Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
Co worker friends and friends arent the same thing. Especially if you dont ever hang out outside work except occasional after work drinks. Doesnt matter how much heart to hearts you have at work, and genuinely friendly it is between you all. You generally lose said friendship as soon as someone changes job.


Some are worth the effort of trying to maintain afterwards tho.
Honestly that girl is the only friendship that seems worth maintaining, but it is still up for evaluation really. I know one thing though, in my field it doesn't hurt to have a friend you can trust.

But the other coworkers I considered friends? No, they're all gone. And honestly I do get it. I did the same in their position before.

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Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
How can you easily cast aside someone that you're been working so closely with then? That's even more illogical to me. Maybe it's just a culture thing I guess.
To me, as a person, it makes no sense whatsoever. And the amount of hurt and grief that firm has created over the years is insane. But it is indeed their work culture, they also have zero conflict resolution abilities.

For example a couple of years ago two coworkers had a fight about who got which desk. The two managing partners told them they got to decide between themselves who had to leave the firm and left it up to them to fight it out.

I also remember another coworker who asked for a slight increase in salary, because she could earn almost twice as much somewhere else. They said they wouldn't do it and told her to leave. Didn't even consider her offer. And this was someone who worked with them very closely for four years.

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AFL_ITALIA

MAGISTERIAL
Jun 17, 2011
31,813
To me, as a person, it makes no sense whatsoever. And the amount of hurt and grief that firm has created over the years is insane. But it is indeed their work culture, they also have zero conflict resolution abilities.

For example a couple of years ago two coworkers had a fight about who got which desk. The two managing partners told them they got to decide between themselves who had to leave the firm and left it up to them to fight it out.

I also remember another coworker who asked for a slight increase in salary, because she could earn almost twice as much somewhere else. They said they wouldn't do it and told her to leave. Didn't even consider her offer. And this was someone who worked with them very closely for four years.

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:lol: Yeah, fuck that place then. I'd be looking to burn that place to the ground. Don't be hurt by it, use it as fuel for personal growth since clearly you've already experienced substantial monetary growth. I'm surprised you've stayed there so long to be honest.

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law is a cutthroat industry.
Moreso than finance though?
 

Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
law is a cutthroat industry.
The thing is firms demand absolute loyalty from their lawyers, but have zero qualms about firing them over whatever petty bullshit there is going on.

Which in turn leads to lawyers always having escape plans and negotiating with other firms, because you never know what might happen.

And you get all of this anxiety on top of dealing with actual cases.

Basically everyone is your enemy.

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Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
Yeah, fuck that place then. I'd be looking to burn that place to the ground. Don't be hurt by it, use it as fuel for personal growth since clearly you've already experienced substantial monetary growth. I'm surprised you've stayed there so long to be honest.

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Moreso than finance though?
I was just talking about this with another former coworker. When you're working there, you don't realise how fucked up everything is. So you just keep going along with it.

But when you get out, man, you think where the fuck did these past years go and why did I invest them in these people?

You are right though it is good fuel for personal growth. In my case it's building an armor. Either you get destroyed and leave the law or you toughen up and go get what is yours.

Btw this sort of shit is why most people do end up quitting. I'd say the vast majority of people who start as lawyers in Belgium drop out after three to four years.

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X Æ A-12

Senior Member
Contributor
Sep 4, 2006
87,971
The thing is firms demand absolute loyalty from their lawyers, but have zero qualms about firing them over whatever petty bullshit there is going on.

Which in turn leads to lawyers always having escape plans and negotiating with other firms, because you never know what might happen.

And you get all of this anxiety on top of dealing with actual cases.

Basically everyone is your enemy.

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sounds like a rewarding career path.
 

Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,665
:lol: Yeah, fuck that place then. I'd be looking to burn that place to the ground. Don't be hurt by it, use it as fuel for personal growth since clearly you've already experienced substantial monetary growth. I'm surprised you've stayed there so long to be honest.

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Moreso than finance though?
Probably very similar.
 

AFL_ITALIA

MAGISTERIAL
Jun 17, 2011
31,813
I was just talking about this with another former coworker. When you're working there, you don't realise how fucked up everything is. So you just keep going along with it.

But when you get out, man, you think where the fuck did these past years go and why did I invest them in these people?

