Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,658
When does the search stop, then? If you get married with a girl, than that also means there's a better one out there. Does that ring for a divorce or a second thought aboht the marriage itself?

The whole marriage thing seems strongly forced by the society anyway. It's like it's a final solution to all problems while in fact it probably creates even more problems.
I said there's always another one. Not a better one. I think in the end you find one youre attracted to and that you can tolerate and if she feels the same then you stay together.

I also think there are many opinions on relationships and none are better or worse than the other. People tend to overthink these things, when all it comes down to is what you want.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm sure you have a nicer talent pool to swim in.
Maybe, but I really just like going for coffee.
 

Seven

In bocca al lupo, Fabio.
Jun 25, 2003
39,314
I said there's always another one. Not a better one. I think in the end you find one youre attracted to and that you can tolerate and if she feels the same then you stay together.

I also think there are many opinions on relationships and none are better or worse than the other. People tend to overthink these things, when all it comes down to is what you want.

There are ever increasing LGBTwhateverthefuckelse groups who are pressurising people into feeling attracted. You get transgender women claiming to be discriminated by 'cisgender' (what?) men who say they simply aren't attracted to people who were born a man.

All of this bullshit is of course the direct result of some people being so damn vain they think they should be allowed into coercing everyone else into feeling attracted to them.
 

Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,658
There are ever increasing LGBTwhateverthefuckelse groups who are pressurising people into feeling attracted. You get transgender women claiming to be discriminated by 'cisgender' (what?) men who say they simply aren't attracted to people who were born a man.

All of this bullshit is of course the direct result of some people being so damn vain they think they should be allowed into coercing everyone else into feeling attracted to them.
That's very true. I have an American friend down here who tells me Im body shaming every time I reject a woman Im not attracted to. She's straight, so it isnt even limited to the trans community.
 

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,749
Condoms cost 2.5e for a pack (of 3). That is literally 1/4 of a daily salary. I wish I could see Americans buy condoms for like 50 dollars (there are some cheaper ones but I feel like buying a Chinese products. Not that I would mind but... it's a condom. I wouldn't mess with that). Sooner or later I'll be out of cash (the non-existant wallet that I have). Settle down? I can't nor I plan to settle down while being financially unstable. So even if girls I meet are good the best thing I can do for myself is to be in emotional detachment and have some fun.
Dude. A dude who is up to his neck in hoochie complaining about the cost of condoms is a bit much to handle here. :D

When does the search stop, then? If you get married with a girl, than that also means there's a better one out there. Does that ring for a divorce or a second thought aboht the marriage itself?

The whole marriage thing seems strongly forced by the society anyway. It's like it's a final solution to all problems while in fact it probably creates even more problems.
This is a critical and sage question, btw. I've been with the same woman, faithfully, for a couple of decades now. Which isn't to say there hasn't been temptation and second-thoughts along the way. Sometimes, from out of the blue, you never know when you come across someone else who suddenly seems to have a chemistry with you (or at least the way you personally experience it) that can bring the whole thing into doubt and change your worldview a bit.

It's no guarantee of a solid marriage, but I will say this much. You don't marry for love. At least romantic love. That's a recipe for FAIL. What makes you attracted to a person and what makes you a good fit to be married to another person each involve almost entirely different forces or reasons, IMO. I suppose in very rare cases you might be able to suit both. But I'll say for a lot of people the very reasons for what makes a strong romantic attraction to someone can be entirely at odds with what makes them a good, livable life partner.

Romantic love is all about what drives you in attraction about another person at their best. Being married, successfully, can be a lot about learning how to cope and disagree constructively about the things -- often the differences -- that would otherwise pull you apart, and often for how the other person can show you their "worst".

Romantic dating is as much a predictor of a good marriage as watching footie on TV is as much a predictor of your professional goal scoring capabilities.

Doooz the whole when you aren't looking for it bitches are everywhere thing is always the case. I had a mid mid life crisis and freaked out that all my mates are in relationships yet I can't find a little honey to be with. It consumed me for a bit but I'm letting it all go now, cbf with it, every girl I'd be like oh shit she could be the one. Doesn't work.

Now I'm just thinking I'm gonna have some fun, not worry about things and see what happens. At least try to. Which sounds like what you are doing, it's probably the best choice.
I think the magic here is in the thinking. You first have to break through to the idea that whether you have a life partner or not, your life is good and you're happy with who you are regardless. Without achieving that first, you're not going to be too attractive and will probably exhibit behaviors that will help repel others. ;)

You should have married that russian chick, she's the one.
Spy?

Im about to be aged 33 in 11 days.

But I actually do enjoy dating, well at least the going out part.
Man, you're getting up there, amigo. :D (Says the old dude here.)

I said there's always another one. Not a better one. I think in the end you find one youre attracted to and that you can tolerate and if she feels the same then you stay together.
Eazy just wrote what I did above pretty much. :D

Like a male chihuahua.
 

Salvo

J
Moderator
Dec 17, 2007
62,790
You should have married that russian chick, she's the one.

