Classy bit over here (the official Inter.. i mean joke thread) (5 Viewers)

Desmond

Desmond

Senior Member
#501
Jul 12, 2002
8,938
#501
12 Shots

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."
 

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Desmond

Desmond

Senior Member
#503
Jul 12, 2002
8,938
#503
Accidental Bonding

A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.
After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "And here's another miracle. Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. He then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
 
.AB.

.AB.

Mafioso
#513
Jul 15, 2002
1,042
#513
++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
Couple of funny computer quotes..

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Can you compile your Windows? ;)

Using Windows is like going back to second grade math

Linux: Because a Pc is a terrible thing to waste

Type any 11-digit prime number to continue

May the source be with you :D

The meta-turing test states that a machine is truly intelligent when it performs the Turing Test on objects of its own creation.

The Five Phases of Development: 1) Excitement 2) Disillusion 3) Search For The Guilty 4) Punish The Innocent 5) Reward The Uninvolved. WARNING: We think lots of people are exploitable.

Pick the fone, call a random number and shout: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...AAAA" (more than 1024). Chances are that the connection will get dropped.

ACK and you shall receive.

"Ok, but before that's done, I'd like to see a law against referring to people who write in VB as 'programmers.'"

If a function be advertised to return an error code in the event of difficulties, thou shalt check for that code, yea, even though the checks triple the size of thy code and produce aches in thy typing fingers, for if thou thinkest ``it cannot happen to me'', the gods shall surely punish thee for thy arrogance. :D

Ooh, I love your magazine. Especially the 'Enrich Your Wordpower' section. I think it's really...really... really...good. -- Homer Simpson (not linux but whatever) :D

We are experiencing MVS processor spin loops, the programs are running while holding a disabled CPU. This is causing XCF communication delays to the point where we are losing VTAM RTP routing, are suffering OSPF adjacency failures on TCP/IP dynamic routing and MIM VCF failures. Whatever this code is, it should NOT be propagated to production or we run the risk of losing the development plex if XCF signaling is adversely impacted by processor disabled spin loops. :dazed:

Emacs is an excellent operating system, a shame it hasn't got a decent text editor.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention
Click to expand...
 
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