GordoDeCentral

Diez
Moderator
Apr 14, 2005
70,776
I'm living pretty close to school and in a very safe neighborhood (i have even walked home at midnight). Outside of that I'm hanging out with groups of friends so Philly has been really safe for me in the past three years.



People who don't like me/have low opinion of me haven't made it obvious to me :p I see what you mean but i disagree with you.

Disagree with what? That it is healthy let alone realistic to get nothing but positive feedback? I'm not saying it will stop the attacks but it will definitely lessen the impact
 

Ocelot

Midnight Marauder
Jul 13, 2013
18,943
Disagree with what? That it is healthy let alone realistic to get nothing but positive feedback? I'm not saying it will stop the attacks but it will definitely lessen the impact
There's a difference between only getting positive feedback and keeping people around you who really don't like you at all. You can get criticism from your friends as well.
 

king Ale

Senior Member
Oct 28, 2004
21,689
Disagree with what? That it is healthy let alone realistic to get nothing but positive feedback? I'm not saying it will stop the attacks but it will definitely lessen the impact
It is neither realistic nor healthy to have, and keep around yourself people who have low opinion of you or dislike you or as you call them are your enemies. It's totally fine that those people exist but it's not healthy to be exposed to them in so much frequency that you'd find it less painful when verbally sexually addressed. Getting negative feedback is one thing, being exposed to people who dislike you on a "daily" basis is an entirely different thing imo.
 

IliveForJuve

Burn this club
Jan 17, 2011
18,921
I'd say you can influence them - sometimes very well, sometimes not really.
You can change your story to change your emotions. But you can also change your behavior to change your emotions. You can jumpstart emotions, fake it ‘til you make it, behave differently, and people will respond differently.

If you play the calm one in a conflict, an opponent's response often makes it increasingly easy to continue to play the calm one.
 

king Ale

Senior Member
Oct 28, 2004
21,689
It's an emotion. You don't have to control or understand it. You just have to feel it. And given that there is no real reason to feel this way and assuming you don't have deeprooted issues, I'm sure this emotion is going to fade very soon.
It has already faded. It was not a lasting feeling and it has never been. What's perplexing to me is that why i feel extremely defeated in that very moment (and no not everyone feels that way).

- - - Updated - - -

There's a difference between only getting positive feedback and keeping people around you who really don't like you at all. You can get criticism from your friends as well.
Exactly. Not necessarily from your friends though, it can be your boss/supervisor/etc.

Not if you're a girl.
That's not true. I'd say not if those are not your close friends.
 

GordoDeCentral

Diez
Moderator
Apr 14, 2005
70,776
It is neither realistic nor healthy to have, and keep around yourself people who have low opinion of you or dislike you or as you call them are your enemies. It's totally fine that those people exist but it's not healthy to be exposed to them in so much frequency that you'd find it less painful when verbally sexually addressed. Getting negative feedback is one thing, being exposed to people who dislike you on a "daily" basis is an entirely different thing imo.
Adversity creates strength, comfort weakness, plus like i said the tendency in American Society to be overly nice is just not realistic it also creates phenomena like Tumblr trigger culture

Well then Juventuz should be your favorite place of all.
Puhleaaase, this is where i come to relax :D
 

IliveForJuve

Burn this club
Jan 17, 2011
18,921
It is neither realistic nor healthy to have, and keep around yourself people who have low opinion of you or dislike you or as you call them are your enemies. It's totally fine that those people exist but it's not healthy to be exposed to them in so much frequency that you'd find it less painful when verbally sexually addressed. Getting negative feedback is one thing, being exposed to people who dislike you on a "daily" basis is an entirely different thing imo.
Well, I can tell you a little story.

I had a coworker who I had to see every day and even work with them sometimes. This coworker hated me for reasons I won't disclose but their hate was intense and they made sure I knew that, by trying to humiliate me in front of others, making mean jokes, insulting me. Some of the things they said impacted me a little for a few minutes, maybe 5, some didn't phase me at all.

Sometimes I wouldn't say nothing back and just ignore them, other times I would give her a cool, witty response.

They ended up leaving the firm. All my coworkers saw what happened on a daily basis and they laughed when that person left.
 

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