'Murica! (74 Viewers)

pavelnel

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2006
2,474
Here's my thought on this.

I actually don't mind (CARE is a better word) If somebody decides not to have kids. But I do think people will regret it at a certain point. However, what I find horrible is how people lie to themselves when giving reasons on why not to have kids. Saying stuff like "world is already overpopulated" "people are destroying the planet" (TV Show Utopia is great, though), "I don't want to raise a kid in THIS world", etc. Such things are fucking bullshit. World nowadays has shitload of flaws, that's for sure, but compared to the past it's still quite great, no, since parents used to lose like 4 out of 5-6 kids in the past as just one example. Secondly, I find it silly how some certain people put themselves in a role of God, worrying about planets resources LOL, I mean c'mon give me a break. There's a handful of people marrying older women who can't have kids so they have to give some sort of reason to lie to themselves since it's brutal to say it's because of their age imo. As for a financial standpoint, I don't want to comment on it as people from the West live entirely different life compared to me, so their expense is something that I never had myself most likely, so I don't even know the feel of missing out, but still, it's not like I'm crying over some things that I can't have. We're just mere mortals. I don't know why some folks give themsevles an idea of knowing how the world is going to be. What if world doesn't end in a war and we don't die, what if AI doesn't destroy us all? What if in 15 years it turns out that life just continues, like it used to continue until now? It's easier for men. But it's women that won't be able to get pregnant and we won't be able to get that time back. The "mistake" of that is unmeasurable imo.

Life is great. Literally great. Imo it's quite selfish not to give it someone else, but rather enjoy it yourself. Spend your money on what? Cars? Houses? Travels? Food? Sure, it's all cool and great, but on a bigger scale it's a dogshit and can't come even close to a family.
Life is great right now for many people, and for me too, but I do not think anyone of us is really prepared for the horror show in the next few years. Having children right now IMO is irresponsible and selfish decision.
Leaving aside how some of you easily disregard the destruction of nature and resources, AI is quite possible the biggest threat to humanity ever. And I do not mean that it is going to destroy us when it becomes sentient as it does not need it to be. Our economic system will collapse long before that and I do not want to imagine the consequences.

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Jun 16, 2020
10,905
Life is great right now for many people, and for me too, but I do not think anyone of us is really prepared for the horror show in the next few years. Having children right now IMO is irresponsible and selfish decision.
Leaving aside how some of you easily disregard the destruction of nature and resources, AI is quite possible the biggest threat to humanity ever. And I do not mean that it is going to destroy us when it becomes sentient as it does not need it to be. Our economic system will collapse long before that and I do not want to imagine the consequences.

Изпратено от моят XQ-AU52 с помощта на Tapatalk
People had the same type of arguments during the Cold War, or after the World Wars. I don’t think that it’s as bad as you portray it.

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That’s why you keep them illegitimate and far away until you need the to feel good about yourself before you die.
My cousin always say the same thing but to avoid costs
 

Dostoevsky

Tzu
Administrator
May 27, 2007
88,442
Life is great right now for many people, and for me too, but I do not think anyone of us is really prepared for the horror show in the next few years. Having children right now IMO is irresponsible and selfish decision.
Leaving aside how some of you easily disregard the destruction of nature and resources, AI is quite possible the biggest threat to humanity ever. And I do not mean that it is going to destroy us when it becomes sentient as it does not need it to be. Our economic system will collapse long before that and I do not want to imagine the consequences.

Изпратено от моят XQ-AU52 с помощта на Tapatalk
I get you. Partially.