You are right though it is good fuel for personal growth. In my case it's building an armor. Either you get destroyed and leave the law or you toughen up and go get what is yours.

Btw this sort of shit is why most people do end up quitting. I'd say the vast majority of people who start as lawyers in Belgium drop out after three to four years.

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Sounds like you're on the right path now, in any case. Fuck them up in court next time :agree:

I used to work a finance/support role on the "bad" side of worker's comp. Goddamn, the amount of bullshit there...
 

Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
sounds like a rewarding career path.
Why do you think most tv shows about lawyers are actually about power struggles within the own firm?

I was very naive up to a few months ago. I truly believed that the real world was not like that and you just had to do your job. Couldn't have been more wrong really.

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Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
Sounds like you're on the right path now, in any case. Fuck them up in court next time :agree:

I used to work a finance/support role on the "bad" side of worker's comp. Goddamn, the amount of bullshit there...
I have to admit that I have been hurt incredibly by this experience. It's not in my nature to fuck over people I have known for years. But apparently others do it without hesitation. In a sense that means I have a real disadvantage in my own field and it is a difficult world for me to navigate.

I never realised quite how much you have to be like Harvey Specter to do this job.

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Wittl

Senior Member
Contributor
Feb 21, 2017
11,311
Co worker friends and friends arent the same thing. Especially if you dont ever hang out outside work except occasional after work drinks. Doesnt matter how much heart to hearts you have at work, and genuinely friendly it is between you all. You generally lose said friendship as soon as someone changes job.


Some are worth the effort of trying to maintain afterwards tho.
:agree:

For example I made some very close friends in my company. With two of them I even go to festivals with camping for 3-4 days, go skiing in winter, play cards or go to raves on weekend. I've seen them (and they me) in the absolute worst conditions, lol.

And one of them will change the job in january. We've talked a lot about it before she resigned. I could be that honest to tell her that she should leave et cetera, because it was the best for her, even tho it's a pity not to hang out anymore during coffebreak and lunchtime.

But I think the relationship to them is quite special considering they're coworkers.
 

IliveForJuve

Burn this club
Jan 17, 2011
18,933
I just got a contract with a Fortune 500 oil company.

The industry is suffering right now and that helped me get the contract. The company is on resource optimization mode so they decided on the cheap option for this service.

Now just gotta dust off my contract analysis skills.

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I have to admit that I have been hurt incredibly by this experience. It's not in my nature to fuck over people I have known for years. But apparently others do it without hesitation. In a sense that means I have a real disadvantage in my own field and it is a difficult world for me to navigate.

I never realised quite how much you have to be like Harvey Specter to do this job.

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Law, business, finance, it's all the same when you get really competitive.

I've had competitors try to take down my Facebook page :howler: fuckin pathetic.
 

Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,346
I've had competitors try to take down my Facebook page :howler: fuckin pathetic.
My old firm updated their website, but they don't have a new group photo yet. A couple of months ago I didn't want a particular photograph to be used, because I thought I did not look good in it. And they didn't use it for that reason. They have now updated the site and put up that specific picture.

I mean...
 
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Mr Chocolate

Rubba Band Business
Dec 23, 2012
6,702
My old firm updated their website, but they don't have a new group photo yet. A couple of months ago I did want a particular photograph to be used, because I thought I did not look good in it. And they didn't use it for that reason. They have now updated the site and put up that specific picture.

I mean...
:lol: at that point you have to applaud such pettiness, such a subtle cuntish thing to do
 

AFL_ITALIA

MAGISTERIAL
Jun 17, 2011
31,813
I have to admit that I have been hurt incredibly by this experience. It's not in my nature to fuck over people I have known for years. But apparently others do it without hesitation. In a sense that means I have a real disadvantage in my own field and it is a difficult world for me to navigate.

I never realised quite how much you have to be like Harvey Specter to do this job.

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I'm no lawyer of course, but I don't necessarily think you have to. However, if someone wrongs you, then you hit back with 10 times the force. Have a reputation for it.

My old firm updated their website, but they don't have a new group photo yet. A couple of months ago I didn't want a particular photograph to be used, because I thought I did not look good in it. And they didn't use it for that reason. They have now updated the site and put up that specific picture.

I mean...
:lol: Children
 

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