Zac blames failed objective on failed staged alien invasion
Football Italia
April 25, 2010
Alberto Zaccheroni insists that the lack of an alien invasion during the 2009/2010 Serie A season is the reason why Juventus will not secure a Champions League spot.
The Bianconeri welcomed Bari to the Olimpico this afternoon and won the match 3-0, but the result was not enough to save their season.
"I don't like to blame anybody but my own team for my failures, but this time I have to do it," claimed the coach.
"If there was something that happened during the year to deflect pressure off our shoulders, like a real or staged alien invasion, this would have turned out better. But no, it's all their fault, they didn't come this year.
"Admittedly you could say that I'm not being objective, but when you look at Roswell there was something that crashed. You know that Area 51? That is real. So I don't know why they didn't invade.
"People should be careful in criticizing aliens because you never know when they will fly in and lift you to their vessel. But I have to say that they failed Juventus this year. They failed me."
The former Milan manager also commented that he tried to stage his own alien invasion but failed.
"Since the aliens seemed unlikely to come after the Fulham result, I had to take matters in my own hands," assured Zacc. "I was going to report to the authorities that Sebastian (Giovinco) had gone missing and was probably abducted by invading aliens, but Blanc would not allow me to make the statement to the press.
“The one thing I didn’t take into account when thinking of this plan was that Giovinco was not really missing. So it wouldn't have worked anyway."
Juventus will finish out the season with matches against Catania, Parma and AC Milan.
Football Italia
April 25, 2010
Alberto Zaccheroni insists that the lack of an alien invasion during the 2009/2010 Serie A season is the reason why Juventus will not secure a Champions League spot.
The Bianconeri welcomed Bari to the Olimpico this afternoon and won the match 3-0, but the result was not enough to save their season.
"I don't like to blame anybody but my own team for my failures, but this time I have to do it," claimed the coach.
"If there was something that happened during the year to deflect pressure off our shoulders, like a real or staged alien invasion, this would have turned out better. But no, it's all their fault, they didn't come this year.
"Admittedly you could say that I'm not being objective, but when you look at Roswell there was something that crashed. You know that Area 51? That is real. So I don't know why they didn't invade.
"People should be careful in criticizing aliens because you never know when they will fly in and lift you to their vessel. But I have to say that they failed Juventus this year. They failed me."
The former Milan manager also commented that he tried to stage his own alien invasion but failed.
"Since the aliens seemed unlikely to come after the Fulham result, I had to take matters in my own hands," assured Zacc. "I was going to report to the authorities that Sebastian (Giovinco) had gone missing and was probably abducted by invading aliens, but Blanc would not allow me to make the statement to the press.
“The one thing I didn’t take into account when thinking of this plan was that Giovinco was not really missing. So it wouldn't have worked anyway."
Juventus will finish out the season with matches against Catania, Parma and AC Milan.
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