Dateline: 1945 hours 28 March 2006. Chxta was stuck at work on the 13th Floor of UBA House Marina (E-payments Department) with his boss Ernest Uduje, and Ike Kanu, a manager in UBA. We were trying to figure out why the UBA VPN is simply refusing to accept e-payments over a secure network. You see, there is no point doing e-payments if your network is not secure, so it just has to work...
Correction.
Dateline: 1945 hours 28 March 2006. Ernest Uduje and Ike Kanu were brainstroming trying to figure out why the UBA VPN was not accepting e-payments over a secure network, while Chxta was sitting with them, silently cursing them, all who gave birth to them, and Kunle Adeniji, the UBA staffer who got us into the mess in the first place, and promptly left at 1900 in order to get home on time and watch the same match that Chxta was now obviously going to miss. This state of affairs continued up until 2025 hours when the first text message arrived. In total I have received 53 text messages since that message...
The first message read: Goal 2 Arse, Fabregas (39). Shit!!!. It came from Ade Adene, a Juventino like myself, whom I had sent an SOS to update me on the situation since I wouldn't be watching the game. He did his best, and I can't after the match seriously say that I envy him based on what I have heard of our performance so far...
The second text message came from Mayowa Adekoya, a colleague of mine who said: Told u men, we spanking ur butts.... Hope it continues. That text was the first of a deluge of texts from Arsenal fans which I can't be arsed to type, but I will go through a choice few before making a little comment about the performance based on the report I read on Soccernet.com.
Two of the more outstanding texts came last night, the first from Osas Iyasere went: Old lady comes to Highbury to suck our dicks. Forza Arsenal. That text for me is so distasteful and is very much the work of a brainless cunt. Osas, if you are sexually deprived why not go and find an asewo for service? What are you sending obscenities to me for? Besides, the last time I saw you (a year ago now), you were screaming Up Chelsea. Before that you were screaming Up ManU. So what happened? At least I am stable with my club, not jumping from club to club depending on who is doing well at the moment. Then what is this Forza Arsenal? How ignorant can you get? Forza is for Italian teams. Get a life and try and learn more about football. The other outstanding text was a benign one from Andrew Enenmoh who said, Gunners 4 life. The old lady went down. I cant really beef u because of ur mail of dis morning. How u dey? At least someone remembers that I had earlier written of my fears concerning the game, so what is all the gloating about?
Ayo Soebi said, no excuses, we whipped u good. True, Ayo and I will say enjoy your glory. I won't support Arsenal against any other team except they get to the final and are facing Milan. For crying out loud, I would support Chelski against Milan, so nothing new there. Julum Nwanze, my baby brother simply sent this: hehehe... I owe him a beating next time I see him, problem is that he is a head taller than I am and he gyms! Then again, he is still full of youthful exuberance, while my joints are beginning to creak from age!
Peter Ikenebomeh said, cheta i lost a lot of money on juve's head and a lot of arses are gloating at me. find a better team to support. dat was d worst display ive seen in dis champions league. Pete, I never asked u to bet on Juve. We've known each other 20 odd years and while you've been a ManU fan for some 8 years now, I've been a Juve fan for 22 odd years now. Why should I change teams? Sorry we put up such a piss poor display, and I am embarrassed as well, and saddened at the same time, but then again, I clearly stated yesterday that we haven't been playing well at all, and from what all the reports say, it shows. You need to visit the forum Juventuz.com, and see how Juventini the world over are clamoring for Don Fabio's head.
Akachi Okoro said, Sorry ur team took such a trashin. Going forward tell them not to be so reckless when behind. They've killed the return leg for themselves. Now that text brings us to what should be in about 8 days time. Sorry to say, but based on what everyone at Juventuz says, even the most optimistic Juventini believe that we are out of it this year, so what can I who didn't watch the match say? We couldn't even get an away goal!
The Champions is over for us this season, so let us manage the scant consolation of lo scudetto number 29. Forza Juve.
As for all you Arsenal fans, abeg make my phone rest.