++ [ originally posted by Alex ] ++
Seaman - Overrated, incredibly ridiculous ponytail, he should get a hat, some boots and go perform in a saloon
Zebina - A big burly character with the physique of some wrestler. His skills don't contradict that illusion either, card collector over here (usually red).
Rio - The ugliest man in the Premiership, won't insist I've seen them all but so far he has the lead
Hierro - Very dirty, very proud and impressed with himself, fortunately he was fired this summer
Beckham - I have no problem with his person, but he's very good at selling himself and all the hysteria around him is just mildly exaggerated, as a player he's a respected professional though
Simeone - A jackass, a cheater, the Beckham incident which was absolutely appaling
Keane - Another "man of steel", the kind of player I think completely contradicts the ideals of the game. And he's got a big mouth.
El Hadji Diouf - This guy is in love with his own shadow
Totti - No list would be complete without prettyboy. Of course the irony is that he's not good looking, Montella for instance is a lot more pleasant on the eye. On top of that he's Trap's favorite for no good reason and together with Vieri they sometimes show up for Azzurri games.
Ronaldo - Adidas sells Kournikova, Nike sells Ronaldo. Once upon a time he was a brilliant player but he's so impressed with himself it's sickening. He also has a huge debt with Nike for promoting the living daylights out of him, without them he'd never be chosen world player of the year, probably not even once.
Shearer - Elbow man.