The man is walking quote-machine, here's a collection. And yes, I keep track 
Martin’s quotes
On his shortcomings:
“You can try and beat me at being pathetic but I’ll give you a run for your money!”
On answering the question “Do you like pigeons”?
“Yeah I do, got myself a firearm!”
On pets:
“I can only cope with human stupidity every so often. How am I gonna come to terms with animals? Not gonna happen...“
On typing “toin coss”, and the spelling error being pointed out to him:
“Yeah, it looked funny to me as I wrote it but couldn’t quite spot the error…”
On dental expenses:
“Son of a *****! Just added up my dentist expenses from last year with 2000 euros! Glad I’m not the one paying!”
On England:
“You don't wanna go some place where they speak horrible English. Like England...”
On the value of mental sanity:
“Yeah I was thinking about speaking to a priest, cause therapists are so expensive you know…”
On his chances to rejoin the boy scouts:
“No, got myself a restraining order…”
On manicures:
“Oh engulfing it is; a whole science of keeping nails... erm… naily.”
On chimney sweepers:
“I gotta sit at home tomorrow and wait for… what do you call them people who sweep chimneys?”
On Tina Turner's duet with Rod Stewart:
"It takes two? C’mon, what could be more depressing?"
On late night TV:
“I love watching those late night TV movies, they always stink.”
On people who plan their funeral:
”Guess these people don’t realize they might as well be on a wooden board with nails sticking out, they’re dead anyway.”
On Skype telephoning:
“Note to self: talking to people I don’t know is boring.”
On talking to one-self:
”Yeah, I encourage that!”
On the good places in this world:
“One history teacher was a huge Russia fan, the other a China fan… what’s with these people?”
On a blond guy at a Stockholm terrace:
“Cold? It’s not cold … the mimbo’s hot!”
On Norway:
“Since we’ve lived here it has come to top a lot of the UN listings for standard of living etc. So yeah, we’re just taking advantage.”
On the large amount of French players at Arsenal FC:
“Well what do you prefer; an English Arsenal or a French one? I know which one I like better!”
On bowling:
“My cousin went beserk when my ball bounced out of my lane, onto the lane next to it and back again, only to knock over two pins in the end. I don’t see why. Perfectly scientifically explainable…”
On his MP3 play list:
“You wouldn’t appreciate it but I couldn’t actually change it to improve it, it’s that good.”
On fixing dinner:
“I got a pineapple in the fridge.”
On Australians:
“I’m confused. I downloaded a bunch of football games these days from various channels and some have Australian commies who are not bad at all so now my stereotype is crumbling…”
On the rules of e-mail:
“It’s one thing to be awkward and not know what to say but if you get an e-mail you ****ing reply to it!”
On working hard:
Guess what; I spent the whole day at school, first day of the semester. Didn’t do shit though, just lazing. Small steps..!
On memory:
“I realized I actually have a very good memory and a lot of people would verify that for you! I just don’t always have access to it…”
On me, urging him to think of something about South-Korea in addition to Australia so we got Graham covered:
“You can't force it man!”
Martin’s quotes
On his shortcomings:
“You can try and beat me at being pathetic but I’ll give you a run for your money!”
On answering the question “Do you like pigeons”?
“Yeah I do, got myself a firearm!”
On pets:
“I can only cope with human stupidity every so often. How am I gonna come to terms with animals? Not gonna happen...“
On typing “toin coss”, and the spelling error being pointed out to him:
“Yeah, it looked funny to me as I wrote it but couldn’t quite spot the error…”
On dental expenses:
“Son of a *****! Just added up my dentist expenses from last year with 2000 euros! Glad I’m not the one paying!”
On England:
“You don't wanna go some place where they speak horrible English. Like England...”
On the value of mental sanity:
“Yeah I was thinking about speaking to a priest, cause therapists are so expensive you know…”
On his chances to rejoin the boy scouts:
“No, got myself a restraining order…”
On manicures:
“Oh engulfing it is; a whole science of keeping nails... erm… naily.”
On chimney sweepers:
“I gotta sit at home tomorrow and wait for… what do you call them people who sweep chimneys?”
On Tina Turner's duet with Rod Stewart:
"It takes two? C’mon, what could be more depressing?"
On late night TV:
“I love watching those late night TV movies, they always stink.”
On people who plan their funeral:
”Guess these people don’t realize they might as well be on a wooden board with nails sticking out, they’re dead anyway.”
On Skype telephoning:
“Note to self: talking to people I don’t know is boring.”
On talking to one-self:
”Yeah, I encourage that!”
On the good places in this world:
“One history teacher was a huge Russia fan, the other a China fan… what’s with these people?”
On a blond guy at a Stockholm terrace:
“Cold? It’s not cold … the mimbo’s hot!”
On Norway:
“Since we’ve lived here it has come to top a lot of the UN listings for standard of living etc. So yeah, we’re just taking advantage.”
On the large amount of French players at Arsenal FC:
“Well what do you prefer; an English Arsenal or a French one? I know which one I like better!”
On bowling:
“My cousin went beserk when my ball bounced out of my lane, onto the lane next to it and back again, only to knock over two pins in the end. I don’t see why. Perfectly scientifically explainable…”
On his MP3 play list:
“You wouldn’t appreciate it but I couldn’t actually change it to improve it, it’s that good.”
On fixing dinner:
“I got a pineapple in the fridge.”
On Australians:
“I’m confused. I downloaded a bunch of football games these days from various channels and some have Australian commies who are not bad at all so now my stereotype is crumbling…”
On the rules of e-mail:
“It’s one thing to be awkward and not know what to say but if you get an e-mail you ****ing reply to it!”
On working hard:
Guess what; I spent the whole day at school, first day of the semester. Didn’t do shit though, just lazing. Small steps..!
On memory:
“I realized I actually have a very good memory and a lot of people would verify that for you! I just don’t always have access to it…”
On me, urging him to think of something about South-Korea in addition to Australia so we got Graham covered:
“You can't force it man!”
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