Favorite Stand-up Comedians (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter nosubstitute959
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yes, at least he did....he is very very famous in Germany but went to New York two years ago. there he started again from bottom...selling his own tickets on sidewalk and acting in small pubs (in English). but now he is back in Germany ... I don't know whether he ever published officially a cd in English, though I don't think so.
Javier Guzman 
:thumb:
www.javierguzman.com
He's Dutch and I don't think he performs in English but I'll translate and post some of his quotes from his last theatre show:
On George W Bush:
"It's unfair. It's unfair that JFK was shot from an apartment above a bookshop and if someone ought to be shot right now it would be George W Bush. But we all know he never goes anywhere near a bookshop..."
On immigration:
"So our crown prince goes go Ghana and apologises for slavery. 300 years later. I wonder how that went... Guy stands there, says: 'Geez.... lots of negros here... Yeah, bout that slavery thing; we're sorry! Want them back?"
On his spanish background:
"Now you might know I'm half Spanish, half Dutch, and if not you know now. That effectively means that I bug women all the time, but afterwards, I still let them pay for their own drinks."
:thumb:www.javierguzman.com
He's Dutch and I don't think he performs in English but I'll translate and post some of his quotes from his last theatre show:
On George W Bush:
"It's unfair. It's unfair that JFK was shot from an apartment above a bookshop and if someone ought to be shot right now it would be George W Bush. But we all know he never goes anywhere near a bookshop..."
On immigration:
"So our crown prince goes go Ghana and apologises for slavery. 300 years later. I wonder how that went... Guy stands there, says: 'Geez.... lots of negros here... Yeah, bout that slavery thing; we're sorry! Want them back?"
On his spanish background:
"Now you might know I'm half Spanish, half Dutch, and if not you know now. That effectively means that I bug women all the time, but afterwards, I still let them pay for their own drinks."
++ [ originally posted by Erik ] ++
Javier Guzman :thumb:
www.javierguzman.com
He's Dutch and I don't think he performs in English but I'll translate and post some of his quotes from his last theatre show:
On George W Bush:
"It's unfair. It's unfair that JFK was shot from an apartment above a bookshop and if someone ought to be shot right now it would be George W Bush. But we all know he never goes anywhere near a bookshop..."
On immigration:
"So our crown prince goes go Ghana and apologises for slavery. 300 years later. I wonder how that went... Guy stands there, says: 'Geez.... lots of negros here... Yeah, bout that slavery thing; we're sorry! Want them back?"
On his spanish background:
"Now you might know I'm half Spanish, half Dutch, and if not you know now. That effectively means that I bug women all the time, but afterwards, I still let them pay for their own drinks."
Javier Guzman
:thumb:www.javierguzman.com
He's Dutch and I don't think he performs in English but I'll translate and post some of his quotes from his last theatre show:
On George W Bush:
"It's unfair. It's unfair that JFK was shot from an apartment above a bookshop and if someone ought to be shot right now it would be George W Bush. But we all know he never goes anywhere near a bookshop..."
On immigration:
"So our crown prince goes go Ghana and apologises for slavery. 300 years later. I wonder how that went... Guy stands there, says: 'Geez.... lots of negros here... Yeah, bout that slavery thing; we're sorry! Want them back?"
On his spanish background:
"Now you might know I'm half Spanish, half Dutch, and if not you know now. That effectively means that I bug women all the time, but afterwards, I still let them pay for their own drinks."
the shows live from his great variety of gesture and facial expressions. moreover he is a Bavarian and likes to play with different language combinations...Bavarian slang vs German, Bavarian slang vs English, German vs Dutch, slangs of former West Germany vs Eastern ones..also acting with typical stereotypes from different German states.. and so on. He is a genius.
new parents
"The most stupid I've ever heard about having a baby. A buddy couple said to me: Yeah we are doing the cat test." What the hell is a cat test? Well you can test how it is to be responsible for a small creature. Eh? Are you dumb? When a cat is crying you can throw it againt the wall."
"Are you dorky? In English: Are you bush?"
"Yeah we will overthrow the government with invasion support of the Americans. Reason for that matter? Eh.. we will find later. We don't have to provide the CIA false evidences. We have Superstar, Starsearch - we have musical weapons of massdistruction, the Iraq is dreaming about."
new parents
"The most stupid I've ever heard about having a baby. A buddy couple said to me: Yeah we are doing the cat test." What the hell is a cat test? Well you can test how it is to be responsible for a small creature. Eh? Are you dumb? When a cat is crying you can throw it againt the wall."
"Are you dorky? In English: Are you bush?"
"Yeah we will overthrow the government with invasion support of the Americans. Reason for that matter? Eh.. we will find later. We don't have to provide the CIA false evidences. We have Superstar, Starsearch - we have musical weapons of massdistruction, the Iraq is dreaming about."
++ [ originally posted by Blandest ] ++
Bill Hicks, Peter Kay, Billy Connelly, Chris Rock can be good but usually hes just a jerk
Bill Hicks, Peter Kay, Billy Connelly, Chris Rock can be good but usually hes just a jerk