What's the difference between stress, tension, and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant.
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
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Teacher: "Do you know the importance of a period?"
Kid: "Yeah, once my sister said she had missed one, and my mom
fainted, dad had a heart attack, & our neighbor ran away."
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A woman asks a man who is traveling with six children, "Are all
these kids yours?"
The man replies sarcastically, "No, I work in a condom factory and
these are customer complaints."
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A young boy asks his dad, "What is the difference between confi-
dent and confidential?"
Dad says, "You are my son. I'm confident about that. Your friend
over there is also my son. That's confidential!"