Since you mentioned lolzillians there’s a funny real story about this guy back in the early 80’s who was signed by several clubs but never played a single minute. And I’m talking about like Flamengo, Vasco, you know big Brazilian clubs. Both he and his agent were fucking geniuses.
I was looking for any article in English to post but the motherfucker has its own Wikipedia page
I saved the best for last. His
footballer name was Kaiser



these germenzilians
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carlos_Kaiser_(footballer)