Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,658
Happy birthday, Easy-E.

So, Woody set me up on a blind date a few weeks ago with a girl from my city he met on a dating site. It went well, and we've been texting n talking since then, but I haven't been interested in doing anything more. I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow, but I really don't want to and want to tell her that as best as I could.

So tell me, Tuz, what should I do? What should I say. Please help this idiot. Grazie!
This is easy. Go. Because you said you would. But have a good time. She isn't your girlfriend, so you're not breaking up with her. You aren't even dating. There is nothing to worry about at this point, you owe her nothing (other than your time you said you would give). She is just a girl that you are going out with for the day.

For the date. Do something that you want to do, have a good time and at the end tell her it was nice to hang out, don't hold her hand, don't give her a hug, etc. But also, don't act bored, give her your attention and think of this as practice for future dates with girls you do like.

Then afterwards go about your business as you would normally. Don't text or call and after a few days she should get the idea. If she texts or calls and wants to know what's up, tell her you had a great time and she seems like a cool friend.
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,913
This is easy. Go. Because you said you would. But have a good time. She isn't your girlfriend, so you're not breaking up with her. You aren't even dating. There is nothing to worry about at this point, you owe her nothing (other than your time you said you would give). She is just a girl that you are going out with for the day.

For the date. Do something that you want to do, have a good time and at the end tell her it was nice to hang out, don't hold her hand, don't give her a hug, etc. But also, don't act bored, give her your attention and think of this as practice for future dates with girls you do like.

Then afterwards go about your business as you would normally. Don't text or call and after a few days she should get the idea. If she texts or calls and wants to know what's up, tell her you had a great time and she seems like a cool friend.
Nicely done, En.
 

Osman

Koul Khara!
Aug 30, 2002
61,484
This is easy. Go. Because you said you would. But have a good time. She isn't your girlfriend, so you're not breaking up with her. You aren't even dating. There is nothing to worry about at this point, you owe her nothing (other than your time you said you would give). She is just a girl that you are going out with for the day.

For the date. Do something that you want to do, have a good time and at the end tell her it was nice to hang out, don't hold her hand, don't give her a hug, etc. But also, don't act bored, give her your attention and think of this as practice for future dates with girls you do like.

Then afterwards go about your business as you would normally. Don't text or call and after a few days she should get the idea. If she texts or calls and wants to know what's up, tell her you had a great time and she seems like a cool friend.
 

Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,313
Dhee just needs to get domed up to understand how things work
So does E. He took sheikh's post at face value. That's generally a bad idea. The reason he doesn't want to go is not that he doesn't like the girl. It's that he fears it will be awkward because he's not good with girls. Apart from that he might also be scared that he might not like her that much in person. Either way he just doesn't want to go because he hates confronting that awkwardness.

Well, wake the fuck up, sometimes dating can be awkward. Just go ffs.

And if the first date went well and so did the texting, don't go in autodestruct mode just because it feels weird.

- - - Updated - - -

Happy birthday, Easy-E.

So, Woody set me up on a blind date a few weeks ago with a girl from my city he met on a dating site. It went well, and we've been texting n talking since then, but I haven't been interested in doing anything more. I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow, but I really don't want to and want to tell her that as best as I could.

So tell me, Tuz, what should I do? What should I say. Please help this idiot. Grazie!
Don't pussy out.
 

Osman

Koul Khara!
Aug 30, 2002
61,484
Dhee just needs to get domed up to understand how things work
Indeed, he said he doesnt want to bang her while not thinking she is ugly. Its bit peculiar, I get wanting to look for serious meaningful relationship first as your goal, I do too, we all should. But when you realize said prospects for that is not possible in whatever standard he has for that, then why not just have fun and then part ways?


The main thing I agree with E about is him suggesting he should be using this date and other not going anywhere dates as practice, git gud and get over your hang ups and pick up some valuable social cues and ways to naturally interact/assert yourself.
 

Quetzalcoatl

It ain't hard to tell
Aug 22, 2007
66,748
Indeed, he said he doesnt want to bang her while not thinking she is ugly. Its bit peculiar, I get wanting to look for serious meaningful relationship first as your goal, I do too, we all should. But when you realize said prospects for that is not possible in whatever standard he has for that, then why not just have fun and then part ways?


The main thing I agree with E about is him suggesting he should be using this date and other not going anywhere dates as practice, git gud and get over your hang ups and pick up some valuable social cues and ways to naturally interact/assert yourself.
It is India after all. He probably can't just bang her like that. Aren't casual hookups frowned at there?
 

