Juvenile joke thread (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Martin
- Start date
- Status
A missionary is sent into deepest darkest depths of Africa to
live with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching
them to read, write and good Christian values. One thing he
particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin. "Thou must not
commit adultery or fornication!"
One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a
white baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his
people to talk with the missionary.
"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black
woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man
who has ever set foot in our village. Anyone can see what's
going on here!"
The missionary replies, "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken.
What you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an
albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep,
and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on
occasion."
The chief pauses for a moment then says, "Tell you what, you
don't say anything about the sheep, I won't say anything about
the white baby."
live with a tribe. He spends years with the people, teaching
them to read, write and good Christian values. One thing he
particularly stresses is the evil of sexual sin. "Thou must not
commit adultery or fornication!"
One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a
white baby. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his
people to talk with the missionary.
"You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin, yet here a black
woman gives birth to a white child. You are the only white man
who has ever set foot in our village. Anyone can see what's
going on here!"
The missionary replies, "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken.
What you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an
albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep,
and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on
occasion."
The chief pauses for a moment then says, "Tell you what, you
don't say anything about the sheep, I won't say anything about
the white baby."
Italy has funded a study to determine why the head of a mans p*nis is
> wider than its shaft. The study took 2 years and cost over 180,000,000
> Lira.The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a
mans
> p*nis is wider was to provide the man more pleasure during sex.
> After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own
> study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the
> Italian study were incorrect. After three years of research and a cost of
> 50,000,000 francs they concluded that the head of a mans p*nis is wider
> than the shaft is to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.
> When the results of the French study were released, The Scottish decided
> to conduct their own study.The Scottish didn't really trust the Italian
or
> French studies. So after nearly 3 days of intensive research and at a
cost
> of nearly 36 quid, the Scottish study came to the final conclusion, that
> the reason that the head of a mans p*nis is wider
> than its shaft is to prevent your hand flying off and hitting you in the
> forehead!!!
> wider than its shaft. The study took 2 years and cost over 180,000,000
> Lira.The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a
mans
> p*nis is wider was to provide the man more pleasure during sex.
> After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own
> study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the
> Italian study were incorrect. After three years of research and a cost of
> 50,000,000 francs they concluded that the head of a mans p*nis is wider
> than the shaft is to provide the women with more pleasure during sex.
> When the results of the French study were released, The Scottish decided
> to conduct their own study.The Scottish didn't really trust the Italian
or
> French studies. So after nearly 3 days of intensive research and at a
cost
> of nearly 36 quid, the Scottish study came to the final conclusion, that
> the reason that the head of a mans p*nis is wider
> than its shaft is to prevent your hand flying off and hitting you in the
> forehead!!!
Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
> > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> > final exam. "Now class, won't tolerate any excuses for
> > you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> > nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
> > illness, or a death in your immediate family but
> > that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
> > A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
> > hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
> > I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
> > exhaustion?"
> > The entire class does its best to stifle their
> > laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
> > teacher smiles sympathetically the student, shakes her
> > head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
> > write the exam with your other hand"!!
> >
> > A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> > final exam. "Now class, won't tolerate any excuses for
> > you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> > nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
> > illness, or a death in your immediate family but
> > that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
> > A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his
> > hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
> > I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
> > exhaustion?"
> > The entire class does its best to stifle their
> > laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the
> > teacher smiles sympathetically the student, shakes her
> > head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
> > write the exam with your other hand"!!
> >
Q: What's somewhat brown and often found in children's underpants?
A: Michael Jackson's hand
Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after three periods
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his butt
A: Michael Jackson's hand
Q: What's the difference between Courtney Love and Wayne Gretzky?
A: Wayne takes a shower after three periods
Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his butt
In the beginning, the plan for a divine human design was painstakingly implemented.
"How many nerve endings will I put in her hands?" asked St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, O Mighty One."
"Then we shall do the same for the woman," The Lord replied.
"How many nerve endings should we put in her genitals, O Mightiest?"
"How many did we put in Adam?"
"Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One."
"Oh yeah, now I remember. We wanted Adam to have a little fun procreating, didn't we? Do the same for woman."
"Yes, O Great Lord."
"Wait! Hold it, Pete, give her ten thousand, it'll be a hoot to hear her scream out my name..."
"How many nerve endings will I put in her hands?" asked St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, O Mighty One."
"Then we shall do the same for the woman," The Lord replied.
"How many nerve endings should we put in her genitals, O Mightiest?"
"How many did we put in Adam?"
"Four hundred and twenty, O Mighty One."
"Oh yeah, now I remember. We wanted Adam to have a little fun procreating, didn't we? Do the same for woman."
"Yes, O Great Lord."
"Wait! Hold it, Pete, give her ten thousand, it'll be a hoot to hear her scream out my name..."
- Status