What Are You Doing Right Now? (279 Viewers)

[Wittl]

We're not talking about a deep depression here.

Ok. If he just was crying because he loves to be in misery, than it's something else. So my post above is quite useless relating to this case.

 

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[Hængebøffer]

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the work of Reuven Feuerstein, but it's basically about not keeping people in a position and role as a victim. Basically this is the uneducated version of his work

 

[IliveForJuve]

Tuz psychiatrists

 

[Hængebøffer]

Ok. If he just was crying because he loves to be in misery, than it's something else. So my post above is quite useless relating to this case.

That's what we have been discussing for pages.

 

[IliveForJuve]

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the work of Reuven Feuerstein, but it's basically about not keeping people in a position and role as a victim. Basically this is the uneducated version of his work

Sounds good to me

But it can be problematic if you're dealing with narcissists.

 

[Hængebøffer]

Tuz psychiatrists

The nihilistic answer to everything.

 

[Seven]

I don't know if any of you are familiar with the work of Reuven Feuerstein, but it's basically about not keeping people in a position and role as a victim. Basically this is the uneducated version of his work

Well, I don't know him and I'm sure I'd make a very bad psychiatrist. But I have witnessed how perpetuating a victim role can be damaging to a person's life.

All anecdotal evidence of course, I'd gladly be proven wrong.

But not if we're (king Ale and Martin) just going to say people are different. Because guess what? They're not. Not really.

 

[Hængebøffer]

Sure. It's still not your responsibility. And if you allow this wallowing to go on, you'd be just as guilty. It creates a cycle of depression and obsession. Hell, this is how stalkers happen.

Also, suicide is not always a symptom of a mental illness. Sometimes people just make that choice.

It could trigger a depression though. But mostly it's people who can't take the blow to the ego. Which explains why I've seen more men kill themselves over women than the other way around.

I discussed this with some colleagues, when another collegaue of mine killed himself. We hhought it is because more women don't want to kill themselves, but want to create attention.

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Well, I don't know him and I'm sure I'd make a very bad psychiatrist. But I have witnessed how perpetuating a victim role can be damaging to a person's life.

All anecdotal evidence of course, I'd gladly be proven wrong.

But not if we're (king Ale and Martin) just going to say people are different. Because guess what? They're not. Not really.

Well obviously, I would never tell a complete stranger to get his shit together.
In some ways we're different and some ways not.

 

[king Ale]

Again, you haven't loved, you haven't lived

Like I said, not getting over is not equal abandoning normal life or becoming suicidal in my book. So if I can function properly and am capable of planning for my future, the coping argument is tossed out of the window. It is about the person you loved and the qualities they had, and about you also, and how you love and why you love. Obviously feelings we have for other people are uniquely defined depending on who we are and who those other people are, so I'm not trying to give an "objective" (nope!) blanket solution or consultation like what @Seven does (I can't quote for some reason). What I'm saying is if you haven't been where I have been, you either haven't loved or you haven't been with a person so worthy of not getting over with. Either way I pity you

 

[IliveForJuve]

@Fr3sh, don't kill yourself when you move to the isolated and cold Canadian north.

 

[Seven]

Again, you haven't loved, you haven't lived

Like I said, not getting over is not equal abandoning normal life or becoming suicidal in my book. So if I can function properly and am capable of planning for my future, the coping argument is tossed out of the window. It is about the person you loved and the qualities they had, and about you also, and how you love and why you love. Obviously feelings we have for other people are uniquely defined depending on who we are and who those other people are, so I'm not trying to give an "objective" (nope!) blanket solution or consultation like what @Seven does (I can't quote for some reason). What I'm saying is if you haven't been where I have been, you either haven't loved or you haven't been with a person so worthy of not getting over with. Either way I pity you

You are talking about something completely different than everyone else in this thread. I also think you see 'getting over people' as erasing them from your memory. That's not my point at all.

 

[king Ale]

@Zacheryah you didn't love her, obviously not sure about whether what you said makes you an asshole, but it definitely makes you you

 

[IliveForJuve]

Some people fall in love with the image they create of someone rather than the person themselves.

 

[Wittl]

Some people fall in love with the image they create of someone rather than the person themselves.

 

[Quetzalcoatl]

Again, you haven't loved, you haven't lived

Like I said, not getting over is not equal abandoning normal life or becoming suicidal in my book. So if I can function properly and am capable of planning for my future, the coping argument is tossed out of the window. It is about the person you loved and the qualities they had, and about you also, and how you love and why you love. Obviously feelings we have for other people are uniquely defined depending on who we are and who those other people are, so I'm not trying to give an "objective" (nope!) blanket solution or consultation like what @Seven does (I can't quote for some reason). What I'm saying is if you haven't been where I have been, you either haven't loved or you haven't been with a person so worthy of not getting over with. Either way I pity you

Whoever you can't get over must be quite a man

 

[IliveForJuve]

Whoever you can't get over must be quite a man

Only Asamoah can match him.

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Lots of pathetic people:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5jjx26/how_many_monthsyears_did_it_take_you_to_get_over/

 

[Zacheryah]

@Zacheryah you didn't love her, obviously not sure about whether what you said makes you an asshole, but it definitely makes you you

I actually never remotely loved anyone as much as her.


We were a couple for 3 years untill it cracked, and I went trough lenghts trying to make things work again and when it eventually failed after nearly 2 years trying, I was left broken, completely bankrupt and 1 month later into a depression that would make jack proud, and lasted for 7 months.

Literally everyone who knows a thing or two about it, considers me mad for not utterly hating her, but i cant.


I used to be someone like Hustini². Not joking. Some naive ever happy fuck. Never hurting anyone with words or actions.

it made me the cynical cold asshole i tend to be today

 

[Hængebøffer]

I actually never remotely loved anyone as much as her.


I went trough lenghts trying to make things work again and when it eventually failedi was left broken, completely bankrupt and 1 month later into a depression that would make jack proud, and lasted for 7 months.

Literally everyone who knows a thing or two about it, considers me mad for not utterly hating her, but i cant.

@JCK

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Tuz counselling:
@Bianconero_Aus

 

[IliveForJuve]

I actually never remotely loved anyone as much as her.


We were a couple for 3 years untill it cracked, and I went trough lenghts trying to make things work again and when it eventually failed after nearly 2 years trying, I was left broken, completely bankrupt and 1 month later into a depression that would make jack proud, and lasted for 7 months.

Literally everyone who knows a thing or two about it, considers me mad for not utterly hating her, but i cant.


I used to be someone like Hustini². Not joking. Some naive ever happy fuck. Never hurting anyone with words or actions.

it made me the cynical cold asshole i tend to be today

A depression that would make Jack proud

What did she do to you that should make you hate her?

 

[Bianconero_Aus]

@JCK

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Tuz counselling:
@Bianconero_Aus

I love that bloke