Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,705
To be a bit of the rub in here and to stir up the pot, choices and happiness have arguably been mostly at odds in society.
Plus it's not like society is this huge organism. There are many 'societies' depending on where you live, choice of religion, culture, etc. These little niches influence life decision far more that some grand exposure to the real world.
 

GordoDeCentral

Diez
Moderator
Apr 14, 2005
71,057
i wish i was rich enough to book you a ticket from the good ol Us Of A to tell that to my parents!! i hate how they justify forcing someone into sth they genuinely have no interest in by saying but you will be a DR!! god i hate that word a great deal!! i shudder to think how i might wake up once i graduate to pursue a career in pharmaceuticals when i seriously dislike it!! lucky for me i can still have a business route with pharmaceutical multi-nationals if they get past my age being 29 or 30 when i graduate.

they can ask you your age in interviews over there?
 

Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,705
because they never were real choices, making a statement or following THE plan are not real choices, though the sophist in us might argue that in itself is a choice, but you know what i mean.
There's no such thing as a real choice in that case.

---------- Post added 19.04.2012 at 14:26 ----------

You were supposed to say yes so we could stick it to Abel.:D
 

swag

L'autista
Administrator
Sep 23, 2003
84,945
because they never were real choices, making a statement or following THE plan are not real choices, though the sophist in us might argue that in itself is a choice, but you know what i mean.
Now I don't just mean the Barry Schwartz definition of choice or the Journal of Consumer Research and how our selection of steak sauce at the supermarket makes us unhappy. There's a lot of studies that have refuted the gut-check belief that having more choices necessarily equates to more happiness -- as counterintuitive as that sounds.

To put a corollary in Sheik terms: are arranged marriages necessarily worse than Western ones?

Depends on what you're optimizing. While I feel almost a kind of patronizing pity and rescue instinct for the zombified woman who talks about her glorious subservience to God and "her man", I think it's a bit simplistic to assume that I necessarily have the secrets to her happiness and she does not. Often, that isn't the case.
 

Bisco

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2005
14,420
they can ask you your age in interviews over there?
i was living under the impression they would know my age when they ask me god why were u in uni for that long?!?1 although i've thought of this deeply i think this is more a point in my favour than against me. i can easily prove i'm a committed individual and one that does'nt buckle under pressure but for some reason i got it in my head my age might influence there chances even though i would be considered a fresh graduate.

deneb dont we put the age in our c.v or thats optional? :D
 

Kate

Moderator
Feb 7, 2011
18,598
I was just joking with you :) I would like to think my opinion is sound and educated, we are lucky enough to live in societies where most choices are acceptable and easy-ish to pursue, no one should feel forced into being a housewife or forced into a PhD.
 

Bisco

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2005
14,420
I was just joking with you :) I would like to think my opinion is sound and educated, we are lucky enough to live in societies where most choices are acceptable and easy-ish to pursue, no one should feel forced into being a housewife or forced into a PhD.
the housewife part i agree with u, i feel if my wife wants to pursue a career its my job to show her the support she needs and even stand by her side during those hard times, but regarding a phd i feel its more of a choice forced in you due to the competitiveness of the market. i know people here flock in numbers to get Mba's bec it gives u an edge. ( i know it can back fire and u can be rejected for being over qualified for a hob opening)
 
Apr 15, 2006
56,639
i was living under the impression they would know my age when they ask me god why were u in uni for that long?!?1 although i've thought of this deeply i think this is more a point in my favour than against me. i can easily prove i'm a committed individual and one that does'nt buckle under pressure but for some reason i got it in my head my age might influence there chances even though i would be considered a fresh graduate.

deneb dont we put the age in our c.v or thats optional? :D
You put your DoB in it, so unless they're terrible in basic math, they'll know your age.
 

GordoDeCentral

Diez
Moderator
Apr 14, 2005
71,057
There's no such thing as a real choice in that case.

---------- Post added 19.04.2012 at 14:26 ----------



You were supposed to say yes so we could stick it to Abel.:D
guess we now know who the sophist among us is :D

Now I don't just mean the Barry Schwartz definition of choice or the Journal of Consumer Research and how our selection of steak sauce at the supermarket makes us unhappy. There's a lot of studies that have refuted the gut-check belief that having more choices necessarily equates to more happiness -- as counterintuitive as that sounds.

To put a corollary in Sheik terms: are arranged marriages necessarily worse than Western ones?

