the secret diary of don juan capello (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Bozi
- Start date
Episode 61
In London Capello is studying the form of his current England team when he gets interrupted by a knock at the door,in walks his old mentor Arrigo Sacchi
Fabby-"wait...wait..."
Saggy-"ah fabby...still masturbating to video's of virile young men i can see"
Fabby-"it is all i can do to stop myself from shooting myself, this country always fuckin rains,always fuckin grey and when you try to get young england players to come and stay the night they call you an Uncle Sol and hang up the phone"
Saggy-"yeah it is not like back in Italy where you can get some sweet,tight,footballers arse wiggling in your face for a few euro's"
Fabby-" still have Javier Zanetti on speed sial then?"
Saggy-"no,at my age i need a man with a bit more sausage to the pound....Zlatan still misses you"
Fabby-"one day...when this is all over,i will return to him
i just need to let the stitches heal"
Saggy-"so if you are so miserable why are you still here?"
Fabby-"i ahve no option, i have to royally fuck england over before i can go. but what can i do?i pick emile heskey,wes brown and leave owen at home but still the fuckers are winning"
Saggy-"be patient my son,when it matters most they will choke,and choke royally"
Fabby-"i hope so,otherwise HE...he will not be happy"
meanwhile over in Milan,silver tongued, dry weaved,sly old devil, Silvio Berlusconi is making a few headlines of his own. hungover,he heads off to meet with old rival Cuntface Moratti
Silvio-"ah Massimo you old fanny-faced transexual,should i stick my penis in there now or get you wet first?"
Cuntface-"sivio you old cunt,you never change,come i just went to the toilet and there were no hand towels let me just dry them on your head"
Silvio-"go ahead...it is Egyptian cotton"
Cuntface-"now lets get to business,i need what you have"
Silvio-"what boyish good looks,wit charm,real hair?"
Cuntface-"no..it's..well it is a bit embarrassing"
Silvio-"come now my old hemorrhoid hunter,what is there to be shy about with old friends?"
Cuntface-"it's just..well the young argentine boys...they do not make me excited anymore,young ballotelli is hung like a dinosaur but i still stand there limp as Caudio Ranieri's masculinity. i tell you,i have tried everything"
Silvio-"you tried the blue pill?"
Cuntface-"25 of them and the only thing it raised was my blood pressure"
Silvio-"ahh i see,i have been there before,i tell you what,here you go have this number,it is a doctor, he puts a baloon inside your shaft and you simply inflate it everytime you wanna have the sex"
Cuntface-"will this work?"
Silvio-"have i ever let you down,though with the shrinkage you have suffered in your baby chippolata he may have to resort to micro-surgery. you will be back giving Esteban his facial within the week"
Cuntface-"Cambiasso?how dare you,i may have a cunt for a face,a 2 inch insult for a penis and an asshole you could hide a pirate ship in but there is no way i would stoop so low..........this meeting is over"
will Cuntface's surgery be successful,or will he be reduced to making perverted balloon animals at parties? will capello inadvertently make a success of england where so many have failed before him? will anyone anywhere ever love esteban cambiasso? does anyone still bother with this,or think it is relevant anymore? only time will tell when Bozi can be arsed making anew episode of everyones favourite mini-series
In London Capello is studying the form of his current England team when he gets interrupted by a knock at the door,in walks his old mentor Arrigo Sacchi
Fabby-"wait...wait..."
Saggy-"ah fabby...still masturbating to video's of virile young men i can see"
Fabby-"it is all i can do to stop myself from shooting myself, this country always fuckin rains,always fuckin grey and when you try to get young england players to come and stay the night they call you an Uncle Sol and hang up the phone"
Saggy-"yeah it is not like back in Italy where you can get some sweet,tight,footballers arse wiggling in your face for a few euro's"
Fabby-" still have Javier Zanetti on speed sial then?"
Saggy-"no,at my age i need a man with a bit more sausage to the pound....Zlatan still misses you"
Fabby-"one day...when this is all over,i will return to him
i just need to let the stitches heal"
Saggy-"so if you are so miserable why are you still here?"
