What Are You Doing Right Now? (303 Viewers)

[IliveForJuve]

I said I can't control feeling affection or attraction or love or whatever (just so we are good on semantics) for a kid's parent but I can make a controlled conscious decision not to sleep with him.

I actually agree with this. I can't help but feel really attracted to some people even if I just met them. And I'm not just talking about sex here.

 

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[king Ale]

That's totally fine, but I really don't understand why someone would put themself in such a position.

Alright

 

[IliveForJuve]

Everyone has different definitions of what getting over someone means. So it's probably not at all what you're thinking.

Yeah, I just figured that out

 

[Hængebøffer]

Speaking of feelings you can't control
This song just started on the radio and I got some tears in my eyes, cause it reminds me of my father who is still having a difficult time after the course with cancer:

 

[Seven]

I actually agree with this. I can't help but feel really attracted to some people even if I just met them. And I'm not just talking about sex here.

Of course you can't. There are lots of attractive women on this planet. I'm sure most of us feel attraction towards another person every day. But you can't say that feeling alone is love.

 

[king Ale]

Speaking of feelings you can't control
This song just started on the radio and I got some tears in my eyes, cause it reminds me of my father who is still having a difficult time after the course with cancer:

That song

 

[Hængebøffer]

Alright

I'm not a technocratic fool who can't think for myself, but in this case there's just so much that can go wrong.

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That song

It's beautiful.

 

[IliveForJuve]

Of course you can't. There are lots of attractive women on this planet. I'm sure most of us feel attraction towards another person every day. But you can't say that feeling alone is love.

Of course, it's not love. But it's a strong interest in someone you find physically attractive or interesting overall (yah, redundant). It makes me wanna talk to them, spend time with them and get to know them.

It's not that hard to walk away from such temptations but some people can't handle it. Hell, I don't know if I'd be able to stay away from every situation presented to me.

 

[Seven]

Of course, it's not love. But it's a strong interest in someone you find physically attractive or interesting overall. It makes me wanna talk to them, spend time with them and get to know them.

It's not that hard to walk away from such temptations but some people can't handle it. Hell, I don't know if I'd be able to stay away from every situation presented to me.

Yes, it is hard. But imo you still have control over whether or not you let it develop into love. I believe that people who refuse to admit to this, are often trying to shift blame for some of their mistakes.

 

[GordoDeCentral]

Which ones?

Teacher with parent, for that matter any consent relationship: stat rape, incest...

 

[.zero]

@Martin What it do?

 

[Martin]

@Martin What it do?

dem tonsils be poppin

 

[.zero]

dem tonsils be poppin

Awww skeet skeeet

 

[Dostoevsky]

Wow, holy shit, huge riots in Macedonia. Possible civil war at this point

 

[.zero]

Oh no

what are we going to do about this?

 

[Dostoevsky]

Sell weapons and earn money.

 

[Seven]

Sell weapons and earn money.

Lol. Someone is going to anyway.

 

[.zero]

Sell weapons and earn money.

Sounds like a really good idea

 

[swag]

I sorely missed some good stuff here...

I agree

Staying away from someone because you are getting too emotionally invested? :wth:

Oh, but it's absolutely done. For sure.

I get your point but I also get seven's and the people agreeing with him. It's normal to have your heart broken. It is also normal to get over it and realize that girls are everywhere and no girl you have not been in a seriously long relationship with is worth that kind of headache.

I don't want to pick on anyone but yeah, it would have to come down to inexperience. Putting the pussy on a pedestal so to speak. You do that until you realize there is no reason to do it. Not getting over someone you never dated or fucked? That's definitely an outlier and I feel like if you got with other girls, you'd totally forget about her. Everyone has that thing about them that makes them special, and wonderful, and in control of your every thought. But the truth is everyone is special, not her. She's just the one you decided to focus on.

The fly in the ointment here, IMO, is that not every attractive member of the opposite sex is the same. IMO, in my personal experience there are only a handful of people you meet in life that you truly connect with. When you're young you believe you can do it with all sorts of people, but as I've gotten older I've found how much rarer it is in real life than you think when you're new at it.

So when you come across those people whom you really connect with later on, you know how unusual that is... and it isn't just as interchangeable with anyone else out there with a pulse and who looks good in a selfie.