Dostoevsky

Tzu
Administrator
May 27, 2007
88,978
Happy birthday, Easy-E.

So, Woody set me up on a blind date a few weeks ago with a girl from my city he met on a dating site. It went well, and we've been texting n talking since then, but I haven't been interested in doing anything more. I'm supposed to meet her tomorrow, but I really don't want to and want to tell her that as best as I could.

So tell me, Tuz, what should I do? What should I say. Please help this idiot. Grazie!
Just go out with her. It's not like you have to do anything, you don't have to marry the girl.

One thing you'll surely get is experience and there's never enough of that, eh? It can't go that bad.
 
Apr 15, 2006
56,640
This is easy. Go. Because you said you would. But have a good time. She isn't your girlfriend, so you're not breaking up with her. You aren't even dating. There is nothing to worry about at this point, you owe her nothing (other than your time you said you would give). She is just a girl that you are going out with for the day.

For the date. Do something that you want to do, have a good time and at the end tell her it was nice to hang out, don't hold her hand, don't give her a hug, etc. But also, don't act bored, give her your attention and think of this as practice for future dates with girls you do like.

Then afterwards go about your business as you would normally. Don't text or call and after a few days she should get the idea. If she texts or calls and wants to know what's up, tell her you had a great time and she seems like a cool friend.
:tup: I'll save this for another day.

Dhee just needs to get domed up to understand how things work
I'm beginning to understand how things work. Don't really like it, but that's how it is.

So does E. He took sheikh's post at face value. That's generally a bad idea. The reason he doesn't want to go is not that he doesn't like the girl. It's that he fears it will be awkward because he's not good with girls. Apart from that he might also be scared that he might not like her that much in person. Either way he just doesn't want to go because he hates confronting that awkwardness.

Well, wake the fuck up, sometimes dating can be awkward. Just go ffs.

And if the first date went well and so did the texting, don't go in autodestruct mode just because it feels weird.
Believe me when I say that awkwardness has been an ever-present "friend" for as long as I can remember. I'm not afraid of it. I just wanted to tap into the collective wisdom of you studs to see if there's a better scenario that I haven't already anticipated. Turns out there isn't, so I'm just gonna do what I wanna do and let the pieces fall where they fall. Screw this illusion of control!

Don't pussy out.
It's already done. I canceled it cos I got invited to a late night bbq with some friends instead. She hasn't texted since then, so I'm just gonna let this decay into history. If she calls again, Imma tell her that she's a fine girl, but I'm not into her.
 

Osman

Koul Khara!
Aug 30, 2002
61,484
It is India after all. He probably can't just bang her like that. Aren't casual hookups frowned at there?

I forgot completely about cultural differences/habits, tho it should be doable just to bang em in certain scenarios, chicks are horny everywhere (you just fish for em in different social venues then whats the norm elsewhere). Especially socially/culturally repressed ones lol. It may take some more effort then the usual go out to pub/night club/house party casual aspect, but if there is a will, and lots and lots of raging hormones, theres a way.
 

Dostoevsky

Tzu
Administrator
May 27, 2007
88,978
Indeed, he said he doesnt want to bang her while not thinking she is ugly. Its bit peculiar, I get wanting to look for serious meaningful relationship first as your goal, I do too, we all should. But when you realize said prospects for that is not possible in whatever standard he has for that, then why not just have fun and then part ways?


The main thing I agree with E about is him suggesting he should be using this date and other not going anywhere dates as practice, git gud and get over your hang ups and pick up some valuable social cues and ways to naturally interact/assert yourself.
I think way too many guys think a) she's ugly b) I want to marry her

But there's also a middle ground where you go with the flow.
 

Osman

Koul Khara!
Aug 30, 2002
61,484
I think way too many guys think a) she's ugly b) I want to marry her

But there's also a middle ground where you go with the flow.
Exactly.


Whats more important is not making too much of a big deal about it/bother with judging things in preset superflous standards/high expectations. Just talk/fish for shit you have in common can have fun with, and then you'll notice if she interests you or not. Half of the encounters these days is before even deciding you have any interest in em, to just talk as collegues/friend of a friend/random chance encounter (rarer these days with everyone glued to cell phones), and only then after a while you can sense something irresistible/worth exploring about em.


But generally you are better off not making too big of a deal in meeting em, and get too ahead of yourself in what you want to get out of it all before barely even getting to know her.
 

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