Gym and fitness (72 Viewers)

[Zacheryah]

The fucking truth! I can't rep you, but this is 10 out of 10. Now I wanna celebrate this, but my gf is away for three days

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I don't think that meant giving her bs, but actually doing something.

Well here is the thing. I've been taking training very serious again this year, and wish to continue that. Wich at one side limits the possibilities of going out, and at the other sides gives me plenty of social contact when spending 8 houres/week in the gym.
But if i do go and she comes along, i dont mind that much. Its cute in a way. Her comming along to a day of a trashmetal festival, whilst not liking to music, cause she likes to be with me. Flirting me most of the time.

Alot of people i know after 5 years barely do that

 

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[Fr3sh]

You guys should talk about eachother's insecurities.

 

[Zacheryah]

No, being whipped is having her some control over you in needless harmless things, this is just obbsessive and uber controlling relationship, way beyond whipped. Its not healthy for a single second, let alone being together for years as he describes...I shouldnt judge on two posts alone, but what he said is enough, super unhealthy.


I known peeps who are in relationships like this, never turn out well, gets alot worse down the line, at younger age I left more then 1 relationship myself due to getting overly obbssessive/ controlling or showing signs for it (even one who questionned why I go to cinema with my own frigging sister). You take controll in balanced way and REALLY get comfortable and trusting with eachother in the basics (there is a frigging limit to insecurities, dont feed it) or you leave the unhealthy dynamic.

Whats your opinion about :


1) She doesnt want you to go out alone, but barely wants to go out so you never go out

2) She doesnt want you to go out alone, but if she can will allways come along so you can go, and generally likes to go out alot


I'm in situation 2.

 

[Osman]

Oh she takes more bs from me compared to this. And i'm not that much into going out considering financial situation due to beeing a self sustaining student on a well below minimum wage payment.


That and i'm training on saturdaynoon (gym closes at 4pm), so i cant make it late on fryday and should rest and recover on saturday.

More BS then her not allowing you to be anywhere without her? What, what do you do? Lock her up when you arent around? Because what can be worse then you not being allowed to meet your friends or go anywhere without. FFS I find it unhealthy enough meeting your gf every single day as is (unless your living together, then totally another committed type of relationship).

Its defenitely recommended and healthier to each have their own lives without eachother (there's different stages of relationships for sure, from casual to just before married, but FFS go out with your friends, I only occasionally take whoever I'm seeing on night outs due to different social circles, and they fine with it because they generally know I'm not looking for others). But feeling guilty for seeing friends, or going to gym just to be able to meet them is total BS and nuts man. Hope you realize that.

 

[Raz]

I have no idea really how it really is with you two because I know nothing personally. But from what I read the realationship seems very unhealthy. If it works for you by all means fuck what everyone else is saying. But... But I don't think it's normal. What happens down the line when you will do gym just casually? What then will you need to find another hobby just so you would have an excuse to be social?

Don't take anything too seriously because it's hard to say anything from internet and couple of posts, but shit just don't sound pleasant.

 

[Zacheryah]

You guys should talk about eachother's insecurities.

Yeah but i kinda like that. Even after beeing togheter since late 2009, whenever we go out she'll still be flirting and asking attention all the time. Kinda like it.


Then again, my previous gf was a polar opposite and horrified by such things in public

 

[Raz]

You guys should talk about eachother's insecurities.

That would be a start. Definitely not try to increase those insecurities.

 

[Post Ironic]

My girlfriend refuses to ever go surfing with me, and I'm super happy that this is the case because it means I have that time without her, with friends, or alone, or whatever, just enjoying the waves and the time apart. I could not imagine doing everything with her.

 

[Osman]

So tell me how did that happen, she tripped cause you saw a movie with your sister?

Was like 10 years ago, certifiable chilena, she freaked out because she heard I was on a date with someone in the movies, I had been seeing her for 2 months and she barely met my family, she didnt even ask, just went apeshit crazy, told her it was my fucking sister, and two weeks later ended it with her. One of my best friends is her brother, one of the most zen most calm dudes on this very planet. I cant believe siblings can be as different as these two are.

 

[Raz]

Yeah but i kinda like that. Even after beeing togheter since late 2009, whenever we go out she'll still be flirting and asking attention all the time. Kinda like it.


Then again, my previous gf was a polar opposite and horrified by such things in public

Depends why she does it, if she's just claiming you and doing it out of hers insecurities it won't and happy imo.

 

[Zacheryah]

More BS then her not allowing you to be anywhere without her? What, what do you do? Lock her up when you arent around? Because what can be worse then you not being allowed to meet your friends or go anywhere without. FFS I find it unhealthy enough meeting your gf every single day as is (unless your living together, then totally another committed type of relationship).

