Tom,
I really want to talk to you logically. So, I will talk about the Palestinian issue only because I may not have the whole facts about Iraqi issue because simply I didn't live it...
Now, assume you're a Palestinian father sitting in your house where Israeli helicopters came and gifted some missiles to your kids... What will your reaction be?? You may say that he can use diplomatic ways to solve it, but Israelis don't want to talk to anybody and even today they said that te whole Paletinian authority is isolated...
So, he may go to UN... But he goes on a regular basis there and has a balance of over than 30 decisions that weren't implemented since 60 years, and more than another 15 decisions that were met by American veto...
So, his options are limited now...
He can call his Arab brothers for help... But what if his brothers can't help??
He has nothing but to fight by his own bare hands...
You tell me that he may use a gun...
But using a gun against F16 isn't a satisfying reaction, and he may be captured carrying his gun before reaching his target and then his whole village will be punished severely...
So, he has to use a way that he won't be known for a while in order to avoid punishing his family, and he has to find a solution that makes big harms in the opponent's side...
So, he doesn't have anything but his flesh, and so, he goes to the closest camp and bomb himself in order to make the lives of his relatives better after he couldn't do anything to protect his own kids...
That's it, mate...