Here's where we disagree ( I suppose). The thing is, you can't control shit and you gotta be aware of that. Not you, but pretty much majority of us. There's certain risk at everything. We may not get to live the next year, who knows what may happen. But we still go on living and we don't think about cancer. I was saying even last year that I expect an economic collapse, I still do expect it, so I'm aware that we'll be in deep shit. Still, imo that is not the reason to make such a harsh decision not to have kids. I don't know about you, but I lived here during the 90s where we faced not only sanctions but hyperinflation that's like top 3 ever faced. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it, but lemme tell you one thing, it sure made us tougher compared to some snowflakes. What I mean is, we still managed to finish school, eat, grow up and turn into decent people. Did we miss out? I guess. But missed out on what? I missed out shitload of things honestly, but I can't say it made me a worse person. If anything, there are more good people among poor folks compared to spoiled rich brats. And no, I'm not saying it's better to live poor. Just stating the fact how money influences certain groups.

And again. It's fine if you say "I'll think about kids in 5 years". That's cool I guess. But if your girl is 35-36, imo that act is quite brutal as you can "miss out" on having a family with a girl you love. It's just an example but you get what I mean. It's fine if she's 20. Shortly, many factors should be considered but imo people are so tinny creatures that they shouldn't plan so many things because it's impossible and the cost is way too big. Stopping life because some things may happen is scary. Not just that, but even if does happen (financial collapse e.g.) it doesn't have to mean the end of the world per se.
 
Jun 16, 2020
10,905
Btw the biggest threat for mankind is without a doubt a meteor hitting us. We pass trough the Tauris Swarm every year, and one unlucky alignment where a meteor is coming from the direction of the sun could potentially blind us and stay under the radar until it’s practically to late. It’s where the Younger Dryas Impact Theory is born aswel. To me that’s more frighting than AI, China or some virus.

 

s4tch

Senior Member
Mar 23, 2015
28,220
I think not having kids is a life choice anyone will regret as they get older.
i can confirm. i was 38 when my son was born and i had a hard time explaining myself why i left it so late. obviously i can't do anything about it now. i can only suggest you guys to not overthink it. just do it. the first year was tough, after that every minute is a blessing

but i get point of those who won't have a kid. a friend recently explained how a kid and a maternity leave would compromise her career, and all i could reply was fair enough. we all have different priorities

we've also given up on things in our careers. now i don't earn nearly as much as i could, but at least i have the freedom to stay at home with my son when he's sick, we can spend plenty of time together, and i wouldn't want it any other way. my son will be 8 in may, we still have a few years until he doesn't want to be around us that much anymore, so we're enjoying the current situation until we can

On the real, you ought to have kids but it comes at a great great risk and expense in the west.
it's not cheap for everyone and in every country, it's certainly something you need to consider. we were lucky enough to already have a few real estates before my son was born, so when he'll need a place to move in, we'll just sell something and buy an other in any city he prefers (unless it's in switzerland or luxembourg or facsimile lol). we're also not opposed to give him well kept used clothes, and my gf has a friend with a son who's like 2 years older and has basically the same build, and she's giving away basically unworn brand clothes regularly. our only additional regular cost on the long run is the food until he goes to university. and so far he's been smart enough so that i can realistically expect him to get a state financed scholarship. he's having some additional stuff like drawing school, horse riding, etc, but those aren't too expensive. half an hour of horse riding cost like $5 even last year lol, it was recently raised to ~$7.5, still not expensive. buying a bycicle or building him the tree house i spent my time with durig last spring/summer aren't terrible either. for example the tree house cost me around $1000 or so in materials, an other few hundreds in tools, and i enjoyed it much more than any project i did in the last few years, and my son loves the thing a lot, so the benefits easily overshadow the costs, be it time or actual money

anyway, when it comes to costs, we were probably both prepared and fortunate enough. we're also closer to being ascetics then hedonists so there's that too haha

bottom line is that there wasn't a single moment when i didn't feel blessed and i never regretted my choice of having a kid. it never felt like a task or a sacrifice
 

Dostoevsky

Tzu
Administrator
May 27, 2007
88,442
i can confirm. i was 38 when my son was born and i had a hard time explaining myself why i left it so late. obviously i can't do anything about it now. i can only suggest you guys to not overthink it. just do it. the first year was tough, after that every minute is a blessing

but i get point of those who won't have a kid. a friend recently explained how a kid and a maternity leave would compromise her career, and all i could reply was fair enough. we all have different priorities
:lol2:

