Friday February 9, 2007
Guardian Unlimited
STAND BY YOUR STAN
Irish accountants are special. Bertie Ahern, the country's supreme leader, is one. His finest hours as a bean-counter saw him systematically sign blank cheques for thieving Taoiseach Charlie Haughey. And John Delaney, chief executive of the Football Association of Ireland, is also one. He proudly backed his father Joe, who, as FAI treasurer in 1994, attempted to secure extra tickets for the World Cup in God Bless America by handing £100,000 of the association's money to a tout known only as "George the Greek". Astonishingly, George didn't provide any tickets but did scarper with the cash.
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Yet John Delaney's most outrageous misjudgement surely came 12 months ago, when he successfully campaigned for the appointment of Walsall janitor Stan "Steve" Staunton as Republic of Ireland manager, even though Stan had only applied for the job in order to disprove claims that the FAI would be mad enough to give it to him. Stan's gesture backfired and he found himself managing his country before he'd so much as thrown a teacup in anger at any club. And after guiding his country to the worst defeat in their history (5-2 against Cyprus last October), he masterminded the worst win in their history last Wednesday. Now the only thing louder than the demands for Stan's dismissal are the howls for Delaney's head.
Shamelessly, Delaney and Staunton skulked under their desks yesterday, sending out Stan's 73-year-old mentor Rir Sobby O'Bobson to take the flak despite the fact that the Englishman is clearly not in the best of health. Speaking to irate fans on an RTE phone-in beloved of cretinous cranks, O'Bobson bemoaned the country's lack of a "Nigel Crouch figure" and valiantly tried but failed to answer questions that had nothing to do with him. But such was the outcry at the cowardly sacrifice of a well-meaning gentleman that the FAI was finally forced out of its bunker. "Bobby expressed a wish to get his side of things across," whimpered an FAI flunkey. "We talked it over with him, explained the show format and he was still eager to go on."
Delaney eventually surfaced today and, misguided as ever, attempted to defuse the situation with a an inappropriate and tasteless joke: "I and the board have full confidence in Steve Staunton," he said to absolutely no laughter. "He's a lot of work to do and should be allowed to get on with it." No. He. Shouldn't.
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