Paulo Dybala (177 Viewers)

[duranfj]

Even current Pipa is more suited to play sarriball than Lukaku. Not to say the latter won't bang in goals, but play short one-two's and actively participate in build-up game? No. At least he isn't a lowlife interista cunt though.

I know but that's not a very good reason by itself cuz we all know the weakest Lukaku skill has is his first touch and his game vision, the guy is way more limited than all top CF around

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Laudisa: Paratici is trying to convince Dybala to join Man United. After the first meeting Paulo rejected Man United.

That's how you do it Paulo, do you want me out? so pay me out moron, after u do it, I would make the other side also pay me, are you gonna give a 9m salary to a guy with almost zero marketing appeal and way lower resale price asshole?

What don't you work on sale the players everyone knows you need to sell?

 

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[Stevie]

If ever there was a time for our ultras to protest it's now. I see alot of support for Dybala to stay on social media I hope at least some of it is getting through to him or the people that matter. Probably not though.

 

[AllegriGOAT]

I believe the meeting between Dybala and Paratici went like this:

Paratici : Hi, Paolo how was your vacation?

Dybala: GRANDE! me and Dani had a super time on his yacht. We drank Coronas all day and night, Maluma was on board singing the best reggaeton, the steaks are very juicy and tender but the best are the women....they are BELLESIMO!!! You should try out the pussies, Fabio. They are just as juicy and tender as the steaks.

Paratici: Ah, I'm glad you had a great time.

Dybala: Thanks, so when do I begin training?

Paratici : That's what I'm here to tell you.

Dybala: Que?

Paratici: You see, Paolo we are in a tight spot and need to raise cash for the plusvalenza. Me and the board had a long meeting for course of action and we decided it will be you.

Dybala:....State of confusion

Paratici: Still processing it? Ok, it's not bad as think you think. We are just gonna trade you to a club worthy of your talent in exchange for one of their players.

Paratici shows him the picture of the player he is going to replace him, Dybala takes a closer look

Dybala: You swapping me to Manchester United for Mark Henry? But why????? They are an irrelevant club!

Paratici: Like I said, it is for the plusvalenza and it is not just you. Mario is going with you, Cancelo is moving to Manchester City as well. Soon every players and their moms will be traded for the PLUSVALENZA!!!! manically laughs like a spastic

Dybala: But....I don't want to go to Manchester.

Paratici: You are going!!!

Dybala: No, Tevez and Di Maria told me Manchester is a shithole and slums in Argentina is more safe than Manchester.

Paratici: Don't listen to them, Paolo. Both of them have a combined IQ of 80. What about your buddy Paul? He seem to enjoy life very much.

Dybala: That's not true. Paul cry to me on his phone everyday telling me leaving Juventus is the biggest mistake in his life and he is in deep depression and became an alcoholic. Do you know he drink so much vodka, it replaced his blood cells?

Paratici: C'mon, Paolo maybe he's lonely. You can cheer him up by moving with him at Manchester.

Dybala: I don't think I should. I don't wanna end up like Paul and there's nothing you can do to change my mind.

Paratici start to shake, gritting his teeth, clinching his fist then slowly takes his sunglasses off

Paratici: LISTEN, YOU LITTLE SHIT!! YOU ARE GOING TO MANCHESTER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!! I REALLY, REALLY REEEEEAAAAALLLY NEED THIS PLUSVALENZA AND YOU WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP!!!

Dybala: Stick it up your ass, I am not leaving!

Paratici takes a slow deep breath and collect his thoughts

Paratici: Ok, Paolo I don't wanna do this but if you gonna be this way you leave me with no choice. If you're aren't going to Manchester, I'm gonna sell your ass to Inter and boy you don't wanna be there. Just ask your pal Mauro and how he is getting along with the Balkans. I should let you know The Balkans are very ruthless and have an extra disdain for Argentines like yourself so what's its gonna be?

Next day

 

[Juve92]

I believe the meeting between Dybala and Paratici went like this:

Paratici : Hi, Paolo how was your vacation?

Dybala: GRANDE! me and Dani had a super time on his yacht. We drank Coronas all day and night, Maluma was on board singing the best reggaeton, the steaks are very juicy and tender but the best are the women....they are BELLESIMO!!! You should try out the pussies, Fabio. They are just as juicy and tender as the steaks.

Paratici: Ah, I'm glad you had a great time.

