I am a terrible person because.... (15 Viewers)

[Christina]

I read somewhere Indians are Caucasian. Such BS.



You have a lot of stories about trannies.



There's this time that I still feel bad about. It was during gym class in high school. We were split into teams and playing basketball and suddenly the teachers drop this mentally challenged girl in there. Whatever. Whenever the opposing team would pass to her we'd all chill and wait for her to shoot. Anyways after a while I'm all warmed up and start to get into the game with a couple other guys. I'm sprinting, doing some quick turns and using my insane reflexes to defend. I'm running to cover this guy and the ball is passed to that girl who apparently is right behind me, but I think it's someone else and as she's about to shoot the ball I do this spin move and Dennis Rodman the shit out of her. The ball makes a loud as noise as I SMACK that shit out of her hand and it bounces on the floor hard as shit. She just stays there looking retarded, the whole gym goes quiet and the asshole teacher blows his whistle and gestures me towards him all mad. I apologize to the girl feeling like the biggest dickhead in the world and walk towards the teachers who start making me feel like shit. I didn't fucking know she was behind me, it was an instinctual save and no one got hurt, no need to freak the fuck out.

Just the way you described this was funny enough in itself.

oooh I just remembered something from a few weeks back...
I was getting a coffee from Starbucks before my class so of course I had my backpack and such. I was standing near the counter where they put out drinks and I was just putting my wallet into my bag as this woman proceeded to walk behind me without saying excuse me or watch out or anything to warn me that she was holding two cups of (uncovered) hot tea. Not knowing she was there, I proceeded to swing my bag around my back, knocking both cups of tea out of her hands and spilling the tea all over her hands and chest/stomach. She cursed me for about 2 minutes until I got my coffee and ran away. My bad.

 

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[Bianconero_Aus]

I sold poison milk to school children.

 

[ALC]

Just the way you described this was funny enough in itself.

oooh I just remembered something from a few weeks back...
I was getting a coffee from Starbucks before my class so of course I had my backpack and such. I was standing near the counter where they put out drinks and I was just putting my wallet into my bag as this woman proceeded to walk behind me without saying excuse me or watch out or anything to warn me that she was holding two cups of (uncovered) hot tea. Not knowing she was there, I proceeded to swing my bag around my back, knocking both cups of tea out of her hands and spilling the tea all over her hands and chest/stomach. She cursed me for about 2 minutes until I got my coffee and ran away. My bad.

Ouch lol. That's something that would happen to me too, I swing my backpack around like it's a helicopter blade. She shouldn't have sneaked up on you like that though.

I sold poison milk to school children.

The thread you're looking for is called "I am a murderer because..."

 

[Bianconero_Aus]

I accidentally drove into a one way lane at a parking lot and this old man walking by my car told me off and I was in a really shitty mood that day so I screamed back "FUCK OFF YOU MISERABLE OLD PIECE OF SHIT"...dude was an asshole, but still he was like 85 years old and I was clearly in the wrong. I felt like a bit of a cunt afterwards.

 

[IliveForJuve]

Forgave my girlfriend after she sucked someone else's dick.

 

[da_ledgeaun]

Forgave my girlfriend after she sucked someone else's dick.

Duuuuudddeee Come on

 

[Fake Melo]

I remember a friend of friends of mine passed away and we went to his house for mourning. There was a guy crying, maybe his dad or uncle or something.. It sounded like he was laughing so I almost laughed my ass off, I kept it in though. Luckily no one saw me. Fucking hell I felt terrible.

 

[Fake Melo]

This always happens to me,

Someone dies in my village in Lebanon, we go there to pay our condolences and respect, I meet with my cousins or relatives and maaaan, we start laughing for no fucking reason. There's this silence, everyone's crying, we start staring at each-others, we remember something silly and lame and bloom my body starts shaking before I turn my head down and start laughing like an idiot.

I hate myself after-wards.

Just saw this. It's sick how random it happens. Fuck I feel terrible afterwards.

 

[Fint]

Oh, it means a good time. Ok. Nice usage.

