Classy bit over here (the official Inter.. i mean joke thread) (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Martin
- Start date
++ [ originally posted by Weed Alien ] ++
whoa Ally, chill..it's just a JOKE
WHY IS EVERY1 so ANGRY AT EVERY1!!! WHY?!?!?!?!......ALLY IT"S JUST A JOKE..IT'S JUST A JOKE! DONT BE SO HISTERICAL!!..........
...:sob: wwwhhhhyyy...WHHHYYY?!?!!? :sob: :sob: why cant everybody just be happy?!!? :sob:
...where are my pills?...i need my pills...
whoa Ally, chill..it's just a JOKE
WHY IS EVERY1 so ANGRY AT EVERY1!!! WHY?!?!?!?!......ALLY IT"S JUST A JOKE..IT'S JUST A JOKE! DONT BE SO HISTERICAL!!.............:sob: wwwhhhhyyy...WHHHYYY?!?!!? :sob: :sob: why cant everybody just be happy?!!? :sob:
...where are my pills?...i need my pills...
you need a doobie my man
btw how do u do it?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road??
A:
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador to the UN)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
OSAMA BIN LADEN
If the chicken crossed the road, it is the will of Allah. We will bomb
anyone who tries to prevent it crossing the road.
MAHATHIR MOHAMAD
What was wrong in the chicken crossing the road? The West think they can decide the way the chicken should cross. Well, this means I can't retire yet.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
BILL GATES
I have just released MS eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of MS eChicken 2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
A:
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of
the chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraqi ambassador to the UN)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
OSAMA BIN LADEN
If the chicken crossed the road, it is the will of Allah. We will bomb
anyone who tries to prevent it crossing the road.
MAHATHIR MOHAMAD
What was wrong in the chicken crossing the road? The West think they can decide the way the chicken should cross. Well, this means I can't retire yet.
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
BILL GATES
I have just released MS eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of MS eChicken 2003.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
++ [ originally posted by Weed Alien ] ++
whoa Ally, chill..it's just a JOKE WHY IS EVERY1 so ANGRY AT EVERY1!!! WHY?!?!?!?!......ALLY IT"S JUST A JOKE..IT'S JUST A JOKE! DONT BE SO HISTERICAL!!..........
...:sob: wwwhhhhyyy...WHHHYYY?!?!!? :sob: :sob: why cant everybody just be happy?!!? :sob:
...where are my pills?...i need my pills...
whoa Ally, chill..it's just a JOKE
WHY IS EVERY1 so ANGRY AT EVERY1!!! WHY?!?!?!?!......ALLY IT"S JUST A JOKE..IT'S JUST A JOKE! DONT BE SO HISTERICAL!!.............:sob: wwwhhhhyyy...WHHHYYY?!?!!? :sob: :sob: why cant everybody just be happy?!!? :sob:
...where are my pills?...i need my pills...
Ever said something and wished you'd kept your mouth shut!!!
read on!
> >I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
>bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a
>mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few
>shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one
>with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called
>about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a
>closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to
>discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in
>the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!
> >
> >Name Withheld (go figure)
> >
> >
> >
> >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
>was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
>for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
>gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
>Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
>with men's balls." >
> >
> >Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI
> >
> >
> >
> >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
>variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
>behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
>just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
>the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
>my sister has never let me forget.
read on!
> >I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the
>bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a
>mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few
>shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one
>with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called
>about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a
>closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to
>discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in
>the mirror - wearing nothing but a camera!
> >
> >Name Withheld (go figure)
> >
> >
> >
> >I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I
>was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing
>for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking
>gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
>Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing
>with men's balls." >
> >
> >Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI
> >
> >
> >
> >My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
>variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
>behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
>just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically,
>the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day,
>my sister has never let me forget.
And another one!
> >Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
>three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
>was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
>lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I
>checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
>realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked
>him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord,
>that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with
>me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
>because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time,
>"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked
>down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE
>MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on
>their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An
>old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
>they'd ever had!
> >Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
>three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I
>was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
>lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
>While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I
>checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I
>realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked
>him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord,
>that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with
>me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
>"No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
>because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time,
>"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked
>down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE
>MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on
>their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An
>old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh
>they'd ever had!
