What Are You Doing Right Now? (200 Viewers)

Kate

Kate

♥
Moderator
#216,161
Feb 7, 2011
18,598
#216,161
icé said:
But those conditions you talk about are very extreme Kate. And even then it's hardly justifiable. You put your trust in someone and that someone puts their trust in you, then breaking it is the biggest sin... Hello btw :D
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They are, but they happen. And I know couples in their fifties and sixties who have been through the cheating, but who are very happy today, just as I know some who are not. I guess you don't know until it happens to you.

Sheik Yerbouti said:
But that's not practical. How many partners have you had who met with an accident that left them paralysed? How many people in this forum have had such a partner? I'd imagine 0.
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Hey, I watched a documentary on them the other day, it happens! And the whole thing rather stuck in my mind. But if it happened to James, I would feel as if it were cheating for me to go off and have sex with someone else.
 

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swag

swag

L'autista
Administrator
#216,164
Sep 23, 2003
84,964
#216,164
In a number of cases, cheating is a sign of emotional immaturity of not being able to confront issues head on. It's like the employee at a company who hates his job but doesn't have the balls to tell his boss and see if he can make it better -- it's just easier and more convenient to not confront it and take another job. Often in those cases of both relationships and employment, you're typically dealing with someone who is unable to escape themselves -- as the same or similar problems appear with the next girlfriend, the next job, etc.

In cases like that, the cheating isn't so much an emotional attachment as it is an escape, as Kate mentions. If the cheater can realize how f*ed up they are in being able to manage themselves and confront problems better directly, that could be reason to take them back if the offended partner otherwise sees too much good to lose along with the bad. But that partner sure as well won't trust the cheater, and the cheater is going to have to earn it like hell ... and may never get full trust ever again.
 
Sheik Yerbouti

Sheik Yerbouti

★★★
#216,166
Apr 15, 2006
56,640
#216,166
icé said:
On to happy topics, me and my missus got a couple of kittens yesterday. Feisty little ones...
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Hey Asif.
icé said:
Time to end my cameo and go to bed! Catch you guys some time later... Good night!
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Bye Asif.
swag said:
In a number of cases, cheating is a sign of emotional immaturity of not being able to confront issues head on. It's like the employee at a company who hates his job but doesn't have the balls to tell his boss and see if he can make it better -- it's just easier and more convenient to not confront it and take another job. Often in those cases of both relationships and employment, you're typically dealing with someone who is unable to escape themselves -- as the same or similar problems appear with the next girlfriend, the next job, etc.

In cases like that, the cheating isn't so much an emotional attachment as it is an escape, as Kate mentions. If the cheater can realize how f*ed up they are in being able to manage themselves and confront problems better directly, that could be reason to take them back if the offended partner otherwise sees too much good to lose along with the bad. But that partner sure as well won't trust the cheater, and the cheater is going to have to earn it like hell ... and may never get full trust ever again.
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Word.
 
Kate

Kate

♥
Moderator
#216,167
Feb 7, 2011
18,598
#216,167
swag said:
In a number of cases, cheating is a sign of emotional immaturity of not being able to confront issues head on. It's like the employee at a company who hates his job but doesn't have the balls to tell his boss and see if he can make it better -- it's just easier and more convenient to not confront it and take another job. Often in those cases of both relationships and employment, you're typically dealing with someone who is unable to escape themselves -- as the same or similar problems appear with the next girlfriend, the next job, etc.

In cases like that, the cheating isn't so much an emotional attachment as it is an escape, as Kate mentions. If the cheater can realize how f*ed up they are in being able to manage themselves and confront problems better directly, that could be reason to take them back if the offended partner otherwise sees too much good to lose along with the bad. But that partner sure as well won't trust the cheater, and the cheater is going to have to earn it like hell ... and may never get full trust ever again.
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Greg takes all of my thoughts and makes them sound better. Thank you, Greg.
 
IrishZebra

IrishZebra

Western Imperialist
#216,168
Jun 18, 2006
23,327
#216,168
swag said:
Not to go all "jesus says turn the other cheek" on you here, but hitting back is bullshit. The woman has just proven to Woody's friend that she's wasted his time, and the response is to waste more time on someone who is irrelevant?

I don't know how this culturally sits with women, etc., but let me put this another way. If I found out some chick I was interested who got cheated on by her previous boyfriend and I learned she went all psycho revenge on him, I would be inclined to think that she's a sicko and someone I should avoid like the plague. Too emotionally immature. Too much of a head-case. Too petty. Too easy to be irrational and do something destructive if something -- like a lot of things in life -- don't quite go the way she'd hope.

That pretty much would give her the mark of the beast in my book.

I don't know. Maybe women find that behavior in men attractive. Or maybe there are men who think this is culturally required of their honor, just like killing their daughters for having premarital sex and shaming the family name. In any case, it represents a woman I want little if anything to do with.
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There's a difference between 'psycho-bitch' and girl that stands up for themselves. It's not black and white. Murdering your ex's cat is not the same a landing a right hook on the slut he slept with, if you catch my drift.

People fail to live up to these lofty ambitions even half the time, everybody is 'petty' to a certain extent. You can interact with people in an adult manner but if they refuse to reciprocate you shouldn't consider paying the respect of being your equal. Your girl cheats, dump her, on the spot. No need to be petty if it's in isolation. It show such a lack of self-respect to let somebody act like that toward you over an extended period of time. It's psychological and social self-defence rather than a vendetta.


Also, if somebody says let's buy a Burger from a street vendor at 4am, kick them in the vagina :inter:
 
WΏΏdy?

WΏΏdy?

Senior Member
#216,169
Dec 23, 2005
14,997
#216,169
I'm so tempted to write down my history with these 2 girls between 2006-08, it was all so fucked up.

It ended up with me breaking up with the most amazing girl ive ever been with,because i cheated on her. I regret it almost every passing day. Strange thing is i knew if i begged i would have easily got back together but knew it wouldnt be the same again. As much as i wanted it i just let it go.
 
swag

swag

L'autista
Administrator
#216,170
Sep 23, 2003
84,964
#216,170
Kate said:
Greg takes all of my thoughts and makes them sound better. Thank you, Greg.
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De nada. :D

IrishZebra said:
There's a difference between 'psycho-bitch' and girl that stands up for themselves. It's not black and white. Murdering your ex's cat is not the same a landing a right hook on the slut he slept with, if you catch my drift.
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Standing up for yourself means knowing when a person is toxic and your future interactions with them will only be toxic as well.

But what do you really achieve by murdering an ex's cat or giving her a black eye? What does that solve or fix? If the problem is your own sense of being wronged, isn't that problem internal -- you -- and not external -- her?

Your girl cheats, dump her, on the spot.
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No argument there, though. I just think the revenge fantasies are childish bullshit. They only give a false sense of reciprocation while making both parties look like petty idiots.
 
swag

swag

L'autista
Administrator
#216,171
Sep 23, 2003
84,964
#216,171
WΏΏdy;3219329 said:
I'm so tempted to write down my history with these 2 girls between 2006-08, it was all so fucked up.

It ended up with me breaking up with the most amazing girl ive ever been with,because i cheated on her. I regret it almost every passing day. Strange thing is i knew if i begged i would have easily got back together but knew it wouldnt be the same again. As much as i wanted it i just let it go.
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In a strange way, good for you for having the emotional maturity to recognize that Humpty Dumpty couldn't simply be put back together again.
 
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