I'll give it a go. Hear me out!
Joga bonito baby!
My boy has played 7 matches in the last 2 years for Al-Hilal & currently sitting out a hamstring injury. He's working on gaining the 'love handles'. This is going to be handy later at the negotiations table.
Lands in Turin in a flashy private jet just before Christmas surrounded by his harem. The Italians go mad! Chine launches an investigation immediately. Rumours are jj will be docked 25 points.
Meanwhile Neymar's watch is stolen on the way to jj medical. Not a big deal. My man has a walk in watch closet unlike FatAss Luiz who is currently depressed due to his house being burgled.
Anyway he meets up with Giuntoli and they hit it off immediately. Talks move into Neymar's yacht parked in Monaco. Giuntoli is smelling the commission.
@Turk_Bianconero is going nuts on Tuz. Neymar's 'love handles' creep into the negotiations. The commission has to go up. Neymar spins a toothpick in his fingers and writes a figure on a tissue. Giuntoli looks at it & smiles. The two men shake hands and jj is about to get ransacked.
The next morning at jj medical Neymar is having his medical dressed up in a NASA space suit. Everything looks great! He passes the medicals with flying colours! There are whispers going around that it was Raspadori in the space suit but Giuntoli has been generous. He has also threatened staff at jj medical that he will reveal why so many players are always injured.
A press conference is arranged for the unveiling of Neymar. He walks into a fully packed jj stadium draped in a flowing white thawb. Gazzetta promises revealing pics of Neymar in a Sunday page 3 special. The whole of Italy is in a trance. Tuz is bursting at it's seams. Several members are on suicide watch.
@Fr3sh is having a blast!
Meanwhile Neymar's wages are causing a stir in the team. Dusan is raging while Fagioli is weighing up the situation. What are the odds?
Ok. Fuck this I am tired