Hello, I'm Hans, VFB's Webmaster and I'm reporting from Leogang, our summer camp. There are some negotiations in process, Jean-Claude Blanc, managing director is here to buy our Top defender, Serder Tasci.
Horst Heldt: Hello, Jean!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Hey, Horst, i really like your haircut!
Horst Heldt: Thank you! Are you Jean-Claude Van Damme's brother?
Jean-Claude Blanc: No, i'm Blanc, not Van Damme.
Horst Heldt: Then you must be Laurent's brother!
Jean-Claude Blanc: No.
Horst Heldt: Oh, ok. Tell me now, what do you want and where the hell is Secco?!
Jean-Claude Blanc: I'm here to buy Tasci from you. Secco have busy schedule these days. He's on Double Penetration party at Silvio's house.
Horst Heldt: Oh, been there, done that. Very nice party indeed! Why do you need Secco, you have Cannavaro!
Jean-Claude Blanc: He's old, we need good backup and starter for next season.
Horst Heldt: Cool. We want 12 million for him!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Liras?
Horst Heldt: Euros!
Jean-Claude Blanc: That's too much.
Horst Heldt: Buzz off then!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Wait, maybe we can have a deal.
Horst Heldt: Yeah? Talk to me.
Jean-Claude Blanc: I'll give you Zebina and 5m.
Horst Heldt: Zebina? I'm not an idiot!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Ok, that was really rude, I'm sorry. Maybe you want Poulsen.
Horst Heldt: Nein!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Wait, have to call Secco then. (pause...) Secco is brilliant! We have a new offer! Tiago and 5m euros!
Horst Heldt: Tiago? I heard he was offered to 100 clubs last week!
Jean-Claude Blanc: That's a lie! Wait, have to call Secco again (pause...) have a new proposal!
Horst Heldt: Ja?
Jean-Claude Blanc: Zebina, Molinaro and Tiago in package!
Horst Heldt: And money?
Jean-Claude Blanc: No money, they are very good players. Come on...
Horst Heldt: I dont like Zebina. I thought Molinaro is the name of Ranieri's dog.
Jean-Claude Blanc: Tiago, Zanetti, Zebina and Molinaro?!
Horst Heldt: For Tasci! No way! Nein!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Tiago, Zanetti, Zebina, Molinaro and Almiron!
Horst Heldt: Almiron is the guy with no hair? I dont want him.
Jean-Claude Blanc: Wait, have to call Secco again (pause...)We have a new, ultimate offer, there will be no more offers. Take it or leave it!
Horst Heldt: Talk!
Jean-Claude Blanc: Tiago, Molinaro and 3m!
Horst Heldt: I want Tiago, Molinaro, 1m and the name of Alessio's hair-dresser and Coboli's stylist.
Jean-Claude Blanc: Done!