July 13, TORINO - On the heels of announcing the signing of 28-year-old Danish midfielder, Christian Poulsen, Juventus have have revealed the history-making signing of 8-year-old Spanish midfielder, Mighty Joe Young.
Mr. Young represents a breakthrough in world soccer as the sport's first trans-species transfer (excluding Marco Materazzi). Just this week, upon the news that Spain is about to grant human rights to apes (
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/13/weekinreview/13mcneil.html), Mr. Young applied for his E.U. passport and put his inked palm to paper, signing the services of famous Spanish football agent, Eli Coimbra -- who represents football stars such as Euro 2008 hero, Marcos Senna.
Juventus transfer chief, Alessio Secco -- not to be undone by the news of another hot European midfield prospect with a fighting spirit, instincts for provocation, and minimal understanding of the Italian language -- immediately signed Mr. Young to a €8m, 5-year deal, which includes a special clause for all the bananas Mr. Young can eat.
MOVE OVER SENNA Mighty Joe Young, a fearsome midfield destroyer, relaxes after a practice session in Zaragoza Sunday.