Fabby-"i ahve no option, i have to royally fuck england over before i can go. but what can i do?i pick emile heskey,wes brown and leave owen at home but still the fuckers are winning"
Saggy-"be patient my son,when it matters most they will choke,and choke royally"
Fabby-"i hope so,otherwise HE...he will not be happy"
meanwhile over in Milan,silver tongued, dry weaved,sly old devil, Silvio Berlusconi is making a few headlines of his own. hungover,he heads off to meet with old rival Cuntface Moratti
Silvio-"ah Massimo you old fanny-faced transexual,should i stick my penis in there now or get you wet first?"
Cuntface-"sivio you old cunt,you never change,come i just went to the toilet and there were no hand towels let me just dry them on your head"
Silvio-"go ahead...it is Egyptian cotton"
Cuntface-"now lets get to business,i need what you have"
Silvio-"what boyish good looks,wit charm,real hair?"
Cuntface-"no..it's..well it is a bit embarrassing"
Silvio-"come now my old hemorrhoid hunter,what is there to be shy about with old friends?"
Cuntface-"it's just..well the young argentine boys...they do not make me excited anymore,young ballotelli is hung like a dinosaur but i still stand there limp as Caudio Ranieri's masculinity. i tell you,i have tried everything"
Silvio-"you tried the blue pill?"
Cuntface-"25 of them and the only thing it raised was my blood pressure"
Silvio-"ahh i see,i have been there before,i tell you what,here you go have this number,it is a doctor, he puts a baloon inside your shaft and you simply inflate it everytime you wanna have the sex"
Cuntface-"will this work?"
Silvio-"have i ever let you down,though with the shrinkage you have suffered in your baby chippolata he may have to resort to micro-surgery. you will be back giving Esteban his facial within the week"
Cuntface-"Cambiasso?how dare you,i may have a cunt for a face,a 2 inch insult for a penis and an asshole you could hide a pirate ship in but there is no way i would stoop so low..........this meeting is over"
will Cuntface's surgery be successful,or will he be reduced to making perverted balloon animals at parties? will capello inadvertently make a success of england where so many have failed before him? will anyone anywhere ever love esteban cambiasso? does anyone still bother with this,or think it is relevant anymore? only time will tell when Bozi can be arsed making anew episode of everyones favourite mini-series
..***..
Episode 62
Cuntface has called Jose "the special one" Mourinho into his office to discuss their progress in the summer market
Cuntface-"ahhhhhh Jose my old colon-coal-miner,how does this day find you?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"did you just fart?"
Cuntface-"emmm,me?no...it.it was my chair"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"you sure?it smells like anal juices,mixed with salt"]
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"ah i see you know the smell of our...select club"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"what?no,listen you need to help me get the players under control,the dont respect me, they don't suck my cock on demand and they call me Special K"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"Special K?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"yes,it means special cunt"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"but that makes no sense, cunt is not spelled with a K!"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"yes i know, but Zlatan is the brains of the bunch"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"ahh,i see........talk about the blind leading the blind"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"well i have told Zlatan and Maicon that if they don't stop calling me bad names i will call Michael Essien to come eat them"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"listen i will convince Zlatan that no-one wants him,i cannot allow my keenest sword swallower to leave"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp[/I]
Special K-"you sure yo can do that?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"of course,i mean i managed to convince the world that a fluff-boy i picked up illegally in Uruguay was a world-class footballer......ahh i miss you Chino"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"jesus christ what the fuck is wrong with you?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp[/I]
Cuntface-"it is my colon, it hangs out of my anus like Andrew Becks nuts in Balls-out jeans, my prostate is inflamed and my lower intestine bungees out of my arse whenever i move position. i cannot kneel down without feeling like i am going to follow through"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"and i cannot even tie my own laces unless i am sitting on the toilet"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"my god this is terrible,what can you do?and....em...how can i make sure it does not happen to me?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp[/I]
Cuntface-" well for starts steer clear of Paddy's grande sausage,consider him sold! but it will be ok, i am getting my anus stitched up next week and a baloon put up my penis, i will be just like i was when i was a 12 year old girl again"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"a what?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppPPPPPPPPPPPP
Cuntface-"uh-oh i think i actually did follow through there, go NOW"
Cuntface ushers Jose out of the room and runs to the loo, outside Jose looks sickened,he picks up the phone and dials speed-dial 1
Special K-"hello....Paddy....em.....listen i cannot make tonight....................no,no,i am constipated, there is a huge......no, i don't think you should spear it like a shish kebab............no, i .......yes why don't you fuck off to paris......yes i know there are hundreds of rent boys........PAddy,PAddy.."
