Favorite Stand-up Comedians (1 Viewer)

Jan 24, 2004
2,179
#6
yes, at least he did....he is very very famous in Germany but went to New York two years ago. there he started again from bottom...selling his own tickets on sidewalk and acting in small pubs (in English). but now he is back in Germany ... I don't know whether he ever published officially a cd in English, though I don't think so.
 

Slagathor

Bedpan racing champion
Jul 25, 2001
22,708
#8
Javier Guzman :star::star::star: :thumb:

www.javierguzman.com

He's Dutch and I don't think he performs in English but I'll translate and post some of his quotes from his last theatre show:

On George W Bush:
"It's unfair. It's unfair that JFK was shot from an apartment above a bookshop and if someone ought to be shot right now it would be George W Bush. But we all know he never goes anywhere near a bookshop..."

On immigration:
"So our crown prince goes go Ghana and apologises for slavery. 300 years later. I wonder how that went... Guy stands there, says: 'Geez.... lots of negros here... Yeah, bout that slavery thing; we're sorry! Want them back?"

On his spanish background:
"Now you might know I'm half Spanish, half Dutch, and if not you know now. That effectively means that I bug women all the time, but afterwards, I still let them pay for their own drinks."
 
May 30, 2004
2,578
#9
++ [ originally posted by Erik ] ++
Javier Guzman :star::star::star: :thumb:

www.javierguzman.com

He's Dutch and I don't think he performs in English but I'll translate and post some of his quotes from his last theatre show:

On George W Bush:
"It's unfair. It's unfair that JFK was shot from an apartment above a bookshop and if someone ought to be shot right now it would be George W Bush. But we all know he never goes anywhere near a bookshop..."

On immigration:
"So our crown prince goes go Ghana and apologises for slavery. 300 years later. I wonder how that went... Guy stands there, says: 'Geez.... lots of negros here... Yeah, bout that slavery thing; we're sorry! Want them back?"

On his spanish background:
"Now you might know I'm half Spanish, half Dutch, and if not you know now. That effectively means that I bug women all the time, but afterwards, I still let them pay for their own drinks."
he seems pretty funny.... none of his shows are in english ? the whole point of stand up comedian is the way he presents the jokes... if you kno if he has any in english .. plz do tell
 

Slagathor

Bedpan racing champion
Jul 25, 2001
22,708
#10
Well I double checked his site but he only does his show in Dutch.

He brings his stuff well though; good use of language, both verbal and non-verbal.

 
Jan 24, 2004
2,179
#11
the shows live from his great variety of gesture and facial expressions. moreover he is a Bavarian and likes to play with different language combinations...Bavarian slang vs German, Bavarian slang vs English, German vs Dutch, slangs of former West Germany vs Eastern ones..also acting with typical stereotypes from different German states.. and so on. He is a genius.

new parents
"The most stupid I've ever heard about having a baby. A buddy couple said to me: Yeah we are doing the cat test." What the hell is a cat test? Well you can test how it is to be responsible for a small creature. Eh? Are you dumb? When a cat is crying you can throw it againt the wall."

"Are you dorky? In English: Are you bush?"

"Yeah we will overthrow the government with invasion support of the Americans. Reason for that matter? Eh.. we will find later. We don't have to provide the CIA false evidences. We have Superstar, Starsearch - we have musical weapons of massdistruction, the Iraq is dreaming about."

 

Slagathor

Bedpan racing champion
Jul 25, 2001
22,708
#13
++ [ originally posted by kurvengeflüster ] ++
new parents
"The most stupid I've ever heard about having a baby. A buddy couple said to me: Yeah we are doing the cat test." What the hell is a cat test? Well you can test how it is to be responsible for a small creature. Eh? Are you dumb? When a cat is crying you can throw it againt the wall."

Hehehehe :D
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,859
#14
++ [ originally posted by kurvengeflüster ] ++
new parents
"The most stupid I've ever heard about having a baby. A buddy couple said to me: Yeah we are doing the cat test." What the hell is a cat test? Well you can test how it is to be responsible for a small creature. Eh? Are you dumb? When a cat is crying you can throw it againt the wall."
Best punchline I've seen in a while! :star::D
 
OP
OP
nosubstitute959
Jul 19, 2003
3,286
#16
A couple of his quotes:

"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good as a wall. I played a wall once. It was relentless."


"When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying here you throw this away."
 

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
76,320
#18
Patton Oswalt and Mitch Hedberg, definitely. Used to be more of an Eddie Izzard fan too, but his act has sort of tired a little over the past few years.
 

Martin

Senior Member
Dec 31, 2000
56,859
#20
++ [ originally posted by Blandest ] ++
Bill Hicks, Peter Kay, Billy Connelly, Chris Rock can be good but usually hes just a jerk :D
River told me about Peter Key, he's quite decent but he can't measure up to greats like Chris Rock, Chris wipes the floor with him. Peter Key is like for the whole family, Chris is just ruthless.
 

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