I once walked around Virginia Beach with a jack-o-lantern I stole from a bar under my arm and claimed to everybody on the beach that it was my woman.
Yeah, I was pretty drunk. But then before I went down there I made beer Jell-O with a friend using unflavored gelatin mix and Everclear (the beer would evaporate all the alcohol when you tried to distill the beer flavor in the Jell-O, so the Everclear allowed me to add the alcohol back)...