Nick Against the World (44 Viewers)

[Bjerknes]

Report - Burke Gives Padovano Blow Job
Channel 4
June 1, 2007

Various news agencies are reporting Juventuz member Michael Burke has performed fellatio on North Carolina lawyer Robert Padovano after a lost bet. The German-American stated that he would give Padovano a blow job if new Bayern Munich signing Luca Toni came close to Gerd Müller's 40-goal record for the Bavarian giants in 1972.

"Gerd Müller holds the single-season Bundesliga record with 40 Goals in season 1971/72," stated Burke on Juventuz Forums. "If Toni comes close to it, I'll suck your cock."

Reports out of Shitsville, North Carolina state that Burke has performed fellatio on the successful lawyer, but news sources in Germany are reporting that Luca Toni has not even played a match for Bayern yet.

"Burke gave Padovano a blow job, that's a fact," stated Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. "But Luca Toni has not even played a match for us yet. I know this because I asked Sebastian Deisler while visiting him at the Auschwitz Mental Hospital, and he is my advisor. Although I did ask him if the new season started yet, and he responded by he wanted to kill himself."

The discrepancies in reports have apparently caused chaos in cities from Caracas to State College. NBC 6 is reporting Burke's friend Andrew Beck suicide bombed the meteorology building at Penn State after spray painting the building with the words, "My friend is not gay, he just loves Pado. Luca Toni sucks, he will never beat Muller. Fuck you Toni you lying bastard."

Niether Burke nor Padovano were available for comment.

In other news, after the suicide bombing of the Penn State building, a head was found at a local golf course. A patron of the resort place the head on top of the 18th hole to show respect for the victims of the bombing. But the head has apparently turned out to be that of the bomber, Andrew Beck.

www.channel4.com

 

Buy on AliExpress.com

[Bjerknes]

Well Rab won't add me on Facebook and I think I'm getting sued by my former boss.
But other than that I've had an excellent week.

What is the lawsuit about my man?

 

[The Pado]

Yes, it's true that Burke sucked Padovano's cock. It's just like the bookies paying out in January on bets for Inter to win the 2006/07 Scudetto. Luca Toni will bag 36 goals in his first year and 41 in his second.

 

[The Pado]

OK, now I remember . . . if you want to look at corn on the internet, www.corncam.com is still up and running. Love internet corn.

 

[Bjerknes]

Yes, it's true that Burke sucked Padovano's cock. It's just like the bookies paying out in January on bets for Inter to win the 2006/07 Scudetto. Luca Toni will bag 36 goals in his first year and 41 in his second.

And I will come back to life as a WOP working for La Mela in little Italy making rigatoni with my bare hands and ass cheeks.

Nick, that was a good restaurant, but tell those guys to get back on the boat.

 

[Dragon]

You didn't tell me you loved me when I nutted on your face and ruined your favorite blouse last night.

ewwww

 

[JCK]

It might be due to that password bullshit and subforum nonsense.

That has nothing to do with the thread's responsiveness because it was behaving normally when they were first set.

 

[Vinman]

That has nothing to do with the thread's responsiveness because it was behaving normally when they were first set.

not any more.....

 

[Enron]

Well guys, today looks to be a good day for football as Sky is reporting a decent Juve bid for Sissoko, International qualifiers, and US v China later tonight.

 

[Enron]

What is the lawsuit about my man?

It's a matter of 300 dollars. My boss lent us her washer and dryer, neither of which has ever worked. Then a few days later she tells us she needs 300 bucks. We asked her to take them back but she refused its been about 6 months since then and yesterday I recieved some official notice with numerous fake allegations. Im refusing to pay her, but if she does take me to court I think Ill own her.

 

[The Pado]

It's another red-letter day for the Portugese Panucci Hole, Luis Figo:

11:15 - Figo signs one-year with Inter

13:40 - Figo inks two-year contract with Sevilla

14:30 - Figo makes sensational return to Barcelona for two-years, $19M.

 

[ßöмßäяðîëя]

You didn't tell me you loved me when I nutted on your face and ruined your favorite blouse last night.

Well that is because there was too much semen in my mouth to speak.

Manuele Blasi called me on the phone, said I was a faggot. You know what I did? I hung myself... because he's right.

That fuckface cock nigel.....

Report - Burke Gives Padovano Blow Job
Channel 4
June 1, 2007

Various news agencies are reporting Juventuz member Michael Burke has performed fellatio on North Carolina lawyer Robert Padovano after a lost bet. The German-American stated that he would give Padovano a blow job if new Bayern Munich signing Luca Toni came close to Gerd Müller's 40-goal record for the Bavarian giants in 1972.

"Gerd Müller holds the single-season Bundesliga record with 40 Goals in season 1971/72," stated Burke on Juventuz Forums. "If Toni comes close to it, I'll suck your cock."

