What Are You Doing Right Now? (308 Viewers)

[swag]

You know what's worse? Coming home from school in the middle of the day and seeing your fathers' corpse lying in the living room, and you mom in the worst state you've probably ever seen her.

Or at least, that's my most horrible experience.

Damn, that completely sucks. Man, how horrible.

This world is stupid.

We kind of got that as your impression, Sam.

But... it's the only one we've got. And somehow we have to share it with Leo Bonucci.

Yeah, I know that - it's not like I'm plunging into an existential crisis here . Just feeling a bit down, since it was my first funeral and her husband and his children were absolutely crushed.

This isn't going to sound like a cheer-up, but get used to it. It happens to everybody eventually. Like all of us, you'll have to figure out your own comfort zone with it.

Now Dr. Bisco is a major stand-up guy no matter what. This much I know for a fact. But I wondered if there's a real sense of experience in his posts here on this topic. I've wondered if countries or regions that have seen much more violence and bloodshed (and misery) in their time have a much more connected understanding of life and death. It's easy to be sheltered about this in many developed countries.

 

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[Sheik Yerbouti]

Damn, that completely sucks. Man, how horrible.

Yeah, it was. Plus, I was only 9 years old.

 

[Bisco]

Damn, that completely sucks. Man, how horrible.



We kind of got that as your impression, Sam.

But... it's the only one we've got. And somehow we have to share it with Leo Bonucci.



This isn't going to sound like a cheer-up, but get used to it. It happens to everybody eventually. Like all of us, you'll have to figure out your own comfort zone with it.

Now Dr. Bisco is a major stand-up guy no matter what. This much I know for a fact. But I wondered if there's a real sense of experience in his posts here on this topic. I've wondered if countries or regions that have seen much more violence and bloodshed (and misery) in their time have a much more connected understanding of life and death. It's easy to be sheltered about this in many developed countries.

actually in this part of the world greg religion plays a massive role specially when it comes to death. i mean to say whether muslim or coptic here for instance death is looked upon as sth every one will go thru no matter how long he lives there has to be an end. ( this implies to all things in our worldly life if i can put it that way) we r encouraged to grief for sure, but not to take it over board. when i say over board i mean the cultural aspects of grief. for example in religion you pay condolences at the burial site and a great emphasis is put in the funeral i mean it means a lot if men walk behind the funeral and say prayers at the grave. now the cultural aspect kicks in right after that and between you and me it makes it harder than it should be. for instance when my dad passed away i was off course with him until we buried him and right after that moment as a human i just wanted a lone time. i'm sure any one who has been thru such an expirence would really want some time on his own. i was surprised when family members told me there is a three day ceremony ( not really ceremony its more like a get together so people can come and pay there condolences to me in person since i'm his eldest son), there is no way out of it and to be honest its a great and warmly gesture but 3 days is too much!! in islam the mourning period is 3 days after that u have to go back to life and yr daily rituals like work, etc. and in islam there really is'nt this 3 day ceremony or tribute gathering.

i understand when u say in area of violence there is more understanding of death, it kind of becomes a norm but its different always for the people who lose there loved ones specially in acts of violence. sure if its not happening to some one close u kind of get on with life with some sadness but you really move on. in some cases when u relate to an incident of violence like for example the soccer incident that happened last month in egypt where people our age lost there lives due to violence whilst watching a footie match, well that hits hard if u know what i mean.

i'm not a religious person, i'm actually very loosely moderate but i know what islam says about death and it helps, not to mention for me its not really about personal strength in events like this but more like the responsibility i have towards my family namely my mother and younger brother considering i'm the eldest. i like to think they can get more strength to handle the loss of family ( specially when they r direct siblings). off course its a huge burden to carry specially when u r 24 or even older, but you have to do it.

i think this applies to a lot of members who have passed thru such moments specially if they come from the same back ground as the one i come from.

i hope i've understood yr post correctly greg

 

