I realized that I had been holding back from upgrading for too long, still on 11.10 or whatever it was. It wasn't just a whim, I had a full working stack of software that I was using for work daily, so I was unwilling to mess with it.
But I realized that even though Unity is kind of a disaster (at least in my view), Ubuntu as an umbrella project has just as much vitality as ever. Kubuntu gives you a KDE desktop that is waaaaaay better than the early KDE4 releases. The only wrinkle there is you have to configure a lot of stuff to get it working your way.
Whereas running cinnamon brings you closer to the end result of the big integration effort that Ubuntu keeps doing, like really nice default fonts and generally a good experience. The only real problem is Unity itself.