Jose puts his phone away and looks angry,he shakes his head
Special K-"fuck me, i should have stayed in London and let Roman use that bottle on my asshole"
will cuntface manage to get to surgery before his whole intestinal system falls out of his anus? will Paddy Vieira's trail of rectal destruction even register in the gay haunts of Paris? and what is signore dildo doing these days? all this and more when Juventuz's favorite mini-series returns
Cuntface has called Jose "the special one" Mourinho into his office to discuss their progress in the summer market
Cuntface-"ahhhhhh Jose my old colon-coal-miner,how does this day find you?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"did you just fart?"
Cuntface-"emmm,me?no...it.it was my chair"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"you sure?it smells like anal juices,mixed with salt"]
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"ah i see you know the smell of our...select club"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"what?no,listen you need to help me get the players under control,the dont respect me, they don't suck my cock on demand and they call me Special K"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"Special K?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"yes,it means special cunt"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"but that makes no sense, cunt is not spelled with a K!"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"yes i know, but Zlatan is the brains of the bunch"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"ahh,i see........talk about the blind leading the blind"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"well i have told Zlatan and Maicon that if they don't stop calling me bad names i will call Michael Essien to come eat them"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"listen i will convince Zlatan that no-one wants him,i cannot allow my keenest sword swallower to leave"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp[/I]
Special K-"you sure yo can do that?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"of course,i mean i managed to convince the world that a fluff-boy i picked up illegally in Uruguay was a world-class footballer......ahh i miss you Chino"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"jesus christ what the fuck is wrong with you?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp[/I]
Cuntface-"it is my colon, it hangs out of my anus like Andrew Becks nuts in Balls-out jeans, my prostate is inflamed and my lower intestine bungees out of my arse whenever i move position. i cannot kneel down without feeling like i am going to follow through"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Cuntface-"and i cannot even tie my own laces unless i am sitting on the toilet"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"my god this is terrible,what can you do?and....em...how can i make sure it does not happen to me?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp[/I]
Cuntface-" well for starts steer clear of Paddy's grande sausage,consider him sold! but it will be ok, i am getting my anus stitched up next week and a baloon put up my penis, i will be just like i was when i was a 12 year old girl again"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppp
Special K-"a what?"
PPPPPPPArrrrrrrrrrrrppppppppppPPPPPPPPPPPP
Cuntface-"uh-oh i think i actually did follow through there, go NOW"
Cuntface ushers Jose out of the room and runs to the loo, outside Jose looks sickened,he picks up the phone and dials speed-dial 1
Special K-"hello....Paddy....em.....listen i cannot make tonight....................no,no,i am constipated, there is a huge......no, i don't think you should spear it like a shish kebab............no, i .......yes why don't you fuck off to paris......yes i know there are hundreds of rent boys........PAddy,PAddy.."
Jose puts his phone away and looks angry,he shakes his head
Special K-"fuck me, i should have stayed in London and let Roman use that bottle on my asshole"
will cuntface manage to get to surgery before his whole intestinal system falls out of his anus? will Paddy Vieira's trail of rectal destruction even register in the gay haunts of Paris? and what is signore dildo doing these days? all this and more when Juventuz's favorite mini-series returns