[Trezegol17]

actually in this part of the world greg religion plays a massive role specially when it comes to death. i mean to say whether muslim or coptic here for instance death is looked upon as sth every one will go thru no matter how long he lives there has to be an end. ( this implies to all things in our worldly life if i can put it that way) we r encouraged to grief for sure, but not to take it over board. when i say over board i mean the cultural aspects of grief. for example in religion you pay condolences at the burial site and a great emphasis is put in the funeral i mean it means a lot if men walk behind the funeral and say prayers at the grave. now the cultural aspect kicks in right after that and between you and me it makes it harder than it should be. for instance when my dad passed away i was off course with him until we buried him and right after that moment as a human i just wanted a lone time. i'm sure any one who has been thru such an expirence would really want some time on his own. i was surprised when family members told me there is a three day ceremony ( not really ceremony its more like a get together so people can come and pay there condolences to me in person since i'm his eldest son), there is no way out of it and to be honest its a great and warmly gesture but 3 days is too much!! in islam the mourning period is 3 days after that u have to go back to life and yr daily rituals like work, etc. and in islam there really is'nt this 3 day ceremony or tribute gathering.

i understand when u say in area of violence there is more understanding of death, it kind of becomes a norm but its different always for the people who lose there loved ones specially in acts of violence. sure if its not happening to some one close u kind of get on with life with some sadness but you really move on. in some cases when u relate to an incident of violence like for example the soccer incident that happened last month in egypt where people our age lost there lives due to violence whilst watching a footie match, well that hits hard if u know what i mean.

i'm not a religious person, i'm actually very loosely moderate but i know what islam says about death and it helps, not to mention for me its not really about personal strength in events like this but more like the responsibility i have towards my family namely my mother and younger brother considering i'm the eldest. i like to think they can get more strength to handle the loss of family ( specially when they r direct siblings). off course its a huge burden to carry specially when u r 24 or even older, but you have to do it.

i think this applies to a lot of members who have passed thru such moments specially if they come from the same back ground as the one i come from.

i hope i've understood yr post correctly greg

What kind of impact had the story of the girl who jumped off a balcony and died to escape her 3 man rape squad Bis? i saw it on the news and i was like wtf....

 

[Bisco]

What kind of impact had the story of the girl who jumped off a balcony and died to escape her 3 man rape squad Bis? i saw it on the news and i was like wtf....

its a sad story to say the least, but whats even worse is how months after she passed away they started talking of it as a suicide attempt on her part and if there is anything i hate, its how some people and sadly people who act as religious scholers ignore what religion says about bad mouthing some one who is no longer with us and start passing judgements out of there head.

 

[Trezegol17]

its a sad story to say the least, but whats even worse is how months after she passed away they started talking of it as a suicide attempt on her part and if there is anything i hate, its how some people and sadly people who act as religious scholers ignore what religion says about bad mouthing some one who is no longer with us and start passing judgements out of there head.

Yeah bro, instead of paying respect to her and hang the rapist they tell shit about a suicide attempt.... What a fucktup world we live in.

On another note, How are ya man? Never see you online anymore We need to have some Legedary convo's!

 

[Bisco]

Yeah bro, instead of paying respect to her and hang the rapist they tell shit about a suicide attempt.... What a fucktup world we live in.

On another note, How are ya man? Never see you online anymore We need to have some Legedary convo's!

ever since big man M got the hell out of the building and we have been blessed with lovely religious scholars


i'm alright not bad, been busy with uni most of the time now trying to push to the finish line. sadly bro msn for some reason never works for me on my lap top so there is no way for me to get on msn no matter how hard i try to download it sth seems to be mis firing for me. will try to give it a shot again bro. i had whats app i remember i caught u once on it but i had to remove it bec it drains my battery as my phone is a bit old ( actually the bitch is getting older as we speak ) will do my best bec i really want to catch up with u a great deal bro.

 

[Tommy]

Youtube tells me
Sorry, something went wrong. A team of highly trained monkeys has been dispatched to deal with this situation.
dafuq?

