All right, how about this one. It's quite popular though - so you may have already heard it.
There's a man on a nude-beach, enjoying the sun when suddenly, a little girl comes around the corner. The man quickly takes his newspaper and puts it over his genital area.
The girl comes up to him and asks: "What have you got under that newspaper, sir?"
"Erm ... a bird!" Replies the guy and the little girl leaves again.
The man falls asleep and wakes up several hours later, only to find he has a HUGE pain in his crotch.
He gets to a hospital and the doctor takes a look.
- "What the hell have you done? I've never seen anything like this before!"
- "I dunno", says the guy. "All I know is that I fell asleep on the beach and when I woke up, it hurt!"
- "Did anyone see you?"
- "Just a little girl", replies the man.
- "I'll ask a police-officer to take a look then", says the doctor.
Later, a policeman finds the girl on the beach and asks her if she has seen a man this afternoon.
"Yes, I did", says the little girl.
"What happened?", asked the officer.
"Well, the man had a bird under his newspaper so when he fell asleep, I returned to take a look at it. So I petted it, but it spat on me so I broke it's neck, crushed it's eggs and set it's nest on fire!"