Reports out of Shitsville, North Carolina state that Burke has performed fellatio on the successful lawyer, but news sources in Germany are reporting that Luca Toni has not even played a match for Bayern yet.

"Burke gave Padovano a blow job, that's a fact," stated Karl-Heinz Rummenigge. "But Luca Toni has not even played a match for us yet. I know this because I asked Sebastian Deisler while visiting him at the Auschwitz Mental Hospital, and he is my advisor. Although I did ask him if the new season started yet, and he responded by he wanted to kill himself."

The discrepancies in reports have apparently caused chaos in cities from Caracas to State College. NBC 6 is reporting Burke's friend Andrew Beck suicide bombed the meteorology building at Penn State after spray painting the building with the words, "My friend is not gay, he just loves Pado. Luca Toni sucks, he will never beat Muller. Fuck you Toni you lying bastard."

Niether Burke nor Padovano were available for comment.

In other news, after the suicide bombing of the Penn State building, a head was found at a local golf course. A patron of the resort place the head on top of the 18th hole to show respect for the victims of the bombing. But the head has apparently turned out to be that of the bomber, Andrew Beck.

www.channel4.com

That was the best story I've ever heard.... :rofl2:

ewwww

Shut up, donkhead.

It's a matter of 300 dollars. My boss lent us her washer and dryer, neither of which has ever worked. Then a few days later she tells us she needs 300 bucks. We asked her to take them back but she refused its been about 6 months since then and yesterday I recieved some official notice with numerous fake allegations. Im refusing to pay her, but if she does take me to court I think Ill own her.

Well, you can call my pops....he will own everyone.

 

[Azzurri7]

Well Rab won't add me on Facebook and I think I'm getting sued by my former boss.
But other than that I've had an excellent week.

huh? when was that?

Add me now bitch

 

[Bjerknes]

Landon Donovan called me on the phone, said I was a faggot. You know what I did? I said two words... Bayer Leverkusen. And Donovan hung himself.

 

[The Pado]

Ode to Ahmedios


You may love my Panucci Hole
But never look it in the eye.
It might just be an Anal Cannon
And I'd hate for you to die.
I'm a Suicide Bomber
With an asshole that smells.
I'm a Suicide Bomber
With a Panucci that kills.

 

[Zé Tahir]

Jack remove the password already. This thread has become pathetic ever since and people barely post in here now.

 

[Bjerknes]

Ode to Ahmedios


You may love my Panucci Hole
But never look it in the eye.
It might just be an Anal Cannon
And I'd hate for you to die.
I'm a Suicide Bomber
With an asshole that smells.
I'm a Suicide Bomber
With a Panucci that kills.

I love you, Pado.

 

[Bjerknes]

Jack remove the password already. This thread has become pathetic ever since and people barely post in here now.

We still fucking post, but it's ridiculous we have to wait 20 minutes to do so. That;s the problem. Put this thread back in the history forum without a password where it belongs, Jack.

 

[JCK]

not any more.....

But this does not mean that the bloody password and the stupid subforum are causing the slowness. It has to be something else.

 

[swag]

Well guys, today looks to be a good day for football as Sky is reporting a decent Juve bid for Sissoko, International qualifiers, and US v China later tonight.

It was actually a pretty fun match. Great weather and the first time the NT played in San Jose in four years -- before the Quakes left town. (And yes, I even got to meet Tifoso Lou for the first time there. I know some of you will be gravely disappointed to learn that he's a pretty normal guy.)

Tim Howard and Jonathan Spector played well for ManU rejects. Feilhaber played well, and Kljestan's lateral motion was really good. China couldn't cross for sh*t, however. But you have to see the team live to realize how big Onyewu is and how small Beasley is. Onyewu could stick Beasley up his ass like a tampon and nobody would notice.

We were sitting in the central midfield section across of where the cameras were. It was a good crowd. In fact, a lot of guys around me who suggested what Andy and Burke might be like at an exhibition game. One of the guys kept going on about how he had a $10 bet on China, so he kept screaming, "C-H...I-N-A! Goooooo CHINA!", "Let's go, Ping Pong! You're my man, buddy!", "Red card! Red card!" at every U.S. player contact. "Ten dollah! I want my TEN DOLLAH!"

Meanwhile the other crew around me were chanting, "FREE TI-BET!" and "Go Taiwan!" to yank chains. The announcer saying, "Coming off the field .... Dong Fangzhuo", replied by, "Hey -- I've been to that restaurant. Don't order the cashew chicken, man." And then of course, stupid sh*t like waiting for the wave to come around the stadium and we'd all be like, "Hold it... wait for it... wait for it..." and we'd leap up and scream about 3 seconds after the wave already passed us by.

Anyway, apologies for the crap phone camera photos. Take my word for it... the second is of Beasley's PK for the opening goal. The third is the facist salutes after Gooch put the U.S. up 4-1.