snoop]

good idea

 

[Azzurri7]

Interesting

 

[Dostoevsky]

Nice

 

[Snoop]

This one is good

"Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. She told me I just wasn't her type, but gave me the phone number of one of her friends. Since all the friends I had met had been pretty hot, I called it later. Her friend was a guy. FML"

 

[Azzurri7]

"Today, I got a text from my roommate asking me if it was cool that my ex was coming over to console him because he's sick." FML

how innocent

 

[Lion]

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

 

[Dostoevsky]

Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating.

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

 

[Snoop]

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

 

[icemaη]

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

Sounds like me

 

[Alen]

"Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML"

 

[Lion]

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

 

[Dostoevsky]

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us.

 

[Alen]

"Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML"

 

[Dostoevsky]

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow.

 

[Juve_fanatic]

Today, I decided that I was bored while I was pooping and decided to paint my nails. I had to wait at least 30 minutes to wipe. FML

 

[Dostoevsky]

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour.

 

[Lion]

Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML

 

[Lion]

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

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Today, I found out that my assistant is now my manager. FML

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Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

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Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

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Today, my girlfriend and I broke up. She told me I just wasn't her type, but gave me the phone number of one of her friends. Since all the friends I had met had been pretty hot, I called it later. Her friend was a guy. FML

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Today, I was on a date with this girl. I attempted to put my arm around her, but I elbowed her in the face instead. FML

 

[Bjerknes]

I made one.