Bill Gates picks his own punishment
Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This
will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a
big liar all your life. Now, since you've got me in a good mood, I'll be
generous and give you a choice of three places in which you'll be locked
up forever.
Satan takes Bill to a huge lake of fire in which millions of poor souls
are tormented and tortured. He then takes him to a massive coliseum
where thousands of people are chased about and devoured by starving
lions. Finally, he takes Bill to a tiny room in which there is a bottle
of the finest wine sitting on a table. To Bill's delight, he sees a PC
in the corner. Without hesitation, Bill says "I'll take this option."
"Fine," says Satan, allowing Bill to enter the room. Satan locks the
room after Bill.
As he turns around, he bumps into Lucifer. "That was Bill Gates!" cried
Lucifer. "Why did you give him the best place of all!"
"That's what everyone thinks" snickered Satan.
"The bottle has a hole in it!"
"What about the PC?"
"It's got Windows 95!" laughed Satan.
"And it's missing three keys,"
"Which three?"
"Control, Alt and Delete."
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A few for a start....
? What does a hurricane say to a coconut tree?
! Hold your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job.
? What does a ghost say to a bee?
! Boobie.
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- When Chuck does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the ground down.
- Chuck always sleeps with the light on. Not because he's afraid of the dark. The dark is afraid of him.
.... there were a lot more but I can't remember them now....
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? Which are the 3 most difficult years for a blondie?
! First grade, primary school.
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i'll add a few more these days...