Dybala: Thanks, so when do I begin training?

Paratici : That's what I'm here to tell you.

Dybala: Que?

Paratici: You see, Paolo we are in a tight spot and need to raise cash for the plusvalenza. Me and the board had a long meeting for course of action and we decided it will be you.

Dybala:....State of confusion

Paratici: Still processing it? Ok, it's not bad as think you think. We are just gonna trade you to a club worthy of your talent in exchange for one of their players.

Paratici shows him the picture of the player he is going to replace him, Dybala takes a closer look

Dybala: You swapping me to Manchester United for Mark Henry? But why????? They are an irrelevant club!

Paratici: Like I said, it is for the plusvalenza and it is not just you. Mario is going with you, Cancelo is moving to Manchester City as well. Soon every players and their moms will be traded for the PLUSVALENZA!!!! manically laughs like a spastic

Dybala: But....I don't want to go to Manchester.

Paratici: You are going!!!

Dybala: No, Tevez and Di Maria told me Manchester is a shithole and slums in Argentina is more safe than Manchester.

Paratici: Don't listen to them, Paolo. Both of them have a combined IQ of 80. What your buddy Paul? He seem to enjoy life very much.

Dybala: That's not true. Paul cry to me on his phone everyday telling me leaving Juventus is the biggest mistake in his life and he is in deep depression and become an alcoholic. Do you know he drink so much vodka, it replaced his blood cells?

Paratici: C'mon, Paolo maybe he's lonely. You can cheer him up by moving with him at Manchester.

Dybala: I don't think I should. I don't wanna end up like Paul and there's nothing you can do to change my mind.

Paratici start to shake, gritting his teeth, clinching his fist then slowly takes his sunglasses off

Paratici: LISTEN, YOU LITTLE SHIT!! YOU ARE GOING TO MANCHESTER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!! I REALLY, REALLY REEEEEAAAAALLLY NEED THIS PLUSVALENZA AND YOU WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP!!!

Dybala: Stick it up your ass, I am not leaving!

Paratici takes a slow deep breath and collect his thoughts

Paratici: Ok, Paolo I don't wanna do this but if you gonna be this way you leave me with no choice. If you're aren't going to Manchester, I'm gonna sell your ass to Inter and boy you don't wanna be there. Just ask your pal Mauro and how he is getting along with the Balkans. I should let you know The Balkans are very ruthless and have an extra disdain for Argentines like yourself so what's its gonna be?

Next day

You are trying too hard, give up pls. Thanks.

 

[K.O.]

If these utterly stupid exchanges involving Dybala-Lukaku and Cancelo-Danilo are direct requests from Sarri then I'm starting to think he has an agenda to ruin this club for the love of Napoli.

 

[X Æ A-12]

that's right, Paulo don't let Fabio Fica force you out.

If he needs that Plusvalenza so badly then maybe he should get to work selling Khedira, Matuidi, Mandzukic and Rugani. Possibly Higuain too if he is not wanted for Sarriball.

 

[Nardonejuve]

Bravo Dyba. Dont accept shit, dont wish anyone the career suicide this boards forcing upon you.

 

[DAiDEViL]

If these utterly stupid exchanges involving Dybala-Lukaku and Cancelo-Danilo are direct requests from Sarri then I'm starting to think he has an agenda to ruin this club for the love of Napoli.

Look at the Football Sarri likes to play. Do you seriously think he'd want us to swap Dybala with Lukaku?

It's the same with the infamous "Allegri is only asking for donkey midfielders that's why our mid is what it is now" argument. Our coaches simply don't have much say in transfers, that should be clear by now.

 

[campionesidd]

You are trying too hard, give up pls. Thanks.

We need a post from @Gagi

 

[X Æ A-12]

Look at the Football Sarri likes to play. Do you seriously think he'd want us to swap Dybala with Lukaku?

It's the same with the infamous "Allegri is only asking for donkey midfielders that's why our mid is what it is now" argument. Our coaches simply don't have much say in transfers, that should be clear by now.

I think the real problem is how Sarri isn't asking hard enough to keep Dybala

 

[Juve92]

If these utterly stupid exchanges involving Dybala-Lukaku and Cancelo-Danilo are direct requests from Sarri then I'm starting to think he has an agenda to ruin this club for the love of Napoli.

I don't believe Paratici is that stupid, and neither is Sarri. Let’s wait and see.

