I hope someone defecates and pisses on Dzeko after clobbering him hard with a baseball bat. After they piss and shit on him, they should put him in a tightly sealed garbage bag (where he rightfully belongs), throw him into a river, and he ends up washing up in a dump somewhere 2-3 days later, still alive and kicking, but so discombobulated and disoriented that he vows to never set foot on a football pitch again, thus resulting in fans the world over rejoicing as they never have to witness his horrific performances again.