There's a holy trifecta I've found if you're going out to get shitfaced: a cop, a doctor, and a lawyer. At my bachelor party, my brother and best man (cop) arranged things that included my "brother from another mother" (chair of surgery for a nearby county hospital) and a friend in from San Diego (lawyer & assistant district attorney in S.D.).
You cannot, I repeat,
cannot cover for any drunken eventualities with a better entourage than that.
We were prepared for everything this side of alien space hookers with lasers.
So you're the guy in the DutchBeefcake.com webcams?
Time to dredge up one of my favorite Zimbabwean jokes again...
Q: How do you make a white wine?
A: You take his farm away.
:rndh: