She had skanked me for a fakely tanned, muscular yankee 'playwright' who worked in her restaurant...whilst here in Melbourne...we split. Harshly, violently...then I remembered kissing her mother on the cheek, fixing her with my glare of integrity and saying 'DONT WORRY...whatever happens, i will look after your daughter'...and so, after much internal combat, I allowed her to stay with me until she was due to fly home, for her mother's wedding...A fiery period. Too much pain for me to see her as anything other than an Enemy...but I tried...as she attempted, sporadically to seduce me...still, when she left, it was heavy, for us both...i was left here with the maltese shitsu wolverine puppy, and she was now in nottingham, england, wailing about how much she missed us, wanted to come back...i went with Heart, told my Gandalf mind to go eat a bowl of fuck, and offered her the chance to return...then she ignored me for a week or two, started fucking her X boyfriend again, got back into the coke, the speed, nightly intense drinking...i cut contact. Then went on a mission of fucking without feeling, forsaking my own moral code which I had followed valiantly for 30 years...4 women, 4 months...and recently I stopped that bullshit. And then heard from The Girl...who is now living with her father, desperately depressed, split from her X...and becoming addicted to ephedrine and hard spirits which her father allows his good buddies to supply to her...we spoke a week ago. And I was angry at myself after for being so soft...but now, I am in a period, of working myself up to Cutting all Ties...of explaining that its impossible for me to even think of her, without the Hurt flaring up inside me, violently, bitterly...so, its for the best, for MY best...to leave her be. So...hopefully. NO I dont still speak to her. but as always...I am far more capable with matters of the mind, than of the heart.