 

[swag]

actually in this part of the world greg religion plays a massive role specially when it comes to death. i mean to say whether muslim or coptic here for instance death is looked upon as sth every one will go thru no matter how long he lives there has to be an end.

This is where I feel people can readily badmouth religions and throw the baby out with the bathwater. Sure, they are codified ways of living. But when you are dealing with the stresses of having just lost a close family member, you need a ready-made support structure where people have a more comforting and experienced sense of how to handle the situation. There are centuries of practice built into that, as opposed to coming up with everything on the fly as if nobody has ever died before.

Religion has well-earned its many criticisms for its failings and its limitations. Often it comes down to the people anyway, since religions are essentially by the people and for the people. So any "ism" is only as good as the person who believes in it. (And yes, Dhee-Dhee, that includes athe-ism. ) And given that people fail, are insecure, have power-grabs, etc., religion becomes the instrument for a lot of that. In that sense, blaming religion can be a little like blaming the gun for someone who gets shot and killed.

now the cultural aspect kicks in right after that and between you and me it makes it harder than it should be. for instance when my dad passed away i was off course with him until we buried him and right after that moment as a human i just wanted a lone time. i'm sure any one who has been thru such an expirence would really want some time on his own. i was surprised when family members told me there is a three day ceremony ( not really ceremony its more like a get together so people can come and pay there condolences to me in person since i'm his eldest son), there is no way out of it and to be honest its a great and warmly gesture but 3 days is too much!!

This could be one of those situations where traditions have been completely outgrown by modern times. For example, when the three day rule was implemented, it probably took 1-2 days for word to get out to remote families and 1-2 days for them to travel in to pay their respects. Today people can get an email in 5 minutes and book a flight that evening.

i hope i've understood yr post correctly greg

Nope. You've got it.

its a sad story to say the least, but whats even worse is how months after she passed away they started talking of it as a suicide attempt on her part and if there is anything i hate, its how some people and sadly people who act as religious scholers ignore what religion says about bad mouthing some one who is no longer with us and start passing judgements out of there head.

This happens in politics, religion, even in-fighting among teachers and university faculty members (I'm at a conference of educators right now, and you would not believe some of the ideological infighting). It's a human response. The perceived mechanism is the only thing that changes.

 

[Bezzy]

Doubting if i want that job

Two other interviews next week

 

[.zero]

BIIIIIIISSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[swag]

Doubting if i want that job

Two other interviews next week

They make you come back twice to make coffee?

 

[Enron]

Well, I got 'em wet.

 

[swag]

Well, I got 'em wet.

Your new potential employer has T-shirt contests?

Awesome.

 

[Enron]

It was horrible. Open casket, really not the way I want to remember her..

I love funerals. But I have an odd perspective on living and dying.

 

[Nzoric]

Do elaborate

 

[Enron]

Do elaborate

People live and die everyday. Funerals should be a celebration of that life and life to come. A time to remember and reflect. Sure there is sadness, but that is also part of life and should be celebrated. I had a good friend fall off a cliff at the age of 21. He had a bright future, and the time spent with him was short, but it was something to hold onto.

Granted, the funerals I've been to quickly turn into Irish wakes. The beginning is always the toughest part, having to give condolences or receive them. Some people cry, some are quiet, others intoxicated and talkative. We all deal with death differently, but we deal with it. Like life.

---------- Post added 08.03.2012 at 13:57 ----------

I like my ladies warm and wiggling Greg.

 

[Nzoric]

I do get that part, too. I just have a hard time realizing what death really means. I'm pretty clear in what I believe happens, but I've really been obsessing about it the past week or so.

Btw, this is literally the first funeral I've been to - I'm sure they won't all have this effect on me..

 

[JuveJay]

I want something low key for my funeral, like a burning longboat out into the Atlantic.

 

[.zero]

I find certain gatherings like funerals to be quite awkward