Depends on what you're optimizing. While I feel almost a kind of patronizing pity and rescue instinct for the zombified woman who talks about her glorious subservience to God and "her man", I think it's a bit simplistic to assume that I necessarily have the secrets to her happiness and she does not. Often, that isn't the case.
well put, would you agree that the distinction is knowing what makes us happy and be ok with it as opposed to trying to adhere to what should make us happy. example: what i really want is a loose girl, but what i should want is a 'good' one.
 

Kate

Moderator
Feb 7, 2011
18,598
the housewife part i agree with u, i feel if my wife wants to pursue a career its my job to show her the support she needs and even stand by her side during those hard times, but regarding a phd i feel its more of a choice forced in you due to the competitiveness of the market. i know people here flock in numbers to get Mba's bec it gives u an edge. ( i know it can back fire and u can be rejected for being over qualified for a hob opening)
In a way yes, in a way no. PhDs are a different beast to the MBA, but aren't you still working in your field/working towards a goal when you do one of those, even if you feel you need too much education to get there? Being forced to be a housewife is more active in denying you a goal, while the MBA is an added hassle on the path to the goal, if it's what you want.
 

GordoDeCentral

Diez
Moderator
Apr 14, 2005
71,057
i was living under the impression they would know my age when they ask me god why were u in uni for that long?!?1 although i've thought of this deeply i think this is more a point in my favour than against me. i can easily prove i'm a committed individual and one that does'nt buckle under pressure but for some reason i got it in my head my age might influence there chances even though i would be considered a fresh graduate.

deneb dont we put the age in our c.v or thats optional? :D

it's actually illegal to discuss age, before or during employment
 

Bisco

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2005
14,420
You put your DoB in it, so unless they're terrible in basic math, they'll know your age.
:D although i'm not one to boost confidence really or else i would've made a move and changed major when i had the chance i for some reason have loads of belief in my self owning an interview it comes down to being prepared and being smart with how u handle the questions being barged at you.

---------- Post added 19.04.2012 at 20:40 ----------

it's actually illegal to discuss age, before or during employment
i'm glad u pointed this out to me Deneb, bec i never knew that to be honest bro. i thought they asked u about this too. ah well age is a number really its what u have a potential of doing that gives u the edge not when u were born.
 

Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,705
I was just joking with you :) I would like to think my opinion is sound and educated, we are lucky enough to live in societies where most choices are acceptable and easy-ish to pursue, no one should feel forced into being a housewife or forced into a PhD.
My point was that she could do anything, but she chose to do nothing simply because that's how she was brought up. What kind of a choice is that?
 

Bisco

Senior Member
Nov 21, 2005
14,420
In a way yes, in a way no. PhDs are a different beast to the MBA, but aren't you still working in your field/working towards a goal when you do one of those, even if you feel you need too much education to get there? Being forced to be a housewife is more active in denying you a goal, while the MBA is an added hassle on the path to the goal, if it's what you want.
:agree: i agree with that for sure. in that case its not much of being forced to get one but more sth you need to get on to get to your goal that u set for yr self.
 

Kate

Moderator
Feb 7, 2011
18,598
My point was that she could do anything, but she chose to do nothing simply because that's how she was brought up. What kind of a choice is that?
That's what I said earlier about what bothers me, it's not that she wants to be one, it's that she validates that with "it's what we do in my family" and it makes me wonder if she doesn't have a choice. Oh well, let them all make their own mistakes, just like I do.

:agree: i agree with that for sure. in that case its not much of being forced to get one but more sth you need to get on to get to your goal that u set for yr self.
It is irritating the amount of hoops one needs to jump through.
 

Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,705
guess we now know who the sophist among us is :D



well put, would you agree that the distinction is knowing what makes us happy and be ok with it as opposed to trying to adhere to what should make us happy. example: what i really want is a loose girl, but what i should want is a 'good' one.
Just get a good girl with a strong labedo.
 

Enron

Tickle Me
Moderator
Oct 11, 2005
75,705
That's what I said earlier about what bothers me, it's not that she wants to be one, it's that she validates that with "it's what we do in my family" and it makes me wonder if she doesn't have a choice. Oh well, let them all make their own mistakes, just like I do.
It annoys me because we live in an era where "you can have your cake and eat it too".

---------- Post added 19.04.2012 at 14:48 ----------

I read that as lapedo and it made me picture a female pedo bear.
What grade does she teach?
 

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