Our emotions are ours. They're projections as much as they really are about the other person. For someone arguing that almost all behaviour is inherently selfish, it's funny that you can't see how self-centered we are.

The fact you, a woman in her thirties, still don't believe you have at least some degree over control over who you fall in love with speaks volumes. Either you really are that naive or you're just desperate to be special.

And I pity you. Because you have not yet reached the level of maturity to realise that making conscious decisions in the field of love does not devalue the human experience, but rather makes any connection stronger and more intimate.

But you go ahead and watch the notebook again.

I have to side with Hoori on this one. The heart wants what it wants. I think you can try to rationalize it as much as you can with whom you do or don't fall in love with, but it has nothing to do with reason in the end.

So you do agree falling for someone is not loving them but rather, like the word suggests, a slip up in our self control. The fact is the only reason we are attracted to each other is to procreate, and from a woman's perspective the couple is her best chance for survival.

IMO, there is a huge difference between what attracts people and what keeps them together. It's almost as if they were totally different forces.

It has nothing to do with attention (unless she's a bitch) but from my experience I can say that women are more mature than men, specially that once a relationship is over men tend to question their ego and that's not an easy thing to deal with in such a situation.

Women are generally more adept at relationships than men as a whole, IMO. Whether that's nurture, nature or both, we can argue.

But I strongly disagree here. You should, as an adult and professional, be able not put yourself in a position, where you fall in love with the parent. You can be physically attracted to the person, but that's biology, I guess.

I disagree actually. I think you can avoid those situations, but doing so is in itself a sort of reaction that some here were calling rather infantile ... the same kind of reaction that made Fr3sh break things off with someone he was getting too scarily into.

I'm sure avoiding someone you're starting to develop feelings for might be the safe option. But don't you feel it a little odd if you have parents and young people ghosting each other and playing games like that rather than face their own ability to act responsibility through their feelings while still maintaining a normally required discourse?

Aversion therapy isn't something I would call the pinnacle of maturity, emotional or otherwise.

Maybe. Personally I have seen a lot of people mistake infatuation for love. A lot of people also wrongly attribute certain characteristics to a person, just because they are very attracted to this person - this is something that I have seen more often in women, when they justify a man's behaviour, just because they are attracted to him.

Some of this has been confirmed through studies by the way. We often are more trusting towards goodlooking people. Wrongly assuming that because a person is pretty he or she will also be trustworthy.

We confuse wishful thinking for reality all the time.

Yes, it is hard. But imo you still have control over whether or not you let it develop into love. I believe that people who refuse to admit to this, are often trying to shift blame for some of their mistakes.

Again, controlling whether you let something develop into love or not is nonsensical to me. Especially since the only real tactics to prevent that are emotionally immature, IMO.

 

[Seven]

The fly in the ointment here, IMO, is that not every attractive member of the opposite sex is the same. IMO, in my personal experience there are only a handful of people you meet in life that you truly connect with. When you're young you believe you can do it with all sorts of people, but as I've gotten older I've found how much rarer it is in real life than you think when you're new at it.

So when you come across those people whom you really connect with later on, you know how unusual that is... and it isn't just as interchangeable with anyone else out there with a pulse and who looks good in a selfie.

It's not. And you're right. You don't meet that many people you connect with. But you do meet more than one.

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I'm sure avoiding someone you're starting to develop feelings for might be the safe option. But don't you feel it a little odd if you have parents and young people ghosting each other and playing games like that rather than face their own ability to act responsibility through their feelings while still maintaining a normally required discourse?

Unless we're talking about an abusive partner / friend, there is no excuse for ghosting people. It's emotional torture and completely unnecessary as you could simply tell people you do not want to engage with them any further.

Again, controlling whether you let something develop into love or not is nonsensical to me. Especially since the only real tactics to prevent that are emotionally immature, IMO.

I disagree. It's immature if you run away from the problem or avoid having to explain why you don't want this to go on, but being able to show some restraint in your personal relationships is far from immature. Like I've said before, we also know actions have an effect on our emotions and feelings. The more effort you put in a relationship, the more you often think you're in love. Sometimes you have to decide it's not really worth pursuing, even if you wanted to.