Maybe it's not too late. :boh: @Salvo
What a babe she was, freak in bed as well
Mid mid life, aren't you about 23 or something? :D That's officially quarter life crisis.
:D hence mid mid life crisis
Dude. A dude who is up to his neck in hoochie complaining about the cost of condoms is a bit much to handle here. :D



This is a critical and sage question, btw. I've been with the same woman, faithfully, for a couple of decades now. Which isn't to say there hasn't been temptation and second-thoughts along the way. Sometimes, from out of the blue, you never know when you come across someone else who suddenly seems to have a chemistry with you (or at least the way you personally experience it) that can bring the whole thing into doubt and change your worldview a bit.

It's no guarantee of a solid marriage, but I will say this much. You don't marry for love. At least romantic love. That's a recipe for FAIL. What makes you attracted to a person and what makes you a good fit to be married to another person each involve almost entirely different forces or reasons, IMO. I suppose in very rare cases you might be able to suit both. But I'll say for a lot of people the very reasons for what makes a strong romantic attraction to someone can be entirely at odds with what makes them a good, livable life partner.

Romantic love is all about what drives you in attraction about another person at their best. Being married, successfully, can be a lot about learning how to cope and disagree constructively about the things -- often the differences -- that would otherwise pull you apart, and often for how the other person can show you their "worst".

Romantic dating is as much a predictor of a good marriage as watching footie on TV is as much a predictor of your professional goal scoring capabilities.



I think the magic here is in the thinking. You first have to break through to the idea that whether you have a life partner or not, your life is good and you're happy with who you are regardless. Without achieving that first, you're not going to be too attractive and will probably exhibit behaviors that will help repel others. ;)



Spy?



Man, you're getting up there, amigo. :D (Says the old dude here.)



Eazy just wrote what I did above pretty much. :D



Like a male chihuahua.
Wise man swag, wise man. I guess it's hard, once you have the thought that you want a serious relationship, to break through that and start being happy with the idea of not needing a life partner. I'm trying to though.

I think a big factor is that I've never really had a serious relationship before, closest thing was when I was like 17 but we never made it official. I have had my experiences however, sexual and otherwise. I also know that I'm very picky, but I don't see a point in settling.
 

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,749
Wise man swag, wise man. I guess it's hard, once you have the thought that you want a serious relationship, to break through that and start being happy with the idea of not needing a life partner. I'm trying to though.
Consider it a goal, even if you don't quite 100% achieve getting there.

The oddity is, as a side benefit, you will be more like Dusan in this regard if you do. :D

I think a big factor is that I've never really had a serious relationship before, closest thing was when I was like 17 but we never made it official. I have had my experiences however, sexual and otherwise. I also know that I'm very picky, but I don't see a point in settling.
Is there a reason they never got too serious? Was that more you or her, or the combination?

These days with hookup culture, I believe there's a lot of people pushing 30 and beyond who truly never had a relationship that serious. While that may seem like a missed opportunity for experience on one hand, it does free you from a lot of potential baggage on the other.

when you get the money, you get the power. when you get the power then you get the woman
Always.

For some reason the math just doesn't add up. I've run several simulations and the logical, linear progression isn't the stated quotient
You could write copypasta. :strong:
 

Salvo

J
Moderator
Dec 17, 2007
62,790
Consider it a goal, even if you don't quite 100% achieve getting there.

The oddity is, as a side benefit, you will be more like Dusan in this regard if you do. :D



Is there a reason they never got too serious? Was that more you or her, or the combination?

These days with hookup culture, I believe there's a lot of people pushing 30 and beyond who truly never had a relationship that serious. While that may seem like a missed opportunity for experience on one hand, it does free you from a lot of potential baggage on the other.



Always.



You could write copypasta. :strong:
Probably both, I can't say I've met that many people that have stood out to me. I've also noticed that if I start getting feelings for someone I just fall into it too easily. I also, lately, change the way I talk to people when I'm genuinely interested. I think I become too nice (boring) it probably becomes obvious that I'm really scared of fucking it up and overthink everything. You can't put pussy on a pedestal, I can smooth talk a girl I just wanna bang but if I see redeeming qualities in someone and start thinking this could be the one I become a bitch basically. It's strange because I'm actually quite confident otherwise.
 
Apr 15, 2006
56,640
when you get the money, you get the power. when you get the power then you get the woman
This reminds me of the lyrics from a reggae song: "Money in my pocket but I just can't get no love."
Probably both, I can't say I've met that many people that have stood out to me. I've also noticed that if I start getting feelings for someone I just fall into it too easily. I also, lately, change the way I talk to people when I'm genuinely interested. I think I become too nice (boring) it probably becomes obvious that I'm really scared of fucking it up and overthink everything. You can't put pussy on a pedestal, I can smooth talk a girl I just wanna bang but if I see redeeming qualities in someone and start thinking this could be the one I become a bitch basically.
Totally relate to that last part :D
 

Osman

Koul Khara!
Aug 30, 2002
61,484
It turned into mens help line here lol, interesting posts by Greg, douchen and sensual Salvo.


Dennis Brown @Sheik Yerbouti :tup:

Skickat från min SM-G930F via Tapatalk
 

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