Juvenile joke thread (1 Viewer)

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Bongiovi

Senior Member
Jul 12, 2002
587
After her sixth child, Vicki decided that she should have some cosmetic surgery "down below" to restore herself to her former youthful glory because her bomb doors were dangling a bit too low and looked like a ripped out fireplace. Time and childbirth had taken its toll and she reckoned that, with six children now being the limit, she'd tidy things with a nip here and a tuck there so it looked more like a piggy bank slot rather than a badly packed kebab.

Following the operation she awoke from her anaesthetic to find three roses at the end of the bed.

"Who are these from?" she asked the nurse, "They're very nice but I'm a bit confused as to why I've received them."

"Well" said the nurse, "the first is from the surgeon - the operation went so well and you were such a model patient that he wanted to say thanks."

Ahhh, that's really nice" said Vicki.

"The second is from your husband - he's delighted the operation was such a success that he can't wait to get you home. Apparently it'll be the first time he's touched the sides for years and he's very excited.'

"Brilliant!" said Vicki. "And the third?"

"That's from Eric, a patient in the burns unit" said the nurse. "He just wanted to say thanks for his new ears."


___
 

Buy on AliExpress.com

vitoria_Ally

Senior Member
Jul 14, 2002
7,232
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic
condoms.

Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces
to his wife the purchase he just made.

"Olympic condoms?" she blurts. "What makes them so special?"

"There are three colors", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."

"What color are you going to wear tonight?" she asks cheekily.

"Gold of course," says the man proudly.

The wife responds, "Really, why don't you wear Silver, it would
be nice if you came second for a change!"
 

Little Al

New Member
Aug 18, 2003
36
i borrowed this one

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a ******. What is a ******,
and what does it look like?"

"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
 
Sep 28, 2002
13,975
++ [ originally posted by Little Al ] ++
i borrowed this one

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a ******. What is a ******,
and what does it look like?"

"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
:eek:
majed's little brother, does your brother tought you things like that? that's inappropriate :D
 

Majed

Senior Member
Jul 17, 2002
9,630
++ [ originally posted by Little Al ] ++
i borrowed this one

A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a ******. What is a ******,
and what does it look like?"

"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
:LOL:

dont look at me people!! :eek:
 
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