You're a gas man, and your mother was a cylinder - popular saying around these parts

Just the way you described this was funny enough in itself.

oooh I just remembered something from a few weeks back...
I was getting a coffee from Starbucks before my class so of course I had my backpack and such. I was standing near the counter where they put out drinks and I was just putting my wallet into my bag as this woman proceeded to walk behind me without saying excuse me or watch out or anything to warn me that she was holding two cups of (uncovered) hot tea. Not knowing she was there, I proceeded to swing my bag around my back, knocking both cups of tea out of her hands and spilling the tea all over her hands and chest/stomach. She cursed me for about 2 minutes until I got my coffee and ran away. My bad.

you should have said 'personal space biatch' and then casually strolled outta there.

My friends and I have this terrible habit of leaving number twos in each other's bathrooms without flushing, or doing the reverse-cowgirl when squeezing one out.

 

[Sheik Yerbouti]

You're a gas man, and your mother was a cylinder - popular saying around these parts

Don't know about my mom, but considering how much I'm farting right now, I'm definitely a gas man!

 

[Fake Melo]

I laughed at my father's funeral.

There was a video of his ashes being spread at sea by the Navy, and it was prefaced by this person saying "It was such a beautiful day, with a bright shining sun and a light, warm wind" and when the video started it was like a gale was blowing! People were having to hold onto the railings of the ship and hold their hats on. I spent the entire rest of the service giggling.

 

[Fake Melo]

I have a really bad one..

This was like back in 5th or 6th grade. This girl in my class didn't show up to school for like a week and it turned out it was because someone jumped her and there was an attempted rape. Our teacher asked all to be understanding (everyone knew and it was in the papers) and not press/ask her sensitive questions. Thing is this chick was somewhat of a bitch and enjoyed pushing peoples buttons. Obviosuly I wasn't gonna be the one to say something stupid...but then a few days after she came back to school she said something mean (can't remember what) and I said something like "well...at least no one tried to rape me". There was pin drop silence followed by nasty looks in my direction from the people around me (luckily we were split into groups so not everyone heard it) Oh boy, as soon as it left my mouth I felt like shit.

That's fucked up

Did he actually rape her or just an attempt? What did she say? Did you apologise?

 

[Zé Tahir]

That's fucked up

Did he actually rape her or just an attempt? What did she say? Did you apologise?

Attempt. Nothing, she was dumbfounded. I can't remember...I think so?

 

[Salvo]

Forgave my girlfriend after she sucked someone else's dick.

Come on maaannn................


And may I add, I love this thread.

 

[Fake Melo]

Forgave my girlfriend after she sucked someone else's dick.

I am sure she'd forgive you if you sucked someone else's dick as well

 

[WΏΏdy?]

Im a terrible person because

* End up joking and laughing at funerals (dont feel bad about this anymore now that i see everyone is an ass sometimes).
* I had a couple of 'Giant snakeheads' back in university and when my ex moved out i fed all her goldies to them, including her hamster.
* During the internship days i was usually exhausted from work and study. When i came back home all i needed was peacefull sleep. I moved into this community and the family living in front of my appartment had a cat. I dont know how but she used to end up climbing my balcony and get stranded there since she could not get out. Every morning i came back from work and fell on my bed only to be woken up by these 3 little kids wanting their cat back. Finally i took my friend's dog and left him in the gallery for a couple of nights. The kitten disappeared. Like it was never seen again in the community. Pretty sure domestic dogs dont kill cats but i dont know what happened.
* There are these guys who are not your friends,but just friendly/you know them. But if they see you sitting with a bottle of coke or some fries they would ALWAYS come and take a sip/bite. Since this was routine i mixed some unimaginable things with drinks since i knew free food mafia was around.

 

[WΏΏdy?]

Forgave my girlfriend after she sucked someone else's dick.

That's weak

I am sure she'd forgive you if you sucked someone else's dick as well

 

[Martin]

No, Woody. You're a terrible person cause you stage fake funerals

 

[WΏΏdy?]

No, Woody. You're a terrible person cause you stage fake funerals

Nah, that's just drilling your mates in the butt coz that's what friends do If u include that in the list then there are countless times when i have slashed tyres on a long road trip,put sugar in the fuel tanks, left my friends almost nude and penny less, and what not.

It's all good when you are friends though they do it right back.

 

[blondu]

i'm a terrible person because i threw a x-mas tree out of the window in the nye

i'm a terrible person because i can't cry at funerals..i saw both my grandfathers dead and i couldn't find it in me to cry