"hello emergency services can i help?"
"somebody help me, my buddy just shot himself in the face"
"calm down is he badly hurt?do you need an ambulance?"
"no he seems fine, but there is a bloody mess everywhere"
"is he bleeding?"
"no"
"what kind of gun did he shoot himself with?"
"it was a 7-inch,pump-action burkenheimer"
"a sorry,what?i dont think i have ever heard of that"
"he was giving the barrel a good cleaning when it just went off,oh god my mom is gonna kill me there is a mess everywhere"
"does he need the assistance of an ambulance?"
"nah he just needs a kleenex and a change of shirt"
"i am sorry, what exactly can i do for you?"
"you could let me lay my fat belly on you and my mom"
"..........................."
"hello?hello......bitch hung up"