I'm sorry but it's just.... Can't say she's immature but those are the worst ones imo. There's no fucking way they'll ever be happy about their decision in the future. How can a job be a higher priority ffs? HOW? You can start your own busienss at 50, but you can't have kids. What the fuck. What is wrong with people? She may get fired, lose her job, get out of business due to dozens of factors, and then what? Even if she doesn't, I mean, what's the point? I guess I'm wired differently but I get triggered reading shit like that because I see 0 sense in it.
 
Jun 16, 2020
10,905
i can confirm. i was 38 when my son was born and i had a hard time explaining myself why i left it so late. obviously i can't do anything about it now. i can only suggest you guys to not overthink it. just do it. the first year was tough, after that every minute is a blessing

but i get point of those who won't have a kid. a friend recently explained how a kid and a maternity leave would compromise her career, and all i could reply was fair enough. we all have different priorities

we've also given up on things in our careers. now i don't earn nearly as much as i could, but at least i have the freedom to stay at home with my son when he's sick, we can spend plenty of time together, and i wouldn't want it any other way. my son will be 8 in may, we still have a few years until he doesn't want to be around us that much anymore, so we're enjoying the current situation until we can
Funny to see how life’s differentiate, I became a dad at 22, 25 and 30.
 

Quetzalcoatl

It ain't hard to tell
Aug 22, 2007
65,506
I'm with you guys who think having kids is great. Def want some of my own, my only hesitation is being tied to a woman for at least 18 years lol

But I don't think there's anything wrong with people not wanting kids or putting a career first. It's a good thing that people select against being parents. It's better than unsuitable people having children, giving them shit lives and causing them to become shit adults.
 

Dostoevsky

Tzu
Administrator
May 27, 2007
88,442
I'm with you guys who think having kids is great. Def want some of my own, my only hesitation is being tied to a woman for at least 18 years lol

But I don't think there's anything wrong with people not wanting kids or putting a career first. It's a good thing that people select against being parents. It's better than unsuitable people having children, giving them shit lives and causing them to become shit adults.
Nobody knows if he's gonna be a shit parent until they have kids. They are just wild guessing.

Also, if they are successful at careers it means they are (most likely) well disciplined, organized, smart. Which means they have good traits to be good parents.

Why do you think it's a good idea to put career first? What's the point of it? So you have nicer meals and travel places? Sounds fucking terrible. What else?
 

Quetzalcoatl

It ain't hard to tell
Aug 22, 2007
65,506
Nobody knows if he's gonna be a shit parent until they have kids. They are just wild guessing.

Also, if they are successful at careers it means they are (most likely) well disciplined, organized, smart. Which means they have good traits to be good parents.

Why do you think it's a good idea to put career first? What's the point of it? So you have nicer meals and travel places? Sounds fucking terrible. What else?
If you're selfish, impatient, ill tempered, immature or just hate kids, then you shouldn't have kids. Maybe having a child will change you, but no doubt there are many people out there who made the wrong decision having one.
 

Dostoevsky

Tzu
Administrator
May 27, 2007
88,442
If you're selfish, impatient, ill tempered, immature or just hate kids, then you shouldn't have kids. Maybe having a child will change you, but no doubt there are many people out there who made the wrong decision having one.
There are generally morons everywhere but they are not getting excluded from jobs or friendships. What you listed are people I'd punch in the head. However, I don't think those traits necessarily mean a bad parent. A friend of mine is ill tempered and impatient, however, those traits are being shown when there's a kid in the room. I think people are great when it comes to adapting. I've seen a vast number of examples. Sometimes you get great people even if they had shit parents. There are no written rules there imo. Lastly, like I said, we can never know until there are kids around.
 

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