 

[DAiDEViL]

I think the real problem is how Sarri isn't asking hard enough to keep Dybala

I fear if he asks harder Knobhead is gonna replace him with Inzaghi.

 

[juve123]

Man United have offered Dybala a €12m salary per year. Paulo is not convinced with the offer & would like to stay in Turin, also he does not consider the Premier League the most suitable league for his characteristics. (Tmw)

 

[The Quazis]

Hold on boy, we're with you!

 

[dolph]

I believe the meeting between Dybala and Paratici went like this:

Paratici : Hi, Paolo how was your vacation?

Dybala: GRANDE! me and Dani had a super time on his yacht. We drank Coronas all day and night, Maluma was on board singing the best reggaeton, the steaks are very juicy and tender but the best are the women....they are BELLESIMO!!! You should try out the pussies, Fabio. They are just as juicy and tender as the steaks.

Paratici: Ah, I'm glad you had a great time.

Dybala: Thanks, so when do I begin training?

Paratici : That's what I'm here to tell you.

Dybala: Que?

Paratici: You see, Paolo we are in a tight spot and need to raise cash for the plusvalenza. Me and the board had a long meeting for course of action and we decided it will be you.

Dybala:....State of confusion

Paratici: Still processing it? Ok, it's not bad as think you think. We are just gonna trade you to a club worthy of your talent in exchange for one of their players.

Paratici shows him the picture of the player he is going to replace him, Dybala takes a closer look

Dybala: You swapping me to Manchester United for Mark Henry? But why????? They are an irrelevant club!

Paratici: Like I said, it is for the plusvalenza and it is not just you. Mario is going with you, Cancelo is moving to Manchester City as well. Soon every players and their moms will be traded for the PLUSVALENZA!!!! manically laughs like a spastic

Dybala: But....I don't want to go to Manchester.

Paratici: You are going!!!

Dybala: No, Tevez and Di Maria told me Manchester is a shithole and slums in Argentina is more safe than Manchester.

Paratici: Don't listen to them, Paolo. Both of them have a combined IQ of 80. What about your buddy Paul? He seem to enjoy life very much.

Dybala: That's not true. Paul cry to me on his phone everyday telling me leaving Juventus is the biggest mistake in his life and he is in deep depression and became an alcoholic. Do you know he drink so much vodka, it replaced his blood cells?

Paratici: C'mon, Paolo maybe he's lonely. You can cheer him up by moving with him at Manchester.

Dybala: I don't think I should. I don't wanna end up like Paul and there's nothing you can do to change my mind.

Paratici start to shake, gritting his teeth, clinching his fist then slowly takes his sunglasses off

Paratici: LISTEN, YOU LITTLE SHIT!! YOU ARE GOING TO MANCHESTER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!! I REALLY, REALLY REEEEEAAAAALLLY NEED THIS PLUSVALENZA AND YOU WILL NOT FUCK THIS UP!!!

Dybala: Stick it up your ass, I am not leaving!

Paratici takes a slow deep breath and collect his thoughts

Paratici: Ok, Paolo I don't wanna do this but if you gonna be this way you leave me with no choice. If you're aren't going to Manchester, I'm gonna sell your ass to Inter and boy you don't wanna be there. Just ask your pal Mauro and how he is getting along with the Balkans. I should let you know The Balkans are very ruthless and have an extra disdain for Argentines like yourself so what's its gonna be?

Next day

 

[GordoDeCentral]

that's right, Paulo don't let Fabio Fica force you out.

If he needs that Plusvalenza so badly then maybe he should get to work selling Khedira, Matuidi, Mandzukic and Rugani. Possibly Higuain too if he is not wanted for Sarriball.

Fabio fica? Lol

 

[X Æ A-12]

also he does not consider the Premier League the most suitable league for his characteristics. (Tmw)

no shit

 

[Stevie]

He would get crushed in the premier League if he leaves us it has to be for Spain or France (PSG)

 

[am0110]

Still crying for this balon d'or player with one WC game?

 

[DS8_Montero]

I hate this short termism. It’s not like amortized costs go away, we still have to pay for the 85 million eventually. We still struggle to pay for Higuain’s amortization.

This. If this is the logic, then it's no better than any get-rich-quick scheme without thinking about long-term consequences. Which, unfortunately, suits this management's level of strategic thinking.