What Are You Doing Right Now? (138 Viewers)

[Hængebøffer]

Anyways. I wasn't meant to be a discussion, since I can't tell the whole picture. I just had to tell someone and I found this to be the place regarding not "breaking" my confidentiality.

- - - Updated - - -

Sounds quite simple to me. It's just a kid. There aren't many complex thoughts around at this point. She feels you're betraying her, leaving her, don't care about her. So she's angry. It would surprise me if it's anything other than that tbh.

One more thing. What if she became a friend with kids mom BUT she decided to share all the information about the kid. Would that change things? It's not professional but you'd all have more valuable info regarding the kid. So it's a plus from your work point, no?

She is not allowed to discuss these things outside work. I'm actually surprised that you're so loose about it. And not to mention our extended duty to report.. There's a reason almost all places won't allowed friendship in these cases - it's simply too difficult to maintain a professional distance.

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Dostoevsky]

Anyways. I wasn't meant to be a discussion, since I can't tell the whole picture. I just had to tell someone and I found this to be the place regarding not "breaking" my confidentiality.

- - - Updated - - -



She is not allowed to discuss these things outside work. I'm actually surprised that you're so loose about it. And not to mention our extended duty to report.. There's a reason almost all places won't allowed friendship in these cases - it's simply too difficult to maintain a professional distance.

Don't get me wrong I'm trying to put the whole picture together and see things from your angle. Never been into such situation so I'm questioning, not bashing and pointing finger at you.

But it's kinda fucked up when you say how you're doing the only right thing. Maybe you are. But that right thing is gonna bring so many negative things with it. You'll probably lose kids confidence and you're gonna fuck up your co-worker. Easy thing to do will bring the hardest and biggest burden onto your shoulders sadly.

Oh, and yeah, it wasn't professional of her. I was not defending the girl at any way.

 

[Nzoric]

Er det børn med særlige behov søren?

Sendt fra min SM-N910F med Tapatalk

 

[Hængebøffer]

But I simply can't do that. My work involves a lot trust. I/we can't share information with a person, we can't trust + I se change in behaviour from her and the kid. In this case it really is black/white and my case is a lose/lose. I'm not lying here. I really wish it was another kid which doesn't directly involve me. I would still tell on her, though. But I wouldn't think so much about it. And she will not get fired, since it's against the municipality's policy. But she would get transfered to somewhere else.

 

[Hængebøffer]

Er det børn med særlige behov søren?

Sendt fra min SM-N910F med Tapatalk

Nej, men det er stadig et barn jeg har et stærkt bånd til. Det er jo derfor jeg er så ked af det. Men det skal bare gøres. Der er egentlig ikke så meget at diskutere.

 

[Seven]

But I simply can't do that. My work involves a lot trust. I/we can't share information with a person, we can't trust + I se change in behaviour from her and the kid. In this case it really is black/white and my case is a lose/lose. I'm not lying here. I really wish it was another kid which doesn't directly involve me. I would still tell on her, though. But I wouldn't think so much about it. And she will not get fired, since it's against the municipality's policy. But she would get transfered to somewhere else.

What exactly is your job?

 

[Hængebøffer]

What exactly is your job?

I'm a bachelor in social education. My work is with kids from 5-10 and takes place in school and an after-school recreation centre.

 

[Seven]

I'm a bachelor in social education. My work is with kids from 5-10 and takes place in school and an after-school recreation centre.

Okay. I understand that her behaviour was not professional. But don't you run the risk of making a bad situation worse?

 

[Seven]

Don't get me wrong I'm trying to put the whole picture together and see things from your angle. Never been into such situation so I'm questioning, not bashing and pointing finger at you.

But it's kinda fucked up when you say how you're doing the only right thing. Maybe you are. But that right thing is gonna bring so many negative things with it. You'll probably lose kids confidence and you're gonna fuck up your co-worker. Easy thing to do will bring the hardest and biggest burden onto your shoulders sadly.

Oh, and yeah, it wasn't professional of her. I was not defending the girl at any way.

Exactly. I'm not sure it is the right thing. I guess it's the superficial right thing, yes.

 

[Hængebøffer]

Okay. I understand that her behaviour was not professional. But don't you run the risk of making a bad situation worse?

Cause I'm not. It will probably be worse to my personal feelings, but I can (and have to) live with that. I have told about this work place plenty of times. There's so much wrong shit going on, it's unbelievable. Now, I can actually do something about. It's all about the big picture.

