My best friend worked for a number of years for Intel. He got me into their HQ to hear a talk by Stephen Hawking. The Hawk said that if intelligent life visited us before, we would know by now. Because we would all be enslaved and they would be sucking our innards through straws as a garnish for their space cocktails, knowing how humanity has treated every other new tribe or form of intelligence that it has encountered.
Breathing is a beyootch. I think with global warming, a lot of people are hoping it will limit the evolutionary size of Americans. Because there ain't no stopping us from reaching dinosaur proportions at this rate.
"Speak to someone". OK, boomer.
I still primarily use a credit union account at a space/defense lab I worked at in Maryland some 35 years ago. Never had a problem not being within 3000 miles of a branch since then.
You can always start with the minimum investments and try it out. keep the risk profile low.
But as someone else pointed out, why are you hoarding tons of Scrooge McDuck-levels of money in cash? You're not an Argentinian.
Too late for your generation, bruh. What retirement?