What Are You Doing Right Now? (486 Viewers)
- Thread starter ßöмßäяðîëя
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I can't bring myself to tell anyone else, not friends, not families, so I will write it here.
My boyfriend and I, after a 2.5 yr relationship had decided to call it off. I wanted marriage, he wanted the same, however is not able to meet my condition to convert to Islam. I have no strength to entertain any "religion is stupid" argument etc., but why it is important to me is not because it is what is required as a Muslim, it is my own personal choice - I was brought up as one, and would like to live in a household that shared the same values. Religions or not, I think couples need to have common, shared values, especially when it comes to raising children.
Anyway on paper he could do it but he has told me he does not think he can live up to my expectations in practice, and he is not comfortable with the idea of raising mus kids in Australia (he is Australian.) So after many rounds of discussions, we both finally grew a pair and called it off after many, many tears.
It is such a shit feeling having to break up when you both really love each other but I don't think love can sustain a marriage and these issues need to be addressed now before it bites us both in the ass in the future (well HAD a future, not anymore I guess.)
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH can't stop crying. Farken can't imagine having to start all over again. We are, were, both each other's everything.
My boyfriend and I, after a 2.5 yr relationship had decided to call it off. I wanted marriage, he wanted the same, however is not able to meet my condition to convert to Islam. I have no strength to entertain any "religion is stupid" argument etc., but why it is important to me is not because it is what is required as a Muslim, it is my own personal choice - I was brought up as one, and would like to live in a household that shared the same values. Religions or not, I think couples need to have common, shared values, especially when it comes to raising children.
Anyway on paper he could do it but he has told me he does not think he can live up to my expectations in practice, and he is not comfortable with the idea of raising mus kids in Australia (he is Australian.) So after many rounds of discussions, we both finally grew a pair and called it off after many, many tears.
It is such a shit feeling having to break up when you both really love each other but I don't think love can sustain a marriage and these issues need to be addressed now before it bites us both in the ass in the future (well HAD a future, not anymore I guess.)
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH can't stop crying. Farken can't imagine having to start all over again. We are, were, both each other's everything.
Damn, first and foremost I think you guys did the right thing. To be able to sit and clearly sort out the finer details takes a lot of courage. You might feel like your world is ending right now but both of you have saved each other a lot of heartache. This goes for the kid's too. I feel for you & salute your courage. Hang in there.
PS/Why are you banned?
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Now is not the time to pick on such petty details.
PS/Why are you banned?
- - - Updated - - -
Now is not the time to pick on such petty details.
I disagree. It is very much the time. When people are heartbroken because they think they have lost the love of their lives, it is time to remind them that perhaps they have not. She sees it as impossible to raise children with this man. Either she made a mistake and mistook the same religion for sharing the same values or she was right in calling it off. If she was right, she clearly has not lost her everything.
Figure of speech man. This just happened hours ago give me a break 
I understand that with everything else in life, this too shall pass. I have seen it many times, where people break up with their so called 'loves of their lives' and then move on to find someone else.
I just never thought I would end up as one, and boy it's painful as hell right now
I understand that with everything else in life, this too shall pass. I have seen it many times, where people break up with their so called 'loves of their lives' and then move on to find someone else.
I just never thought I would end up as one, and boy it's painful as hell right now
Figure of speech man. This just happened hours ago give me a break
I understand that with everything else in life, this too shall pass. I have seen it many times, where people break up with their so called 'loves of their lives' and then move on to find someone else.
I just never thought I would end up as one, and boy it's painful as hell right now
I understand that with everything else in life, this too shall pass. I have seen it many times, where people break up with their so called 'loves of their lives' and then move on to find someone else.
I just never thought I would end up as one, and boy it's painful as hell right now
.
Sorry to hear that Sally, good that you know what you want exactly, and that you both could discuss it honestly and make the tough call, its not common and seen lots of heartache down the line with couples that didnt have this talk before hand, hopefully you will not regret it and move past it quickly enough.
Regarding religion, religion and values is not allways the same thing, its a big deal if you are religious, but also quite possible to come to an understanding without sharing one. Most in my family/friends who married non-muslim generally goes the way of them converting (or them finding a convert etc), but also plenty I know who marry a non muslim, who they dont necessarily share the same religious belief but quite defenitely as individuals share the same values and understand what they want completely. Takes alot of comprise and sacrifice and honest dialogue to make it work, but its not impossible to make it work. It depends also on how religious one is, different between being culturally muslim and being strict practizing one ofcourse.
Regarding religion, religion and values is not allways the same thing, its a big deal if you are religious, but also quite possible to come to an understanding without sharing one. Most in my family/friends who married non-muslim generally goes the way of them converting (or them finding a convert etc), but also plenty I know who marry a non muslim, who they dont necessarily share the same religious belief but quite defenitely as individuals share the same values and understand what they want completely. Takes alot of comprise and sacrifice and honest dialogue to make it work, but its not impossible to make it work. It depends also on how religious one is, different between being culturally muslim and being strict practizing one ofcourse.