What do you mean by "couldn't exist as a normie" here?
Because being accepted by society would be equivalent to suggesting that they are dull, normal, unexceptional, and unspecial (much like the older SF gay men I mentioned). So there's an identity-driven desire to make yourself as unique and challenging and difficult as possible.
Hence if society were to accept you, and all your quirks -- a falsely stated goal by many, mind you -- you would intentionally have to shift the Overton window further just to provoke and feel special again.
Elon Musk has Twitter to do this. Some LGBTQ people have what they wear and what thing they're boffing.
America needs a mayonnaise ban.
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