 

[Hængebøffer]

Exactly. I'm not sure it is the right thing. I guess it's the superficial right thing, yes.

Not at all. But I guess this is like people debating an article from the newspaper where you only know half about what's really going on.

 

[Seven]

Cause I'm not. It will probably be worse to my personal feelings, but I can (and have to) live with that. I have told about this work place plenty of times. There's so much wrong shit going on, it's unbelievable. Now, I can actually do something about. It's all about the big picture.

Not at all. But I guess this is like people debating an article from the newspaper where you only know half about what's really going on.

Sure. And obviously you're the only one who knows the full story.

But if you're telling the story in broad strokes to a bunch of strangers and they all have doubts, that tells you something. Especially because they only heard your side of it and still didn't agree.

 

[Hængebøffer]

Sure. And obviously you're the only one who knows the full story.

But if you're telling the story in broad strokes to a bunch of strangers and they all have doubts, that tells you something. Especially because they only heard your side of it and still didn't agree.

If I wrote to the lawyers of my union, they would tell me to report it immediately. This wouldn't really be a problem most places. My problem is my feelings and they should never make me ignore stuff. If I ever did that, I would find something else to do.

 

[Seven]

If I wrote to the lawyers of my union, they would tell me to report it immediately. This wouldn't really be a problem most places. My problem is my feelings and they should never make me ignore stuff. If I ever did that, I would find something else to do.

Of course those lawyers would.

 

[Dostoevsky]

If I wrote to the lawyers of my union, they would tell me to report it immediately. This wouldn't really be a problem most places. My problem is my feelings and they should never make me ignore stuff. If I ever did that, I would find something else to do.

You know what's fucked up? The society. Majority of people. It has nothing to do with your job, I believe such stuff is everywhere around us.

I don't want to compare my country with yours. I'd even understand you reporting at some point. But majority of people would look at you like a stranger and like you're a rapist.

It's hard to change such stuff. You might face a much different scenario after you report it. I wouldn't really be surprised if your co-wokers would start looking at you differently and even tell you less in the future.

 

[Hængebøffer]

You know what's fucked up? The society. Majority of people. It has nothing to do with your job, I believe such stuff is everywhere around us.

I don't want to compare my country with yours. I'd even understand you reporting at some point. But majority of people would look at you like a stranger and like you're a rapist.

It's hard to change such stuff. You might face a much different scenario after you report it. I wouldn't really be surprised if your co-wokers would start looking at you differently and even tell you less in the future.

My co-workers fully agree with me. You think I didn't talk with them? They confirmed my worries without me telling them about it. The problem could be with the parents. She could tell them a lot of shit and I can't do anything about it, because of confidentiality. That's why I hate when some parents goes full retard on a school or teacher in the media, cause non of them can defend themselves in public. But yeah, this is why I hate most adults.

 

[Dostoevsky]

My co-workers fully agree with me. You think I didn't talk with them? They confirmed my worries without me telling them about it. The problem could be with the parents. She could tell them a lot of shit and I can't do anything about it, because of confidentiality. That's why I hate when some parents goes full retard on a school or teacher in the media, cause non of them can defend themselves in public. But yeah, this is why I hate most adults.

I had no idea you talked with them already.

I see the worse thing about the whole thing for you is this kid. Can't say it's shocking.

 

[Hængebøffer]

I see the worse thing about the whole thing for you is this kid. Can't say it's shocking.

Yup and I just had to get it out and you guys got to be the victims. It's just so hard thinking about it and only because of an idiot who did something, which could easily be avoided. It's like people who fall in love and it's against company rules. "But you can't do anything about love". Fuck off. Of course you can. You're not a 15 year old teenager.

 

[Seven]

Yup and I just had to get it out and you guys got to be the victims. It's just so hard thinking about it and only because of an idiot who did something, which could easily be avoided. It's like people who fall in love and it's against company rules. "But you can't do anything about love". Fuck off. Of course you can. You're not a 15 year old teenager.

Aren't you too invested in this emotionally?

 

[Hængebøffer]

Aren't you too invested in this emotionally?

How? There's something called professional love and if this wouldn't affect me, I would find another field. My profession identity is build around my ability to create relations. This is where I know I'm good and better than others. It also demands a lot of investment and I always have to be aware of the thin red line, so I don't burn out. But it also give me a bond to a lot of kids, which my co-workers don't have. The kids are save with me and I really wish more people would do what I do, cause I can't be there for everyone all the time. Unfortunately, everything these days are only important if it can be measured.