Classy bit over here (the official Inter.. i mean joke thread) (8 Viewers)

[X Æ A-12]

ok so your a referee at the derby d' italia its over (juve won 6-0 dp and neddy got hat tricks) and like usual inter need someone to blame for losing the match so they start to attack you. but they didnt know that you still have your trusty revolver so you put a bullet between zlatan's eyes and are faced with 10 more angry players advancing on you and only 5 more bullets! its inters 07-08 squad so your choices to shoot are crespo, milito, abbondanzieri, riquelme, messi, ayala, burdisso, zanetti, forlan, and veron. so what do you do?









put ur last 5 bullets into the back of ibra's head to make sure he's dead. the argies are all just gonna run away anyway

 

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[rounder]

Time for yo mama jokes .....
Yo mama's so poor, when I walked in and asked "Whats for Dinner?" She pulled out a shotgun and said "Next person that moves!"
Yo mama went inside In N Out and never came back out.

Yo mama's so hairy, she makes King Kong jeolous.

Yo mama's such a hore even her pimp doesn't know she's not a hooker.

Yo mama's hair is so nappy she cleans the pots by wearing them as a hat and spinning.

Yo mama so skinny she swallowed a peanut m&m and she looked six months pregnant!

Yo mama's so poor I walked in and asked "Wats for supper?" She jumped on the table spread her legs and said "Crabs!"

Yo mama's so poor I walked in and moved a skate board and she said "Stop moving the couch!"

Yo mama's so skinny she took up ballet and people thought they saw a black hole.

Yo mama's so poor all she had was a coupon for the 99 cent store!

Yo mama's so fat, she makes a sumo wrestler look like Lindsey Lohan.

Yo mama's so short, she drowned in a puddle.

 

[rounder]

Yo mammas so fat when she stepped on the scale she saw her phone number

Your momma so stupid she would use a spiked mace as a pillow


Yo Mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale it said: TO BE CONTINUED

Yo momma so stupid she took a fish out of the water because she thought it was drowning.

Yo momma so ugly she looked in the mirror and her reflection laughed.

 

[rounder]

Yo mama is so fat, she has more rolls then the Michelin man.

Yo mama is so fat, when she went to Japan, everone thought she was godzilla.

Yo mama is so fat, people need a map just to go around her.

Your mom is so fat, when she has sex, she has to give directions.

Yo mama's so fat, her fingers have cottage cheese.

Yo mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it!

Yo mama's so fat. when she backs up all you here is meep, meep, meep.

Your mama's so fat she sleeps in the garage and parks the van on her bed.

Yo mama's so fat, Cal Tech had to adjust their sensors so they didn't detect an earthquake everytime she got off the couch.

Yo mama so fat, when you slap her leg you can ride the wave.

Yo mama so fat she walked into a store wearing high heels and she came out wearing flip flops!!

Yo mamma so fat she has stretch marks on her toes!

 

[rounder]

Yo mamma's so fat her feet never get wet when she takes a shower!

Yo mamma's so fat she is the only person I know that can play hide and go seek with her bellybutton!

Yo momma's so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo momma's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.

Yo momma's so fat, the National Weather Service names each one of her farts.

Yo momma's so fat when she walked down the beach the whales popped up and started singin "We are family."

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she’s backing up

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"

 

[X Æ A-12]

your mommas so fat the day she skipped lunch the stock market crashed!
your mommas so dumb she stared at an orange juice carton for 2 hours because it said concentrate

 

[rounder]

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama's is so fat that when god said," Let there be light," he told her to move her fat ass out the way first!

Yo mama's so fat, she put on a Malcolm X T-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a rainbow and skittles came out.

Yo mama's so fat that the last time she saw 90210 was on the scales

Yo' mama's so fat, she wears two watches -- one for each time zone!

Yo mama's so fat she needs one barstool for each butt cheek

Yo mama's so fat, she got Baptized at sea world.

Yo mama's so fat, God couldn't even lift her spirits!

 

[rounder]

Yo mama's so big, her belly button has an echo.

Yo mama's so fat, she held up her stockings with hula-hoops.


Yo mama's so fat, she wore a red sweater and all of the kids pointed at her and said, "Kool-Aid Man!!!!".

Yo mama's so fat, she went outside in a yellow raincoat and people yelled taxi.


Yo mama's so fat, when she wears her "B.V.D."s they spell boulevard!

Yo mama's so fat, that she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.

Yo mama's so fat that this town really ISN'T big enough for the both of us

Yo mama's so fat, she has smaller fat women orbiting around her!

Yo mama's so fat, Christopher Columbus claimed her as the new world.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu

Yo mama's so fat, after she gets through turning around, they throw her a welcome back party

Yo mama's so fat, she don't take pictures, she takes posters

Yo mama's belt size is the titled the "Equator"

 

[rounder]

Yo mama's so fat, her baby pictures were taken by satellite

Yo mama's so fat, she has to get out of the car to change radio stations.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made it four quarters.

Yo mama's so big, that they had to change "One size fits all" to "One size fits most"

Yo mama's so fat, after she got off the carousel, the horse limped for a week.

Yo mama's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: "Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo mama's so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo mama's so fat, even her shadow has stretch marks.

Yo mama's so fat, her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."

Yo mama's so fat, she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagen.

Yo mama's so fat, she measures 36 24 36, and the other arm is just as big

Yo mama's so FAT When She Stepped On A Scale It Said Get Tha Fuck Off

Yo mama's so fat, the only thing she can fit into at the clothing store is the dressing rooms.

 

[X Æ A-12]

i love ur jokes juve revolution keep em coming

 

[rounder]

i love ur jokes juve revolution keep em coming

thx . i will

 

[X Æ A-12]

why did burdisso cross the road?
because he was trying to act all tough and talk crap until he saw navarro

 

[rounder]

Yo mama's so stupid she eats her food stamps.

Yo mama's so stupid she pisses in the sink to save on the gas bill.

Yo mamma's so stupid she talked into a mailbox and when the postman came and asked her what she was doing and she said she was sending a voicemail.

Yo mamma so stupid she sat on the tv and watched the couch!

Yo momma's so dumb her friend asked her to go buy a color TV and she asked "What color?"

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!

Yo mama's so stupid she took a spoon to the super bowl

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her to take out the trash and she moved!

Yo mama's so dumb, that the Psychic Friends only charge her half price to read her mind!

Yo' mama so stupid, she tried to steal a free sample!

 

[rounder]

Yo mama's so stupid, she had your brother thrown in rehab, cause he was Hooked on Phonics

Yo mama's so stupid that she thought that babies came from the infantry

Yo mama's so stupid she sold her car to buy petrol.

Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

Yo mama's so stupid she drove all the way to New Mexico with the handbrake on.

Yo moma so stupid someone said ''if you were locked in a car and you had nothing but a hammer how would you get out" and she said "bust the window".

 

[Kosta]

You are on a streak, my man. Three last pages is all you.

 

[rounder]

Ok time for some more .

Yo mama is so fat and hairy she can't get her hair cut at a beauty salon. She has to hire a landscaping crew and lay in the yard while they go at her with the weed whackers.

Yo mama so hairy and short, that when she walked into Pet Smart with her husband the manager said, "Thanks for bringing our missing dog back!"

Yo mama so hairy, she has afros on her lips!

Yo mama's so hairy, she could be sold as a Chia pet.

 

[rounder]

Yo mama's so old, she farts dust.

Yo mama's is so old, when god said let there be light she flipped the switch.

Yo mama's so old, she got her drivers license on a dinosaur

Yo mama's so old, she owes Jesus 3 bucks

your mama is so old I found a fossil of her hair when I went to Death Valley in search of dinosaurs.

 

[rounder]

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read: "Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband." When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows: "Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

 

[rounder]

Two engaged couples die and go to heaven. They asks St. Peter, "Is there such thing as marrige in heaven?" Peter tells them he'll get back to them! 10 years later they finally get married but realize they weren't meant for each other. So they ask St. Peter if there is such a thing as divorce in heaven? Peter responds, "It took us 10 years to get a priest up here how long do you think it will take us to get a lawyer!"

 

[rounder]

What’s the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.


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