American client asks the waitress in russian restaurant, "Is your vodka fresh tonight?
"What do you mean 'fresh’, sir?"
"Well, last week I had three bottles here and I was sick the whole day next day…".
"Last time I came home, I was so drunk my own children didn’t recognize me."
"What happened after you sobered up?"
"Well, once I was sober enough, I realized I was in the wrong house."
Lithuanian Rab, RUSsian and australian are walking along the road, all are starving.
They decide to each go their own way and if some of them finds anything he will light a fire. A while later lithuanian spots some smoke coming from the direction of russian. Lithuanian runs towards russian and finds him at the fire grilling a large piece of meat. They start to eat, they eat ..., australian does not appear.
Finally lithuanian says: "I really don't like that australian that much anyway."
Russian answers: "Well, if you don't like him, then don't eat him."