Its defenitely recommended and healthier to each have their own lives without eachother (there's different stages of relationships for sure, from casual to just before married, but FFS go out with your friends, I only occasionally take whoever I'm seeing on night outs due to different social circles, and they fine with it because they generally know I'm not looking for others). But feeling guilty for seeing friends, or going to gym just to be able to meet them is total BS and nuts man. Hope you realize that.

Well that last part is relative. I switch around my schedule to make sure the guys i like are there. And that social contact is fine, cause i'm among a few guys with idea's and preferences on stuff i have aswel. I very rarely have that.

If i wouldnt be able to go to the gym when i'd want to, there would be a huge problem, i can assure you

 

[Osman]

Well here is the thing. I've been taking training very serious again this year, and wish to continue that. Wich at one side limits the possibilities of going out, and at the other sides gives me plenty of social contact when spending 8 houres/week in the gym.
But if i do go and she comes along, i dont mind that much. Its cute in a way. Her comming along to a day of a trashmetal festival, whilst not liking to music, cause she likes to be with me. Flirting me most of the time.

Alot of people i know after 5 years barely do that

Thats normal, different interests we endure (to a limit) for the others sake, but you have to realize its not ok to let completely dictate your movement and who you can meet and when, especially when you are hardly neglecting her, the opposite.

 

[Raz]

So that problem will arise in the future, I can assure you that aswell.

 

[Fr3sh]

Was like 10 years ago, certifiable chilena, she freaked out because she heard I was on a date with someone in the movies, I have been seeing her for 2 months and she barely met my family, she didnt even ask, just went apeshit crazy, told her it was my fucking sister, and two weeks later ended it with her. One of my best friends is her brother, one of the most zen most calm dudes on this very planet. I cant believe siblings can be as different as these two are.

Ahahahah I have a good friend of mine who's chileno he claims his people are pretty temperamental

And @Zach get her to take walks outside alone, or get her into a hobby or something

 

[Raz]

sandwich making, preferably.

 

[Osman]

Well that last part is relative. I switch around my schedule to make sure the guys i like are there. And that social contact is fine, cause i'm among a few guys with idea's and preferences on stuff i have aswel. I very rarely have that.

If i wouldnt be able to go to the gym when i'd want to, there would be a huge problem, i can assure you

I know this is the gym thread, but lets drop the gym part of your life for a second, even if its big portion of your life, you yourself said she doesnt allow you to take a basic drink with a friend or see them anywhere without her, thats not ok bro. Thats all I'm saying, nothing else. Its one thing to those bit insecure and in serious relationship to not be all that comfortable with your bf going constantly out with his single friends 24/7, but this is not the case according to you. Not healthy to be this restrictive in any kind of relationship, to a point, no should dictate what you do or where you go because of their own insecurities, and the same applies to you when it comes to her.

 

[Zacheryah]

Depends why she does it, if she's just claiming you and doing it out of hers insecurities it won't and happy imo.

Good question that.

Never came up to me. Probably mostly cause i like getting that attention for her. And when watching a show of some sort, dont mind feeling that ass from heaven against my lap.



Dont know how she does it, but kinda feels like going out with a girl you've only been togheter with shortly, the teasing and flirting. So rarely see that in other relations this length

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I know this is the gym thread, but lets drop the gym part of your life for a second, even if its big portion of your life, you yourself said she doesnt allow you to take a basic drink with a friend or see them anywhere without her, thats not ok bro. Thats all I'm saying, nothing else. Its one thing to those bit insecure and in serious relationship to not be all that comfortable with your bf going constantly out with his single friends 24/7, but this is not the case according to you. Not healthy to be this restrictive in any kind of relationship, to a point, no should dictate what you do or where you go because of their own insecurities, and the same applies to you when it comes to her.

Thats the tough thing. I try to get around the situation by going to a friend when she's gone shopping with her mother, or sister, of girlfriends.

 

[Raz]

All in all you should talk with her about this stuff imo. In the end, anyway you would look at it, it should help more then continuing this trend.

 

[Osman]

Thats the tough thing. I try to get around the situation by going to a friend when she's gone shopping with her mother, or sister, of girlfriends.

This is just SO WRONG man. You have to realize it. Its not that tough, its not easy, but its not tough to take back basic controll dude. You shouldnt be some bizzaro version of a abused housewife cowering and lying to get around and do the basics you should be free to do. This is basic communcations stuff dude, just talk to her, and come to common ground or something that should be very very very rudimentary, which is trust, you been together long time as you said, that trust should be unquestionned and come natural, not have this bastardized version of it where you have to hide your own movement from your own other half.

 

[Raz]

Thats the tough thing. I try to get around the situation by going to a friend when she's gone shopping with her mother, or sister, of girlfriends.

Fuck that man, that's not right. That is just not right. If you ever get married you'll never leave her sight, I give you 99%.