Fapiopoli 2007
Prosecutors in Naples and Rome have opened separate investingations into the Fapiopoli results which were previously certified for the year 2006. Last year's runner-up, Mikey Burke, is under investigation for some of the 117 shoe Faps he reported in 2006. Naples prosectors believe that on at least 8 occasions Burke fapped his own shoe, while their Roman counterparts put that figure at closer to 20. Under the current Fapiopoli rules, fapping one's own shoe in not per se illegal, but those Faps are strictly prohibited from being included in one's year-end total.
Fapiopoli 2007
Relegated Fapiopoli entity Andrew Beck has hit out at Mikey Burke for potentially cheating during his way to the runner-up spot for the year 2006. Prosecutors in Naples and Rome have brought forth evidence citing that Burke fapped in his own shoe during the competition, an illegal procedure cited by the Federazione Italiana Fapiopoli Fappy (FIFF).
"This is absolute madness. I have always known that Burke has been cheating the system, even before May 5th, 2002 where he fapped 4 shoes to win," stated Beck at a recent press conference. "I should be given the title due to these findings because, if Burke has been cheating all along, there is no question there are other conspirators."
Prosecutors in Naples and Rome are currently gathering evidence for the trial, and head prosecutor Guido Fapossi has shed some light on the proceedings. "Padovano was clearly the winner this past season, but if he conspired with Burke to create a fapiopoli monopoly, I will make sure the results are amended. And besides, despite Beck having zero faps for 21 years, he still tried very hard. I think he was cheated."
In other news, Beck was happy that he discovered his pet beagle liked peanut butter. "Smack that shit on yourself anywhere and sit back, enjoy, cocksuckers," he said.
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